


One Step Away

by Kou (Rietto)



Series: AkaYona AU : Zeno caring Shin-Ah [4]
Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, dragon children incoming, full of headcanons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-22
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-03-31 17:01:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 41,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3985897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rietto/pseuds/Kou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zeno promised him lots of things, and Shin-Ah knew he'd grant every single one of them.<br/>Even if he couldn't, Shin-Ah didn't mind. As long as he could be with Zeno, it's alright.</p><p>In which Shin-Ah get to meet the other dragon children.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Español available: [A un paso de distancia](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4502010) by [narutinachan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/narutinachan/pseuds/narutinachan)



> An-Hi is my OC. Might or might not tell more about her, but well, let's see later.  
> Zeno caused others concerns. It's expected.

"Bye bye!"

A young girl yelled with face flushed and breathing ragged from all the running she did earlier, one of her hands was held by her mother, and the other was waved with all her strength. Shin-Ah timidly waved back.

The females giggled. He heard the mother commenting that he's really cute, and could feel his face heating up from embarassment.

"See you later, Shin-Ah."

"A... Ah! Yes! See you!"

He said loudly despite himself, feeling giddy and warm and he couldn't get used to it even though he had exchanged similar words with her and many others for weeks now.

After they went inside their house, Shin-Ah ran to where Zeno was.

The yellow dragon was leaning on a tree not far away, just watching over him with a smile like always. He was holding a basket of fish and eggs, probably things he’d bought and stuffs he'd gathered from the nearby forest. The setting sun made him seem solemn for some reason.

"I'm sorry. I've kept you waiting."

"Don't sweat it. Zeno just arrived too. Did you have fun?"

Shin-Ah nodded in confirmation, the movement made his bells rang. Zeno chuckled and ruffled his hair fondly.

"Then job well done for today too, isn't it? As expected of Shin-Ah! Zeno got quite a lot today too, so we can have a feast!"

Shin-Ah nodded in acknowledgment, but apparently he unconsciously did more than that because Zeno seemed to be able see through him.

"What did you play? You seem hungrier than ever. We should hurry back then."

Zeno offered him his hand, and Shin-Ah eagerly gripped it tight like always.

"I played hide and seek. I ran a lot. And I found everyone."

"That's great! Did everyone found you too?"

Shin-Ah nodded enthusiastically.

"They could always find me first. They said my bells are dead give-away. They said they knew where I was because of them. I’m glad."

It was another happy day.

* * *

 

To rewind a bit, Zeno and Shin-Ah had arrived in a village still in Earth Tribe region. It wasn't a particularly flourishing place, but it seemed peaceful and the villagers were friendly. When they arrived the leaves were starting to turn red and the air was cooler, and it was time for harvest. Probably why the village was in such a good mood.

The first day, they played together with the children. Mostly Zeno, with him mostly just followed him around being a nervous wreck though. The second, Zeno asked the children, seemingly couple years older than Shin-Ah mostly, to take care of Shin-Ah and play with him while he off to find work on the field.

They all agreed. Shin-Ah didn't at first, he didn't think he could handle being with others without Zeno and would rather help him somehow, but he finally relented in the end. Zeno said it's his job to get money and other necessities for their daily life, while Shin-Ah's job was to play a lot.

"Zeno can sense you, so it's alright. If there's anything, I'll come running. Shin-Ah will be able to see me all the time too."

Of course it wasn't enough to convince him, but Shin-Ah had decided to not defy Zeno and the only reason he found out about his reluctance and tried to calm him was because of how his anxiety showed on his whole body. But he did feel a bit calmer when he realized the truth in Zeno's words.

He could see everything, even with his mask on. Well, at least everything outside on the village. The field too, was easy to see.

"... won't leave?"

"Zeno won't leave you alone, I promise."

At first, it was awkward. His mask really caused lots of questions. Thankfully, everyone had accepted Zeno's explanation the day before about Shin-Ah's mask. It was a custom the village Shin-Ah was from to have the esteemed member of their society wear mask, and Shin-Ah kept on wearing it after leaving in memory of his life with an important person there.

Which wasn't a lie. He was in a way refered in his village, and he wore mask to prevent the activation of his power, because Ao said he shouldn't use it ever and he feared what happened with the soldiers would happen again.

Zeno's way to see things was amazing. And even though he said nothing, no one asked Shin-Ah to take off his mask. Zeno was amazing.

He's amazing too, to be able to join them easily even though he's years older than the children, and to be able to seem like he genuinely had fun without worry was amazing too.

Still, Shin-Ah wasn't Zeno.

And the children noticed that.

Shin-Ah didn't have bright smile like Zeno. He didn't have Zeno's kind eyes. His voice was unclear and not at all nice to hear like Zeno's. He couldn't make up fun new games to play too.

(Hopefully they couldn't see that unlike Zeno, he could kill them all with one look)

But still, they included him in their games.

Even though it was obvious that they were having doubts.

But then, they found out that Shin-Ah had good reflexes and could follow their movements quickly. They quickly considered him a formidable team-mate to have, even though he was the youngest and hadn’t been with them for long.

He had fun. More fun than he thought was possible for him.

When he realized it, the sun had already set and everyone’s parents had come to get them. They waved him good-bye, and said ‘let’s play again tomorrow!’ and he waved back to them and agreed to their invitation before running to where Zeno was.

“… play… tomorrow again, they said…”

He said disbelievingly as he tugged Zeno’s sleeves before he started rambling about the details. Zeno smiled kindly and Shin-Ah could see a hint of pride somehow, and he just listened to him until he’s done, and Shin-Ah asked if tomorrow he could really play again with those children.

“Of course you can. Rather, you have to.”

Then, they returned to their camp hand in hand, and Zeno told him what had happened that day to him. About the work he’d found and how much he’d be able to get, and predictions about how long Shin-Ah would have to wait until he could give him the things on the list.

Not that Shin-Ah cared about that. He’d told Zeno to not force himself, but he said it’s his selfishness to want to give things so please accept them later, and Shin-Ah couldn’t say no to that.

That’s what happened on their first days in the village, but in present, weeks already passed and the season had changed.

Zeno and Shin-Ah camped outside on the edge of the forest near the village for few first days of their stay, but then an old lady found out about it and yelled at Zeno.

“Letting a scrawny sickly kid like this camp outside in this weather, are you out of your mind, you crazy gecko?! Get up before I set you on fire and sell you on sticks!”

They've been staying with her since.

Her name was An-Hi, and apparently she’d known Zeno. Apparently Zeno had come to the village before and met her, and things happened and Zeno left, and he seemed so happy despite the death threats because apparently he didn’t expect her to still be alive.

“She’s old, you see? Zeno rarely meet someone as old as she-“

“Don’t call me old!”

An-Hi liked to hit him with her walking stick a lot. Mostly in the head.

But Zeno’s at fault too, Shin-Ah supposed. A girl in the village told him that commenting on a lady’s age is something he must not do in any circumstances.

And Zeno always smiled wide and seemed blissed for some odd reason. It’s natural for An-Hi to want to hit him more, Shin-Ah supposed.

Zeno was weird after all.

“How did you find me, An-Hi?”

“People told me about you and your kid. You come to field at dawn with him and he left after the children started to come out… and you told them you’re camping near the forest with the kid. They’re concerned.”

“Shin-Ah’s not my kid.”

An-Hi scoffed and told Zeno to keep telling himself that.

Apparently Zeno had thought that since Shin-Ah was healthy now, it’s alright to stay outside. Shin-Ah didn’t seem to comfortable around people, and Zeno didn’t like to intrude too.

An-Hi hit him again after his explanation, and said that unless he had decent roof above his head always to screw comfort and find place to stay indoors.  

An-Hi was a strict woman who threats a lot, and she didn’t smile a lot (more like, Shin-Ah didn’t remember ever seeing her smile) but she's kind. In another way than Zeno, he's reminded of Ao. She put dried flowers on Shin-Ah’s pillow and said the scent will help with his nightmares (“to keep you quiet because I need my peace and quiet!”). Zeno gave most of the things he got to her, and she cooked them for him and Shin-Ah. Her cooking tasted good too. Better than Zeno. Probably the salt and other spices she used.

Shin-Ah offered to help her, and she let him follow her around and do the small things he could, before shooing him off after lunch because she said otherwise the children will come to get him and it’ll be noisy and she hated noisiness.

An-Hi made him nervous most of the time, but then again, so was most people and Shin-Ah could honestly say that he liked her too when Zeno asked.

An-Hi lived alone on the outskirt of the village. She said she preferred it that way, although Shin-Ah couldn’t understand why. People came a lot to her though, a fact that she didn’t like so much. They gave her things, and she threw them bags of herbs in exchange.

Mostly to their heads.

She had amazing aim despite her complains that her eyes were getting bad, like Ao did. Her strength wasn’t something to ridicule too.

“She’s a pharmacist. She knows about medicine even more than Zeno does. It’s her job to prepare medicines for people. Well, it’s true she doesn’t like having to do it though.”

Zeno said it’s because she always prayed for people’s health and well-being, and she’s cranky all the time because there’s always a reason for her to keep making medicines. She felt ignored by the gods, Zeno said.

An-Hi hit him again when he laughed at his own explanation and said that Zeno’s an idiot.

“… that’s not it.”

When winter came, there’s not much to do. The garden and field were covered in snow and everything was white. No greens in sight, and so the farmers went to the forest to hunt instead. Zeno said he’s weak though, so he didn’t join them.

An-Hi rolled her eyes and pointed him to the river and told him to fish then. Zeno did. Sometimes he’d bring back rabbits or birds too. The cold kept them from going bad for some time, so he didn’t go out every day. Which was good, he said, because he’d missed spending time with Shin-Ah.

He’d missed him too. Zeno’s stories and weirdness and everything, despite it being so cold and he hated cold, he was glad for it. The children too seemed happy that Zeno could join them again sometimes.

But really, it was cold.

The air was colder than ever, and the day was short. The children liked to play in the snow, but Shin-Ah didn’t even though he could force himself and he did feel warmer after he moved a lot, but the sun set too quickly. Shin-Ah mostly spent the night curling up near the hearth, shivering. Zeno liked to hold him, and said he’s warm even though he was freezing and Zeno’s touch felt warm to him. An-Hi gave him warm herbal drinks which warmed him a lot too, and when he was particularly cold even when Zeno was there holding him, it was her who wrapped them in extra blankets.

It was cold, and yet he felt as warm as he could be.

It’s hard to explain. Shin-Ah was confused too.

The scent of dried flowers, the warmth, the crackling on the hearth… even though Shin-Ah used to hate winter, he couldn’t even force himself to wish for spring to come quickly.

It was another happy day, and Shin-Ah closed his eyes feeling content as always.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

That day, Shin-Ah woke up in the middle of the night. Zeno who was supposed to sleep with him wasn't there, and he felt cold despite Ao’s fur and the layers of blanket. He could hear his voice though, so he wasn't too anxious about it. And he did sleep earlier than usual that day due to fatigue.

"How long are you planning to stay?"

An-Hi sounded as curt and annoyed as always, and even though Shin-Ah had his eyes closed, he could imagine her glaring at Zeno like always as she sew the clothes Shin-Ah tore during his practice earlier. His laugh confirmed it.

"Hm... I wonder... Shin-Ah seems to like it here."

Yeah, Shin-Ah thought. He really liked it there.

It’s warm and everyone was kind and warm too. It’s so different than his old village. Zeno often talked about heaven, a happy place above the sky for good people. Shin-Ah didn’t think he was good, he’s a monster, but sometimes he wondered if heaven would feel like what he’s feeling.

"How surprising. So you're staying with him?"

There was a pause, and then…

 “I don’t know. Should I?”

Zeno’s answer snapped him awake from his haze.

"You know, An-Hi... I’ve promised a lot of things to him. To be there when he wakes up, to not leave him alone, among other things. Those I can do. Books and sweets, I can give him those too, given time. His true wish though... Even though I know he can't have it with me present, I stupidly promised him on a whim. Settling down, what was I thinking? I can’t do that."

"And?"

"And I've lied and broken a lot of promises."

...huh?

What... What's he saying?

"To Guen and the others, to Kaya... And to you too. I think, another one won’t make any difference."

"You're a coward after all. Your words worth nothing. As proof, here you are. Even though you promised you wouldn’t return anymore."

"Yeah. I know. I’m sorry, it’s been so long so I thought you’ve returned to heaven now. And, as for Shin-Ah, for so many times already now, I've thought of leaving without him."

“You can’t stay anywhere after all.”

“If I do try, you’ve seen what happens. I’m an oddity even among the dragons after all.”

“Cowardly you don’t want to take the risks. As expected.”

 “Yeah. Right now, I wonder why though. Shin-Ah will definitely hate me after this, but…”

The crackling from the hearth and the hissing of strong winter wind outside were the only thing Shin-Ah could hear for what seemed like eternity, until An-Hi heaved an exasperated sounding sigh and made him flinch from surprise.

"So you’ve decided. I pity him."

"... I feel bad for him too. I'm sorry to have to bother you longer. I'll leave when it’s a bit warmer. It’s almost spring after all. I've collected enough money for a while too."

"Don't come back."

"I'll try to not bother you again."

What... What were they saying?

Zeno's... Leaving? Breaking his promise?

He didn’t mind that. Zeno could break everything. He wouldn’t mind not tasting honeyed milk, or looking at pretty pictures, or finding out how to make candies… and new clothes too, he didn’t need them.

Just…

When Zeno settled next to him for the night, Shin-Ah used all his strength to press himself against Zeno and held him as tight as he could.

“Shin-Ah? What’s wrong?”

“…”

“Did you have nightmare again? It’s alright, it’s alright. Zeno’s here. You’re not alone, and soon in the dream too, you won’t be alone. ”

Shin-Ah shook his head. It’s something Zeno said a lot after he told him that he’s ‘Shin-Ah’. He said, the name wasn’t something he thought up. It’s something a precious someone gave him in a now impossible future, as seen in a dream most likely shown by Ao.

Zeno said she’ll come to him in the dream, and in reality he’ll wait for her together with Shin-Ah. He wanted to meet her as much as Shin-Ah did after all.

No matter what, she’ll definitely come for him. Zeno guaranteed it.

And Zeno will protect him and her and everyone else too.

It’s what he said, but…

“Shin-Ah…?”

Shin-Ah had decided.

Zeno had given him so much. More than what he ever wanted, more than he thought he deserved. The dream-like wonderful reality he’s currently living was thanks to Zeno. That’s why, he thought he had to get even with him. He had to give as much as Zeno had given him at least.

That’s why, he’d do anything he asked.

He wouldn’t defy him. He wouldn’t refuse him. He'd do anything. He would accept anything.

He’d also let go of anything.

That’s why, he couldn’t say anything.

* * *

Without Zeno, he wondered if he’d wake up.

* * *

“Shin-Ah~ Where are you? Let’s play!”

Shin-Ah could hear the voice of a young girl faintly. An-Hi’s yells too. The young girl, Areum, laughed and apologized to her before running to where he was as told by An-Hi, her light steps echoed in sync with Shin-Ah’s fast heartbeat and ragged breaths.

Shin-Ah put his blade back to his sash.

“Shin-Ah, there you are! What are you doing? Everyone is waiting for- Oh my, still practicing in this hour? Without Zeno? So unlike you, Shin-Ah.”

Shin-Ah practicing the art of sword, it’s quite well known. At first, everyone was surprised. An-Hi was so angry when she found out that the whole village came to see what’s wrong.

“Letting a kid who could barely walk hold sharp things, you really want to be fried gecko aren’t you?!”

It took a while for Zeno to convince her that he’s not making Shin-Ah do it, and it’s important for Shin-Ah, and he’s always making sure that he stayed safe, and Shin-Ah too, begged her to let him do it and An-Hi only resignedly told (more like yelled, really) him to do what he liked after that.

“An-Hi, please care for him too if he’s hurt.”

“Like hell I will!”

Zeno had sighed and pat him after that.

“So she says. Forgive her, Shin-Ah. Ao and her, they have different things in mind even though both want you to be safe.”

Shin-Ah couldn’t understand what An-Hi thought, why she against him practicing, but he decided to practice only when Zeno’s there. Because, that way, it’d ease her mind. Zeno swore that he’s making sure of that after all.

But, really.

Sword practice was calming.

The way his bells would rang at the slightest movement, it’s as if Ao was there teaching him. Although lately, the voices in his mind weren’t only Ao’s. He could hear Zeno’s encouragement too.

That’s why, even though Zeno wasn’t there…

“Shin-Ah?”

He flinched and looked up to the taller girl. Areum was putting her hands on her hips and raised her eyebrows questioningly.

“What’s wrong? You seem troubled.”

Shin-Ah shook his head, and took steps back because Areum was narrowing her eyes now and leaning forward until her face was inches apart from his.

“Shin-Ah, you know, we’ve never said this before, but you’re actually pretty expressive for someone with his face covered who barely says a thing.”

“… huh?”

“It’s true. When you’re confused, your mouth would open slightly. When you’re surprised, you’d flinch and squeak sometimes too. When you’re agitated, I can see your teeth gritted like this!”

Areum made silly faces as she explained, and Shin-Ah hoped he wasn’t making those faces when he was with the others. Or maybe, it’s alright? Areum and the others, sometimes they’d laugh when they saw him. Shin-Ah couldn’t understand why, but now he knew, he supposed.

If it made them happy, he supposed-

“Yep, like that. You open your mouth slightly. Probably wondering if you really have that quirk, and if that’s a good thing or not?”

It’s like she could read his mind, and Shin-Ah let out a surprised squeak as his thought was cut midline. He covered his mouth then and looked down in embarrassment. Areum snickered in amusement as she stood tall again.

“So, when I came earlier, you were pursing your mouth, like this. And I’ve seen you practice, so I can tell too that you’re not as fluid. Under your mask, I bet you’re squinting your eyes. You’re thinking! Something’s on your mind… and since you’re here without Zeno, could it be about him?”

Shin-Ah nodded hesitantly after few heartbeats. Areum seemed proud of herself.

“Hehe, I have a knack for this. I’m totally winning this game. Anyway, what’s wrong? You can tell big sister all about it~! Me and everyone will help you, leave it to us!”

She said as she walked to the house’s porch and sat there, patting the spot next to her in silent invitation.

Shin-Ah walked to her slowly, fiddling with the hem of his clothes, unsure of the turn of event. Zeno told him to tell him what he wanted a lot, but it’s the first time someone else asked him to do the same.

He swallowed the lump that had formed on his throat, and Areum seemed a bit relieved somehow.

“Hehehe, you swallowed.”

“…?”

“We hope we’re not wrong in this, but Shin-Ah, you don’t smile when you’re happy, you see? You swallow. I don’t know why, but that’s weird. Right now, everyone is trying hard to think up things to make you stop swallowing and smile instead. Because, Shin-Ah, you’re cute, but you’ll definitely be cuter when you smile!”

“…”

“And we might have made a game out of it and whoever can get you to smile first will get to pick the games until next month, but never mind that! Zeno’s not the one suggesting it! And he’s not the one with the best winning chance! Nope, not at all!”

When did he do that? Shin-Ah was always there when he came to the children. How come there’s something he’s not privy to?

“Why are you looking confused like that? I told you, Zeno’s not the one suggesting it, right? Don’t mind, don’t mind!”

Did he… since they’re staying with An-Hi, Shin-Ah only went out after An-Hi told him to, and most of the time the children had started playing. Since when…

“… Zeno, wants me to smile?”

“Everyone wants to. Real smile though, not something you do because you want to, but the smiles you can’t help but to make. But you see, the closest you get to smile, when the edges of your mouth are twitching a bit, is when you’re eating delicious food. An-Hi’s cooking, but Zeno’s the one who gets the ingredients, so… Yeah, he’s winning. But not anymore!”

Areum smiled widely and mischievously, but apparently Shin-Ah’s lack of reaction made her nervous, because she coughed a moment later and changed the subject instead.

“Anyway, what’s up with Zeno? Did he say something?”

“… not… to me…”

“To An-Hi then? Shin-Ah, I know you have good ears, but eavesdropping isn’t nice. Because most of the time, you’ll end up misunderstanding everything. So, this time too, most likely it’s wrong. Have you asked Zeno about it?”

Shin-Ah shook his head.

“Ah, you should. You totally should. Then you’ll feel better too. When you’re better, then Zeno and An-Hi and everyone else will feel better too!”

“… huh? Zeno and everyone… feeling bad?”

“Well he wasn’t smiling when I saw him heading to the river earlier, and An-Hi letting you practice on your own is weird too. And I’m worried of you, so everyone else too should be too. So, yeah. Zeno is the most bothered though, I think. I’m surprised you didn’t notice it. Your eyes are even better than your ears, right?”

His hands went to his mask before he realized it, and he looked away from Areum.

“Shin-Ah?”

“My eyes… not good…”

“Of course they are. How many times do you think we’ve played together? We’ve seen what you can do. You have the best eyes ever. It’s almost as if you can see through things.”

Shin-Ah shook his head repeatedly on denial, his bells louder than ever.

“No… not good.”

Areum stayed quiet for a while.

“Sorry, Shin-Ah. I won’t say anything about it again, so…”

“…”

Areum was panicking, Shin-Ah could feel it without having to look at her. The sound of her breathing was enough. She was on the verge of crying herself, even though there’s nothing that should have hurt or scared her.

Shin-Ah lowered his hands and nodded, unable to think up anything to say, or anything else to do.

“I see… Uhm, I better get back to everyone. Come join us if you’d like, Shin-Ah. We’ll be waiting.”

She said with seemingly forced smile before running away. An-Hi for once, didn’t yell at her despite her noise.

After a while, Shin-Ah stood up from the porch and shook his head repeatedly.

The sound of bells echoed in the deafening silence.


	3. Chapter 3

Because Areum said everyone is waiting, Shin-Ah decided to go see them. Areum was feeling bad too, so he hoped he can show her that he’s really fine and there’s nothing to worry about. And about the smile she and everyone else wanted to see… Yeah, Shin-Ah decided to try to show them.

Like Zeno and everyone, pulling the edges of his mouth upwards. Until his teeth and fangs visible. Relaxing his eyes and everything else, although perhaps it’s a moot point since he’s wearing a mask.

Or maybe not…?

Zeno said his eyes were the prettiest. Zeno seemed very happy whenever he saw his eyes. If it’s Zeno, it’ll be fine, Shin-Ah thought. He said, Shin-Ah’s eye power wouldn’t work on him because he’s Ouryuu. He’s sturdier than anything, so he wouldn’t die from it or anything else.

Shin-Ah didn’t want to hurt him though. Even if Zeno wouldn’t die, he’d still be hurt.

He didn’t like taking it off because of it, but he could tough it out for couple seconds, he thought. Hopefully it’d be enough. Focus on the medallion, don’t think about hearts at all. And also, avoid eye contact.

Hopefully, Zeno would be happy.

Hopefully…

He gasped and shook his head. No, he wouldn’t go there. Zeno, from the start he’d said that he couldn’t stay long in one place. It’s only because of what Shin-Ah told him, that he wanted friends, that Zeno even considered settling down. Which means, he’d been forcing himself all this time, and Zeno forcing himself wasn’t something Shin-Ah wanted.

It’s alright, it’s alright…

“Shin-Ah.”

An-Hi called him before he could go out the door.

“The village is noisier than usual. The peddlers have come, I think.”

Every few months, a group of peddlers would come to the village. They’d bring news and stuffs from all over Kouka. The villagers would trade some of their harvest for money and things, and they’d also ask a lot about what’s going on outside the village. Mostly about what’s going on in Chishin.

A lot of people were fans of Lee Geun-Tae, and apparently so were the peddlers.

That’s mostly why, there’s excitement whenever they came.

At least, that’s what Shin-Ah had gathered. Shin-Ah had never seen them before after all. When he first arrived with Zeno, the peddlers had just left.

An-Hi said she hated them. The peddlers would come to her house every time because she’s one of their medicine providers, and they’d trade her medicines with money and other necessities, and although the villagers wouldn’t come with them and it’s less noisy than in the place they open shop, they’re apparently annoying chatterboxes who couldn’t stop talking and read her mood.

That’s why, she gave Shin-Ah a bag of her medicines and list of things she needed. She said it’s their usual order, but if they wanted more then he might have to go back and forth because if possible, she didn’t want to see them at all.

“Haggle and get as much as you can. I’m leaving it to you. Also, get some sweets or something. I don’t know what brats like you like though.”

She said dismissively, and Shin-Ah nodded in understanding despite his confusion.

An-Hi was being weird, just as Areum had said. She’d never liked him practicing his sword. Usually, she’d complain about it everytime he finished. Shin-Ah had been practicing since morning, and yet in the end she didn’t say anything. Rather, she even told him to get sweets for himself.

Areum said everyone was worried about him, An-Hi included. That’s bad.

He was wondering what he could do to make An-Hi stop worrying as he walked towards the village’s center, where he’d been told the peddlers usually set up shop, when his ears picked up footsteps.

Fast… someone was running towards him…

He looked ahead and saw Chi-Hu.

“Shin-Ah! Don’t move!”

He yelled, and Shin-Ah was too surprised to question him. He’d stopped from just the sight of the ten year old, and his eyes trying to register the oddity of what he’s seeing.

Chi-Hu was running, his face pale and his pupils were constricted and his teeth were gritted… he’s panicking… and he grabbed Shin-Ah’s hand so suddenly that he dropped the bag of medicines and Shin-Ah couldn’t help but to feel anxious too.

“What’s… what’s wrong?”

“The peddlers! They’re saying weird things! An-Hi’s house… no, they’ll go there too…”

He stopped and looked around frantically, he’s barely breathing and he’s biting his lip, like he’d always do when he’s agitated. When their gazes met, he smiled.

Even though his eyes were hard and narrowed, he’s definitely smiling.

“ Shin-Ah, we’re playing a game, you understand? It’s hide and seek. You’re our best seeker after all, even if you suck in hiding. I want you to find Zeno, can you do that? I want you to hide with him in the forest until sunset. Do you understand, Shin-Ah?”

Too confused and surprised to question him, Shin-Ah nodded.

“A… ah, but An-Hi’s order…”

Shin-Ah glanced at the bag lying few feet away, and Chi-Hu tightened his grip.

“Ah, you’re on errand? Sorry, I made you drop them. I’ll get them back to An-Hi, don’t worry. Just…”

His face became paler, and the hand that’s holding Shin-Ah’s hand was shaking.

“I’ll explain to An-Hi. She won’t yell at you, I promise. Just… Shin-Ah…”

He pleaded silently, nearly bursting to tears, and Shin-Ah nodded again before going to where he knew Zeno was.

Zeno was upstream.

He knew.

Zeno once said that he could always feel Shin-Ah, but Shin-Ah just noticed recently that he’d always been able to feel him too. He could tell whenever Zeno’s moving, and he could tell where he was before his eyes could find him too.

Looking back, Chi-Hu had taken the bag of medicines and was running towards An-Hi’s house. Pale, lip bitten, frantic…

Shin-Ah forced himself to run faster.

What’s going on?

* * *

Shin-Ah’s been weird since last night, and Zeno didn’t know why.

Even though he’d seem more comfortable with his new life with Zeno and everyone else, suddenly he seemed tense like when he first arrived in the village. Well, to think of it, he didn’t seem as nervous with others like An-Hi or her patients, but he seemed as reluctant to see Zeno off.

Zeno sat on the rock, one hand on his chin and the other on his fishing rod as he thought what could be the cause of it. Shin-Ah’s a quiet child, and if he said things it’s mostly when he’s euphoric from all the fun he’d had with the children. Sometimes when he had to speak to respond to words, if gestures failed him. Nightmares and other worries, Shin-Ah rarely told him stuffs like that. Almost never even. The only time he’s like that was when he was sick before they reached the village. Zeno would like it if Shin-Ah said more of what’s in his mind, but he didn’t want Shin-Ah to be sick too.

What to do… He’s not used to really care for children. Back then with Yakshi, there were the Queen, his friends and the servants. In his long life too, all of the children he’d met had their own guardians. And with Kaya, one of the reasons she agreed to marry him was because he managed to assure her that he wanted nothing more than to be with her forever.

No kids.

Zeno sighed.

Really though, Shin-Ah really reminded him of Kaya.

He looked up and laughed sheepishly.

“Sorry, Abi. Not that I don’t see the resemblance really. He has your eyes. No, not because you’re both Seiryuu. The look he gave me whenever he’s doubting me, that’s your look. But, maybe it’s because of his circumstances, I guess? He’s like quiet less upbeat version of Kaya.”

Kaya too, feared for everyone. Her body was like that, just by living she’s risking everyone, so she chose to be alone. Shin-Ah too, after what happened in his village seemed to rather live alone, fearing himself just as Kaya had feared herself.

Kaya… he couldn’t do much for her, but to Shin-Ah at least, he wanted to do everything he could to make him happy. 

An-Hi’s words resounded in his mind, and Zeno shook his head.

“… no, he’s not my kid. Saying things like that, it’s insulting to him, you see…”

It’s so not funny, even as a joke Zeno couldn’t accept it.

Shin-Ah deserved someone who really cared for him, who would do anything to keep him safe and happy and always be there for him. Zeno, he couldn’t do that. He’d known what would make him happy, but…

He couldn’t do it. Be by his side, always, it’s impossible.

He had to leave.

He wondered how to tell Shin-Ah about it. Yeah, it’s bad to just leave suddenly. It’ll hurt him a lot more too. Shin-Ah had to be told in advance, and spring was coming soon in couple weeks. It’s a good time to start travelling again.

“Wait, what am I thinking? Too? How conceited…”

His reflection on the flowing river was smiling back at him, like always.

Right. Zeno’s used to it. Shin-Ah’s still small after all, and it’s not like they’d spent lots of time together. They only met at night, after Zeno returned from work and errands, and Shin-Ah was usually barely conscious from fatigue.

He’s still small.

He’s still forgetful.

And after months in this village, Zeno’s existence had become less significant to him, surely. He said once, if Zeno’s not there, he wouldn’t know what to do, but now he’d done lots of things on his own.

It wouldn’t hurt him, not one bit. And, about Zeno, he’d forget completely in no time.

Just like how he’d forgotten about their first meeting.

“Well, if he’s a bit hurt, maybe I’ll be happier though.”

As soon as the words escaped his lips, Zeno regretted it. He let go of his rod, clasped his hands together and lowered his head.

“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t mean it, so please don’t get mad at me! Abi, Ao, everyone else who might curse me for this from heaven, I’m really-”

He stopped and turned downstream, faint voice stopping his train of thoughts.

“… no… Zeno…!”

Shin-Ah? Wait, why’s he here? An-Hi said he couldn’t go near the forest and river without an adult present, in fear of him encountering wild beasts, and who in their right mind would take a four year old with them?

A certain someone appeared in his mind, and Zeno decided he’d offer something to his name later to make up for the insult.

Zeno stood up and ran to meet Shin-Ah midway. It’s wrong, Shin-Ah shouldn’t be here, and if he decided to come get Zeno on his own account that means something must have gone wrong.

Shin-Ah seemed fine. He’d stopped and was catching his breath when Zeno found him. He knelt down and did a body check. He didn’t seem hurt, and his presence felt fine too. But, he’s shaken. He’s trembling slightly.

“What happened?”

“Uhm… I… I was told to find you… and hide with you…”

“Who said it? Was it An-Hi?”

Shin-Ah shook his head and looked down. His voice breaking.

“An-Hi… asked me to go to the peddlers… and Chi-Hu said… I should hide… it’s a game… the peddlers… said weird things… they’ll come to An-Hi too, so I… can’t go back… yet…”

“Chi-Hu told you to hide from the peddlers?”

He nodded after a moment, seemingly confused and a bit frightened.

“What’s… wrong…? Why must… I hide? Chi-Hu didn’t say… What the peddlers are saying… he didn’t say… but… if I have to hide… then, it’s about me… right?”

“…”

“Zeno… will… it be… like before?”

Like the first village they visited.

People from Seiryuu Village had arrived first, and spread the lies and fear in their wake. Soldiers were killed, the culprit was a monster child who hide his cursed eyes with a mask. Soon, more would definitely come. Hearing such things, people of that village became distrustful.

Such village wouldn’t accept Shin-Ah.

No, they didn’t.

Even though Shin-Ah wasn’t wearing his mask when he entered the village, and was pretending to be asleep all the while in Zeno’s arms, people passing by gave them odd look and whispered their suspicion clearly.

Shin-Ah was too distraught from having to uncover his eyes to notice, but he’d understood from the start that he couldn’t stay among them. They would want him away, just like people of Seiryuu Village, and what good would it be to stay when in the first place he wanted to avoid things like that?

When he first came too, Shin-Ah’s concern was about whether the villager had heard about him or not. Thankfully, they hadn’t, but now…

Zeno held his shoulders and squeezed.

“Don’t worry. Zeno will be with you, if it comes to that.”

He looked up, seemingly about to say something with the way he opened and closed his mouth, before looking down and nodded, his bells ringing with his movement.

Zeno sincerely hoped it didn’t have to come to that.


	4. Chapter 4

Shin-Ah just sat on the rock while hugging himself, like he’s trying to be as small as possible. He didn’t say a thing, With his mask, it’s hard to tell, but he seemingly just stared at the flowing river. Unmoving and silent, just like statue.

When sun set, he stood up and told Zeno that he wanted to go back. Chi-Hu only told him to hide until sunset, and he believed the older boy.

Zeno held his hand on the way back, just like they used to do all the time before they came to this village (when he wasn’t carrying him, that was). Shin-Ah’s hand was cold and Zeno wasn’t sure it’s because of the winter air.

Not good. This had to be settled immediately.

An-Hi seemed like she was worried too. She took Shin-Ah to his usual spot near the hearth and wrapped him in blankets as usual. She also gave him her herbal tea, as usual. Shin-Ah held the glass  with trembling hands.

She told Zeno then, what happened, before leaving the house to give him and Shin-Ah some alone time they both needed.

Chi-Hu had come and told her the gist of it. He was surprised and confused and was obviously panicking, so it didn’t really get through her. When the peddlers came to her house though, and told her the same story they’d told everyone, An-Hi understood.

“The peddlers told everyone, that about two weeks away from here, corpses of the missing troop had been found.”

Months before, in summer, a troop was dispatched to investigate the rumor of a secret village guarded by a monstrous warrior with demonic eyes who can turn anything he sees to stone.

They didn’t come for the warrior, they came because of the village itself. An unknown village not charted in the map, never visited by officials. No tax had been taken from the village, despite it being located in Earth Tribe region.

Naturally they thought it had to be fixed.

Tens soldiers came first to anticipate the supposedly strong warrior, and yet they never returned.

After thorough search, they were found already as decaying corpses, and the village which located near them had been abandoned.

Naturally, the officers thought that the rumored warrior was the killer.

Even so, curiously, in the surrounding villages, the rumors were different. It’s said that the one who killed the soldiers wasn’t a warrior. Instead, it was a child.

A boy who had inherited the warrior’s demonic eyes, which he covered with a mask.

Such was the story the peddlers told everyone.

Of course, those who heard immediately thought of Shin-Ah. Masked people weren’t that unusual in Earth Tribe, performers wore mask all the time, but of course…

It couldn’t be helped. Shin-Ah was suspicious from the start. He was so adamant about not letting his eyes shown after all. He wouldn’t tell why he chose travelling with Zeno instead of staying in his home village after all, despite being so young. Zeno had made up excuses, but as expected…

Even so, hearing An-Hi’s explanation made Zeno felt relieved, to be honest.

Shin-Ah did kill those soldiers. It’s the truth, so if those who heard decided to do whatever they do to criminals here to Shin-Ah, they’re justified to do so. Shin-Ah wouldn’t protect himself too, he still felt guilty over it. He’d accept whatever he was condemned to.

And Zeno wouldn’t be able to do anything until it’s too late.

Zeno put his hands on Shin-Ah’s head and ruffled his hair.

“… you have good friends, Shin-Ah.”

Shin-Ah turned to him and opened his mouth seemingly to say something, but words didn’t come out.

Tears did.

“A…ah… aah…”

Zeno took his glass from him before pulling him into a hug. The young dragon screamed into Zeno’s chest, hands tightly clutching his clothes. Zeno let him. He’d been holding it in since afternoon.

Shin-Ah didn’t even react when An-Hi told the reason why Chi-Hu told him to run and hide.

He didn’t react even though An-Hi was clearly saying the whole village knew now that he was the cause of the death of soldiers.

He just sat there looking at the blazing fire at hearth, unmoving besides the slight trembling of his hands.

He’d known. From the beginning, Zeno had realized. Shin-Ah was broken. Everything that had happened in his short life was too much for him, and in the end, it made him closed off his heart. Children were the most expressive creature, and yet Shin-Ah could barely show a thing.

It’s all or nothing with him now.

Aaah… even though he might be able to show more if only he had a bit more time…

What a thing to happen after all this time…

Zeno waited until he calmed down, until all the tension had left his small body. Shin-Ah was still sniffling though, just like when he was seeing his nightmares. Perhaps he was, Zeno wasn’t sure. Shin-Ah had had trouble discerning dream from reality, his nightmares too vivid and scary and his guilt made him believed that he deserved them even though he didn’t.

“… Shin-Ah, it’s alright. I’ll make sure of it. So, don’t worry about a thing.”

He said after he’d put Shin-Ah down in his futon, covering him with Ao’s things because Zeno knew only Ao could calm him right then.

He heard him apologizing and asking him to not leave him, just like when he was talking in his sleep after he fainted after killing the soldiers, and Zeno smiled sadly. That’s a request he wouldn’t be able to fulfill. Raising the dead was impossible after all.

 (Zeno knew. He’d checked. There was a time he wished to revive everyone dear to him, perhaps by using something only he as the incarnation of Ouryuu could provide. He gave up after few hundred years.)

He murmured an apology before leaving the house. An-Hi was on her garden, just looking up to the starry sky. She turned to him when he stepped to the snow-covered pathway.

“How surprising. You’re really bothered, aren’t you?”

Zeno just stared at the seemingly older woman.

“The old you wouldn’t be showing that kind of scary face. You’ve changed.”

“… I  haven’t. I _can’t_ change. Ouryuu isn’t allowed to.”

An-Hi snorted.

“The heartless bastard I met seventy years ago wouldn’t be murderous just because of one crying child. Hell, _nothing_ could make you look like you are now. That kid might be Seiryuu, but you’ve seen countless dragons like him fall into despair.”

Zeno narrowed his eyes but said nothing.

It’s true.

For years, he’d watched over the dragons. Watching and only that, never approaching, never interfering. He’d planned on doing that too, this time. But, Shin-Ah somehow able to woke a part of him he thought had died long time ago along with people he held dear.

Just by existing.

So easily, without having to do anything nor say anything, he’s reminded of Abi. His words and everything else reminded him of Kaya. He’s the first link he had to Hiryuu too, and before that he had a feeling that Shin-Ah would be his link to Ryokuryuu and Hakuryuu.

 “The old you would just smile and laugh this thing off. You wouldn’t feel anything, and thus would do nothing. What happened to that child affects you, and it’s surprising. You’ve gained heart.”

“…”

“No, I suppose… your heart has just awakened. Feelings roused by shadows, I’m guessing? Yes, it’d be so very you to want to be near those people again. Who can you see in him? Seiryuu, obviously. But not only him…”

“He’s similar to Kaya in some ways.”

“Of course. I should have known. That’s why you’re acting like doting parent. Cut it out with the delusion. Like I said, keep on telling yourself that he’s not your kid.”

An-Hi said as she walked inside briskly.

“… I’ve been doing it this whole time.”

“Try harder.”

She said snappily before closing her door and leaving Zeno alone outside. Zeno raised his scarf until it covered half his face, and breathed into it. White mist was formed due to the cold.

“If only you hadn’t said a thing, An-Hi…”

* * *

Zeno went to the Chief’s place, where he knew the peddlers were staying before departing from the village in the morning. He touched his face and made sure the scary face An-Hi mentioned wasn’t there.

Right. To smile is easy.

He’s broken in different ways than Shin-Ah after all.

And so he knocked.

The one who opened the door was the Chief himself. He seemed surprised and troubled to see Zeno, and faintly the dragon could hear voices unfamiliar to him, laughing merrily as they talked to the Chief’s family.

“Zeno… why-“

“An-Hi forgot to buy some miso.”

Of course it’s a lie, and apparently even the Chief could see that. Zeno’s not used to lie despite his true age, since he found unclear truths fool better than his lies back in his happy and oblivious days, but he never thought that just for a simple one he’d be that obvious. He closed the door and grabbed Zeno’s arm to lead him further from his house. This is bad. Was it that obvious, was his smile really that unnatural?

“Zeno, what are you planning really?”

Zeno sighed. Apparently it was very unnatural.

“Gather information. I need to know exactly what to expect so I can handle it for Shin-Ah.”

Zeno said, deciding to be blunt for once in a very long time. To deny would only complicate things. The Chief seemed to relax a bit, and Zeno wondered if he’d expected him to come to kill them or something.

That’s bad. Just what sort of impression had he been giving to these people?

“For Shin-Ah… Anyone who has seen him would certainly suspect him. You wish to handle it?”

“Yes. I’ll leave on spring, and do something about it. Of course, I don’t have anything planned yet, not when I know so little of the situation. What town the troop was from… what are they planning to do about Shin-Ah… is there a bounty on him or stuffs, and who spread the rumor about him. There’re a lot of things I need to know.”

Although Zeno could guess who spread the rumors. Really, until the end they’re very troublesome bunch. They're really asking for it...

“… I see. And what of Shin-Ah?”

“If possible, I want to leave him with An-Hi. But, I’m taking him with me if he can’t stay. I asked him to go with me so that he can find a place he could belong, and I’m not leaving him before that.”

The silent question was not unheard.

The Chief looked down, seemingly deep in thought.

“… you’re asking me as the Chief,” he said with humorless smile. “Really, sometimes I hate having this position. An-Hi is better suited. If it’s her, she’d be able to give clear answer without a doubt. Well, no matter. It’s on me. After this, I’ll let you ask all you want to the peddlers, but will you tell me what really happened? Why Shin-Ah killed those soldiers? To decide, I need information too.”

“…  how?“

“Zeno, you’re too calm. Well, not really calm per se… How should I put it? You’re angered, true, but you don’t seem surprised.”

An-Hi was right… maybe? Had he changed?

Because of Shin-Ah. Because he’d awakened something in him he thought had died thousands of years ago…

“He, Shin-Ah, didn’t know any better.”

Zeno said finally.

“To live, he has to fight. To protect, he has to fight. His guardian only taught him that, because it’s what he only knew as well. That’s why, when the soldiers came to his village, and Shin-Ah thought that he had to protect the village, he went and kill them.”

The Chief stayed silent. He didn’t ask the how, so Zeno didn’t tell him.

“It’s not a matter of right or wrong. Perhaps, everything would be better if he didn’t kill those soldiers. Perhaps, he should have just hid himself and avoid them. To live and to protect, it’s true that one way to do those is to fight and kill. But, Shin-Ah didn’t… doesn’t know that he has other means to stay alive and to protect those dear to him. He did what he thought was necessary. That’s it. ”

The Chief frowned, as if he was confused, and Zeno couldn’t blame him. Why a child as young as him had to fight in the first place, even if it’s to protect his home, was unthinkable. He just shrugged and tried to put the knowledge he had from years of observation into words.

“To belong, he has to kill. It’s what living in his old village had taught him and his guardian and everyone who came before him. Even so, he himself knows that the act of killing itself isn’t acceptable, that no one would come near him because he can kill. It’s complicated, but that’s how it was before he came with me.”

“… you mean to say that he’s a child soldier who only knows to kill.”

Zeno nodded in confirmation.

“Of course, he’s not killing indiscriminately. To live and to protect, those are his reasons. And he regretted killing those soldiers. He’s broken enough due to it. Despite everything, Shin-Ah is a child with good heart after all.”

Although, what he regretted wasn’t killing those soldiers. Using the power his beloved person told him not to, to feel the joy on the forbidden thing, and to want to use it on those he’s supposed to protect…

He’s becoming the very person he’s told to kill, and it scared him.

It broke him.

The fact that he had no one to help him get through it with Ao dead didn’t help.

The act of killing itself though… it seemed like Shin-Ah didn’t thought much of it.

To use his eyes would make him bad, so he didn’t want to use them ever again. He’d use sword, just as Ao told him. That’s it. About robbing people of their lives itself, he didn’t seem to see it as bad thing.

Just… he couldn’t do it to good people. Only to bad people. His power was bad because it made him want to kill good people too, so he shouldn't ever use it again and use his sword instead.

That kind of thinking was often believed by adults. For a child like Shin-Ah to already thought of it was weird and wrong and saddening. About killing, about fighting… a child like him shouldn’t have to thought about it.

“Chief. He’s not in the wrong. And I can guarantee he won’t do this village harm. If he’s at fault, then I’ll apologize in his stead. If he’s to be punished, then I don’t mind receiving it in for him. Just…”

Zeno bowed down.

“Please. Let him stay here.”

Please, let me grant him at least this much.

* * *

 

Until spring, until the snow melts and the birds started singing again, there was only two weeks.

Two weeks until it's time to part.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Thousands of years ago, Zeno fought.

It’s not a matter of right or wrong. If seen from others’ point of view, what he did was certainly wrong. When he looked back, he thought that he’s wrong too, most of the time. Still, he fought because he couldn’t think of anything else to do about the problem he was facing.

To protect, one didn’t have to fight, but Zeno couldn’t think of another way.

His mind wouldn’t allow him to think of another way.

So for years, he fought alone.

Even though Hiryuu told him not to, he did anyway after the Red King passed. To protect the things Hiryuu loved, he fought. Despite the pain, he kept on fighting.

Along the way, he lost himself. His reluctance to kill couldn’t be found again, when he realized it. He’d changed, broken, and had become a true monster.

In the end, as expected, he realized that he shouldn’t have fought.

It’s wrong, and it only caused the problem to get worse.

That’s why, he accepted the depressing conclusion he himself reached. He couldn’t stay, he had to leave. He mustn’t fight anymore, no matter how fulfilling it felt.

And so he left.

Long after that, he found himself feeling glad that he did.

That’s why…

* * *

Zeno blamed An-Hi. She’s definitely been doing it on purpose.

Telling him to not think of Shin-Ah as his child only reminded him of his time in Hiryuu Castle thousands of years ago.

Yakshi felt inadequate, and Zeno told him to not worry.

“You’re like your father in so many ways.”

Children would be similar to their parents. At least, their guardians. The people they grew up with, whom they looked up to. That, Zeno was sure. They couldn’t be anything else. Children would always strive to be like that after all.

Hiryuu died early, so he didn’t know what he thought. He and Kaya didn’t have children too. But, sometimes Zeno wondered if the reverse was true too. If a guardian could only see themselves in their care.

See the mistakes they’ve done and strived to prevent their beloved care from doing them. The shadow of themselves guiding them on how to guide their care.

Abi and Kaya were the ones Zeno could see in Shin-Ah, until he met An-Hi and she started telling him nonsense that was.

He’d been hoping he could think like that again.

It’s just delusion, he’d been telling himself.

Him thinking that he could see himself in Shin-Ah, it’s just his sick delusion and it’s insulting to Shin-Ah. Such kind and warm child, Shin-Ah was so unlike him. Honestly, the least connection people could make between him and Shin-Ah the better it'd be.

Shin-Ah couldn't be his child. Shin-Ah deserved better than to be associated with him in such way.

Even so, he still wished to take care of Shin-Ah and give him lots of things.

He’d promised lots of things, but what Shin-Ah wanted and needed the most was company.

And Zeno planned on making it possible for him.

He did, that’s why he chose to leave in the first place. His body would only cause troubles, and Shin-Ah didn’t need more troubles. He’d experience more than he should have in his lifetime. The least Zeno could do was to leave him after Shin-Ah had found his heaven on earth.

Even so…

“I can’t, Zeno.”

Zeno heard him but stayed bowing anyway.

He’d expected this to happen. He dreaded it so much he felt a bit nauseous, but he’d really expected Shin-Ah to be rejected. Since Hiryuu’s time dragons had always been related to misfortune after all.

They’re dragons, it’s no wonder they’re suffering, just like him. Such thought came to him from time to time as he watched over generations of dragons, but for the moment the thought only made him sick.

But… Right, Abi once said so too. To have a wish granted, they had to give up something in return. Such was the rule of the world. Their blessings too, came with a price. Shin-Ah wasn’t an original, but apparently such rule applied to him too.

Him and every other Seiryuu who came before him.

In exchange of leaving his home, he’s not allowed to settle anywhere.

Apparently, such was the exchange demanded of him.

And in extension, he wouldn’t be able to be near the friends he’d made. 

What luck… What a thing to happen when Shin-Ah’s already so close to recover… And the rumors being spread by peddlers like this. There’s chance that they’re spreading even in the other regions. The same thing would just happen even if Zeno took him to another place.

No… maybe even worse. He’d be rejected before he could step in.

That's why, this village with its kind people who were willing to protect Shin-Ah was their best bet. That's why...

 “… that child, do you not want to be with him that much?”

The sudden question surprised him and Zeno almost screamed out the answer.

“Of course I want him! That’s why I asked him to come with me in the first place! It’s just…”

“… just?”

Zeno took a deep breath and let out his answer through gritted teeth.

“What he wants isn’t to be with me.”

The Chief stared at him with unreadable eyes for what felt like an eternity, before he sighed and rubbed the back of his head as if he's finding Zeno's responses to be bothersome and made no sense whatsoever.

“I don’t know what makes you feel like that, but I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding. That child is absolutely attached to you. For a pair that seems so close, you two need to have a proper talk about things. Also, you need to calm down and think things through, Zeno. You have good intension, but you’re being too narrow-minded now. Staying here won’t be in Shin-Ah’s best interest.”

Zeno opened his mouth, about to rebut him, but the seemingly older man raised his hand and stopped him with a stern look.

“Hear me out. Officer and soldiers come here all the time to collect tax and the like. If they spot him, what do you think they’d do? We can hide him, perhaps. But do you think telling him to avoid outsiders, to hide whenever outsider come, will do him good?”

“Also, Zeno, you said so yourself. You promised him a place where he can belong. How can you say he belong here if he’d have to hide all the time? If we’ll have to deny he even exist? I’m sorry I have to put it like this, but he can’t belong here at the moment. Are you planning to leave him despite that?”

The unnexpected reasoning rendered Zeno speechless. The Chief took a step forward and put his hand on Zeno's shoulder. His eyes which looked straight at Zeno's clouded blue were filled with concern.

"Zeno, to him right now, he can only belong with you. Will you reconsider?"

The feeling which suddenly appeared only made Zeno felt even sicker about himself.

* * *

When Shin-Ah woke up, Zeno was sitting next to him. His hand was gentle as he stroked Shin-Ah's hair, and Shin-Ah leaned to his touch on instict.

"You're awake?"

"Mn... "

It's bright. Too bright perhaps. Later than his usual wake up time. Usually, he'd not like it. If he wakes up late, he'd miss helping An-Hi with chores and seeing Zeno off after all. Maybe it's because Zeno's there though, petting him like he's a cat or something. He felt like closing his eyes and go back to sleep.

"You were talking in your sleep. Did you see a nightmare?"

"... I can't remember."

"That's good, I think. Do you feel better?"

"Yeah."

“You’re still sleepy, aren’t you? It’s alright to sleep a bit longer. It’s not like we can go outside for the time being.”

“… they… are they still here?”

“Yeah. They haven’t left. Well, snow piled up suddenly last night, but they’ll probably go at noon. Is it too cold for you? Do you need more blankets?”

“No… it’s fine…”

Shin-Ah said so, despite inching closer to Zeno and seeking his warmth. He gripped the older dragon’s clothes and realized that he was trembling.

It’s not due to the cold, Shin-Ah knew. He was practically under a pile of clothes after all. And Zeno felt warm too.

He’s scared.

How weird. If before, he’d not think much and just go ahead and kill them. Well, Shin-Ah understood though, why Ao told him to kill strangers. In his hidden village, only bad people would come. Only people who knew about him and wanted to harm him would come.

(Zeno was an oddity and outliner and a miracle, and Shin-Ah still couldn’t believe it sometimes that such miracle was allowed for him)

In this village, it’s different.

The peddlers didn’t know anything, and they didn’t mean to harm him too.

Shin-Ah couldn’t find it in him to even want to curse them.

But still, he knew that with them, the rumors about him would spread even more. To think of it, people of this village had heard about him, hadn’t they? They’ve found out about what a monster he was.  

But, Chi-Hu told him to run and hide instead of telling the peddlers about him. An-Hi still wrapped him in blankets and gave him warm drinks. No one had come too, to get him to leave or the like.

They’re weird. Almost as weird as Zeno.

“Shin-Ah, do you like it here?”

“… yeah.”

“Is that so. Yeah. People here are nice bunch, aren’t they? They understand your good points too. Everyone talks a lot about how cute you are, you know?”

“I’m not cute.”

Zeno laughed as always. Even though he didn’t seem like he’s particularly amused, he laughed as always.

“You’ve made good friends, haven’t you, Shin-Ah?”

“Are they… my friends? Won’t they get mad? Since it’s me…”

“What are you saying after all this time? Of course they are. They’ll cry if they heard you say things like that, you know?”

Zeno chided, and hearing him made Shin-Ah felt like crying too, to be honest.

“They’re your friends. They think of themselves as your friend, so you shouldn’t hesitate and think of yourself as their friend too. It’ll make them happy.”

“… alright.”

“That’s great. Come to think of it, your wish came true, isn’t it? Didn’t you tell me you want friends?”

“Yeah. I’m glad.”

He’s really glad.

Later, he’d come to them, to everyone who’d cover for him. He’d thank them properly. If they asked, he’d answer the best he could. He’d tell the truth. It’s the least Shin-Ah felt he should do to them.

Before he leaves, he’d do that.

Unconsciously, he curled on himself.

“… I… have to leave… right?”

Zeno stopped moving for a moment before answering clearly like he’d always do whenever Shin-Ah asked him about things.

“Yeah. I’m sorry. I think the story has spread to the whole Earth Region. Maybe even to the entirety of Kouka, if An-Hi’s opinion is to be believed. You’re wanted, I think. Unlike in your hidden village, officers and soldiers come and go in here to get tax and the like, so we’re advised to go before they come.”

“… it’s not Zeno’s idea?”

“No. I got lectured. Even at this age, I’m still childish and hot-headed, you see? I’d planned on leaving you here with An-Hi, but… yeah. It’s not good for you. An-Hi would hit me if she found out I didn’t change my mind after this development. So close, so close.”

“Zeno still want to leave alone? I… don’t mind… part ways…”

“Hm…? Ah, so you heard me, huh? Well, to tell the truth I still want that. Leaving by myself sounds good, isn’t it? Shin-Ah gets to be with his friends after all. I can’t stay for long after all. I thought that’s one way to keep you happy, since you seem to like it here so much. But leaving you alone, I won’t ever do that. We’ll leave together. I’m sorry. Can you put up with me longer?”

“Ah, I’m fine. I like being with Zeno, but… really? Zeno, doesn’t mind? I’m… wanted. Zeno, to be associated with me, don’t you mind?”

“No. I think it’d be insulting for you, since I’m a no-good person. But… I’d be happy, to be honest. And I do like being with you too.”

“Zeno is a good person. I like Zeno.”

"You put too much trust on me."

Zeno commented, like it's a bad thing. Shin-Ah just shifted though, pressing his masked face to Zeno's thigh. Faintly, there's comforting feel of warm and bright summer.

It's weird. He liked it in the village. He liked everyone too. He knew he'd miss them a whole lot.

It's sad. To have to leave is saddening.

But  for some reason, it's very relieving.

“I’m just glad… you’re not leaving me…”

Shin-Ah wondered if it's because he could see Ao in Zeno sometimes. Back then, he thought that even if he wanted friends, he wouldn't trade Ao for it.

Ao was important. Too important. He didn't think he'd mind not having friends forever, as long as Ao's with him.

Zeno was a bit like Ao, so maybe it's because of that.

Well, Zeno's his own person really. Shin-Ah himself knew that when he thought that Zeno resembled Ao it's most likely only because he's missing Ao too much and got delusional. It's just that sometimes, he said things similar to what Ao had said to Shin-Ah when he was alive.

Although he had to admit the instances were getting rarer these days. The similarity mostly visible when Zeno's angry and he's never angry.

Thank heaven for that.

"I'm glad too. Shin-Ah not objecting to be with me, I’m glad for it too."

"Really?"

“Yeah. I really like being with Shin-Ah too. That’s why, I feel bad. Even though it’s a bad thing, I feel relieved I get to be with you longer. I’m a horrible person.”

Shin-Ah held Zeno’s thigh tightly and murmured against it.

“Not horrible.”

“… only you would say that, you know?”

“Don’t care. Zeno, not horrible. Doesn’t leave me. Saved me. Good person.”

He insisted, because it’s true. When he peeked at Zeno’s face though, he was smiling with a hint of sadness in his clouded blue eyes. He didn’t believe him, Shin-Ah thought. Well, Zeno’s a stubborn person, so it’s not really surprising. And since the beginning, whatever bad thing which happened to Shin-Ah, Zeno always apologized for them like it’s his fault.

 “You know, I-“

“Don’t.”

If he talked more, Shin-Ah felt like Zeno would only blame himself even more.

“Don’t… say anything more… about that, Zeno. Let’s talk about something else.”

“…”

“But, I can’t think of anything. So, Zeno, say something. Let’s talk about the things you usually do in your travel before I came along. Tell me the fun stuff. I… want to know, and… later, let’s do those things together.”

“… fun, before you came along? I don’t think there’s any.”

“Then, let’s plan stuffs together. We did it too, right? What… is our goal from now on? I’ve gotten what I want, right? Then, Zeno, next, let’s go someplace Zeno wants to go to. Ah, before, you mentioned about Ryokuryuu living near here, right? Let’s visit him next. Zeno wants to see him, right?”

“Yeah. To him, I need to pay my respect and apologize too.”

“I’m sure Zeno’s not in the wrong.”

“… what are you saying when you know nothing? Shin-Ah, you think too highly of me, you know?”

“Zeno too, so we’re even.”

Zeno sighed audibly.

“… sorry, Shin-Ah. Give me a moment. Later, I’ll be like usual again, and I’ll talk about anything you want. Just… for now…”

Shin-Ah nodded and kept quiet.

Zeno closed his eyes and seemingly fought with himself, with how tense his muscles were and how his breathing sounded unnatural… His eyes were narrowed too, and he seemed as if he was enduring lot of pain. His hand went to his medallion, which unlike usual was on his neck.

Slowly, but surely though, he seemed returning to his usual relaxed state.

Shin-Ah closed his eyes and waited.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I OVERCAME A BLOCK!  
> Fight a block with a wall.  
> Yes. Good solution.  
> I was worried about how long and boring a thirteen years worth of story will be, but then I read Sinbad's Adventure.  
> Work hard!

It took a while, but just as he said, Zeno regained semblance of his usual self.

The older dragon told Shin-Ah then that sudden parting would be the most painful to everyone, so since they’re in no such hurry, Shin-Ah had to tell everyone about him leaving. Shin-Ah however, knew himself that it’d still be painful, for himself too, and so just like before he asked Zeno to come with him.

Zeno agreed to it, like before.

Unlike before though, he didn’t say anything when everyone cried and told Shin-Ah he couldn’t leave at first, they wouldn’t let him, but Shin-Ah figured it’s because for some reason even though their words were similar to the villagers of Seiryuu Village their expressions and reasoning were not.

Zeno stayed silent even when Areum screamed at Chi-Hu, because apparently while she understood the logic, she still didn’t want him to leave. In her daze, she said lots of things. About how the same would only happen elsewhere, and if that’s so then Shin-Ah shouldn’t be on the run.

Shin-Ah couldn’t say anything to that, and Zeno too stayed silent. Until in the end when Areum had nothing else to say, Zeno called her and apologized.

Sincerely, with clouded eyes. Traces of his discontentment clearly visible.

Shin-Ah realized then that the one who hated the development the most was Zeno.

Well, it would affect him too. It’s natural, Shin-Ah supposed if he hated it. Zeno wouldn’t be able to easily go near people too, because of Shin-Ah. He supposed, if Zeno wasn’t affected, he’d find it even weirder.

Even if Zeno said he didn’t mind.

There’s no way he’s completely fine with it. Shin-Ah himself wasn’t completely fine with leaving. It’s only because Zeno’s kind that he could say that he’s happy with the outcome, probably.

“… Shin-Ah, let’s do something about this rumors about you.”

Zeno had suggested, and Shin-Ah agreed. For himself and for Zeno’s sake too, he supposed it’s something necessary. How they’re going to do that was different matter though. Shin-Ah knew he couldn’t possibly begin to imagine what Zeno had in mind, but he had the impression that when Zeno suggested it that he wasn’t even thinking.

He agreed that the rumors had to be stopped, but Zeno being reckless would be bad too.

Then again, Zeno had also agreed to go to other places, and taking things slowly. Show me what fun things you did before I came along, Shin-Ah had told him that, and as always, he considered it as priority. Thank heavens. Hopefully he’d be able to calm down enough to reconsider whatever it was he had in mind about the rumors.

Back then, Zeno talked about Ryokuryuu, so Shin-Ah asked to go see him too. Something must have happened though, because Shin-Ah remembered Zeno looking so sad when talking about them. At first he thought it’s because Zeno didn’t like them very much, but Shin-Ah had changed his opinion.

Zeno felt guilty of something.

Maybe, they got into a fight? Zeno did say he had to apologize.

Then again, Zeno had apologized for a lot of things to Shin-Ah. Even though he’s not in the wrong for anything.

_‘Sorry, Seiryuu… Zeno should have come sooner…’_

The first apology Zeno had ever told him echoed in Shin-Ah’s mind, and as time passed it’s making less sense. What happened to him wasn’t Zeno’s fault, not at all. Zeno was an outsider, and he had no relation to Seiryuu village or Shin-Ah himself.

And, by offering Shin-Ah his hand, he’d been making everything brighter and joyful.

Shin-Ah was so thankful, and yet Zeno seemed to get even more terrible idea of himself. Every bad things that happened to Shin-Ah was his fault in his mind. The truth was the exact opposite though.

Why would things that had nothing to do with Zeno bother him?

Really, Zeno’s too kind for his own good. Shin-Ah felt the need to tell him more, to assure Zeno that he’s the reason everything felt better for Shin-Ah, but as expected he’s not good with words.

“You’re thinking about the idiot.”

An-Hi stated, sure of herself as always. Well, she’s rarely mistaken though. Years of experience had bestowed her knowledge and wisdom. Although Shin-Ah had been told that he’s expressive, he couldn’t help but to be impressed because unlike Areum she wasn’t even looking at him. She was inspecting her jars of fermented rice, words spoken as she stirred the liquid inside.

She sipped a spoonful and nodded, seemingly satisfied with the taste before continuing.

“Good. He can’t think for himself. You’re doing the world a favor by leading him by the nose. He can be worse than you after all.”

“…? Zeno, good person. Unlike me.”

“He’s very much like you. I don’t know whether you’re underestimating or overestimating him, but either way, you’re stuck with him. Sorry to have to depend on you for this, but do try to keep him from destroying anything. Knowing him, a city or two’s demise is to be expected.”

It took few seconds for Shin-Ah to stop doubting his ears. An-Hi just basically told him that Zeno, the kind easygoing playful Zeno who seemed like he had no impurity in him, was very likely to cause a massacre. No, the way she said it, it’s more like Zeno had caused it in the past.

“Why?”

“As I said, he can be worse than you. At least you have the excuse of living in a messed up society. He has nothing of the sort. He’s a monster because he’s an idiot.”

“… Zeno isn’t a monster. And, Zeno knows a lot. Zeno is amazing.”

“He’s as much of a monster as you are, and not as tamed. You’ll see it soon. His mask is cracking. And he has been wanting to tell you, I think.”

Shin-Ah didn’t think Zeno would want him to see it. That’s why he’d decided to keep himself from asking questions if he could help it. Sometimes he couldn’t help but to ask though, when his curiosity was too intense to ignore.

“… if I found out… will Zeno… stay sad?”

“It’ll depend on you. Will you come to hate or fear him?”

Shin-Ah shook his head, his bells ringing with his movement.

“Zeno is nice. And kind. Scary when mad, but never mad at me. Even after… I did bad things to him. I don’t… fear him. I don’t think I can. I can’t hate him too.”

“He’ll get over it then.”

She said dismissively seemingly without a care as she handed Shin-Ah a small cup of the liquid she’d been making. Amazake, she said it was called. Non-alcoholic drink despite ‘sake’ being part of its name.

“Is it too sweet for you?”

Shin-Ah shook his head. It’s nice and warm and delicious. Zeno praised it once too, when she made it around New Year.

(From the smell, Shin-Ah knew too that she’d given alcoholic liquor for Zeno, but he chose to not say a thing because surely An-Hi had her reasons. Zeno had said it too. People could ask for different things even though they have the same goal in mind.)

“Do you like it?”

“… yeah.”

“Hope two flasks will be enough. Too many will just be a burden, even for the stubborn idiot.”

“…? For me? For… on the way?”

“Yes. It’s still quite cold after all. Something to warm you up from inside will be necessary. And for Ryokuryuu too. You’re going to his place, right? I don’t think he can drink liquor just yet. Rather than the gecko’s godawful cider though, this will be more favorable.”

She said as she moved the liquid from the jar to the flasks, as she said she would. Shin-Ah glanced to a corner of the room. A large bag had been prepared, and it was filled with so many things already. After telling everyone about their plan to go in spring, things kept on coming. It had gotten to the point of impossibility to bring them all.

Shin-Ah felt a bit bad.

“Don’t mind anything. I wouldn’t let you go without proper preparation anyway, and everyone share that sentiment. No matter what, you’re a scrawny sickly kid. I’m not risking you dying on anyone’s watch, specially not the gecko. Are you crazy, it can trigger something.”

She ruffled Shin-Ah’s hair as she said that, apparently having found out that Shin-Ah liked it when Zeno did it to him, before shooing him off outside as always.

Speaking of which, Zeno’s been going to the men to consult on things. Zeno said he knew things, but he was very ignorant. He’s not up to date with what’s happening, but for now such knowledge was necessary. He’s asking them about places in the map, about the changes in policies since last time he bothered to listen to announcements.

Not much had changed, but apparently major change was expected.

Apparently, a new king was to be chosen soon after all.

Not that Shin-Ah cared about it.

Even though Zeno and everyone else said it’s important, and he’s willing to learn more, Shin-Ah’s world was still so small. Up until summer last year, his entire world was Seiryuu Village. Since then, it was Zeno and everywhere he’d brought Shin-Ah to. King and the like, Shin-Ah still couldn’t understand the importance of it.

Nobles on the other hand, were important. Bad people wanted to capture him and sell him to nobles. Zeno too, said the order for soldiers to go to his village was issued by one of the nobles.

Although apparently how they do things are influenced by the King.

Shin-Ah’s head hurt from all the sudden influx of knowledge and questions.

“Don’t worry. Zeno will help you understand. We’ll take it slow though, right? No rushing, no rushing. Can’t let you get wrinkles early!”

Said the one who’s been going around like mad. Then again, they did need to hurry and leave.

Time passed so quickly after all. Since beginning, Shin-Ah had known that.

“Why??!!!!”

Areum screamed out the question as tears fell from her eyes as she fell to her knees and threw her arms around Shin-Ah’s neck. Shin-Ah stumbled, but there were already others on his back and when he realized it he was already being held by so many people.

Mostly girls. They’re mostly crying. He’s stuck in place and it’s the first time he was in such situation that his mind went blank and he’s unable to think at all.

“A… ah… I’m…”

“Hey, don’t trouble Shin-Ah. Zeno and everyone have explained the why, right?”

“I don’t want to hear that from someone who’ll end up crying the hardest!”

Chi-Hu seemed to want to say something, but he closed his mouth, scowled, and next thing Shin-Ah knew he had another person joining the group hug.

“Shin-Ah, we’re going to miss you so much…”

He heard someone whispered to his ears, but he couldn’t exactly tell who it was. The voice was unclear due to sobbing, and it was echoed by the others too.

“Me… too…”

He said in all honesty, and the sadness he couldn’t feel before due to relief came and crushed his lungs.

He didn’t want to leave.                                

As expected, such feeling still existed in him.

Even stronger than when Zeno asked him to leave Seiryuu Village… so it told a lot. Back then, he only hesitated because he thought Ao would want him stay. He’d understood though, what went through Ao’s mind. He’s thankful for it too. And he’s thankful to Zeno whom had given him another option.

Now, it’s because he really loved the village. Because it’s filled with good people, almost as weird as Zeno.

The feeling was the same and yet different. More intense despite the fact that even after this Zeno would still be with him was very soothing.

“Make sure you return here, alright? We’ll always wait for you after all! The fastest possible!”

“I’ll… try…”

“Try your hardest! Drive Zeno to the bone!”

“I will.”

It took a while before Shin-Ah realized that he’s promising things without consulting Zeno on impulse, and he turned to him for confirmation. Zeno was talking to the adults, the travelling bag already slung on his shoulder. Probably it’s due to their spiritual connection, Zeno said they’re connected through dragon blood after all, because Zeno glanced at him at the same moment and their eyes met.

Shin-Ah didn’t know if he’d heard or not, but Zeno just smiled before returning to his conversations with the others. The little dragon took it as an acknowledgement and permit.

“I will… work hard too.“

Even though he didn’t know exactly what to do, Shin-Ah decided that he would.

“About your smile too. Work hard on it, alright Shin-Ah? Show us the most cheerful smile ever later! Do you understand?! Better than Zeno’s, you hear?”

“Ah… I will… I’m… sorry… I can’t… now…”

Due to his unbearable feeling, Shin-Ah couldn’t remember clearly how the rest of the good-byes go to be honest. Similar exchange happened with the adults, surely. Except for with An-Hi. She mostly spoke with Zeno though.

“I don’t care how you’re going to manage it, make sure to keep him under a roof at night as much as you can,” was important, so she repeated it few times.

To Shin-Ah, she just said that he mustn’t hesitate and drive some sense into Zeno whenever necessary.

With his blade, she said. Preferably after coating it with the most poisonous thing Shin-Ah could find.

Shin-Ah promised that he wouldn’t ever do that, earning a click of her tongue.

“I’ll see you later then, An-Hi?”

Zeno asked in the end, but she just walked away with a huff without ever responding.

Shin-Ah remembered something like that happening, but he wasn’t sure about the exact moment.

Everything was repeating out of order in his mind, his senses screaming their most clear and important memory. It’s like he could still see the children’s crying faces, feel the warmth of their bodies against his, hear the advices the adults told him, the smell of blooming plumblossom…

The taste of his tears too.

It’s very overwhelming, Shin-Ah was unable to think clearly due to his emotions, and thus his usually held back questions got out. Like he promised, Zeno answered to each and every one of them truthfully.

Probably, some of them were planned to stay hidden for as long as possible, but Zeno valued the promise he’d made the first time too much to lie to Shin-Ah.

Zeno said it clearly, similar things would only happen again. They’d need to leave before soldiers or officers come to avoid troubles.

Until the story of monster child disappeared, they couldn’t settle permanently anywhere.

Of course, they could probably do something about how the populace perceived the story, but with just the two of them it’d take very long time before something could change.

And about the soldiers, they wouldn’t be able to do anything about them because the only way Zeno could think of was to kill every last one of them and that’s not a proper solution. About the source too, if possible he’d like to go to them and kill every single one of them, but Shin-Ah wouldn’t agree to that too so it’s impossible.

“… oh.”

“That’s your only reaction? ‘Oh’?”

“I’ve expected… something like that… And I’m glad. I was afraid Zeno would plan for something reckless.”

Zeno himself had admitted, actually, that he’d planned on killing everyone possibly related to the rumor. Be it the soldiers looking for the monster child, the Seiryuu Villagers who’re most likely starting the rumors, and every single one of them who took part in spreading the rumors.

It couldn’t be called reckless anymore. Reckless was Zeno insisting to carry everything on his own through cliffs. What he thought was better put as unrealistic, and that’s sugar-coating it.  

Well, he’d thought better of it though, and that was as relieving.

“And, An-Hi… said you’d probably destroy a city or two. So, I’ve expected your reaction too.”

“Is that so? Well, even if she said things like that, I’ve never done it before, you know? I’ve lived for a long time, and I have seen the establishment and fall of so many villages and towns, but not one of them has anything to do with me.”

“Ah… So, you’re not travelling because… you destroyed cities… and must go into hiding… I understand.”

Zeno coughed suddenly and when Shin-Ah glanced at him, he was looking sheepish and somewhat amused.

“You haven’t changed, have you?”

With slight laugh as he looked up to the starry sky, Zeno commented.

But, maybe it’s not true. Maybe the one who could see the sky was only Shin-Ah. After all, they were inside a make-shift tent, sleeping even closer to each other than usual due to the cold. Shin-Ah thought so, but it’s not really that different with when they were travelling together before. It’s just that he’d gotten used to living in An-Hi’s house that it’s gotten strange.

No more seemingly unlimited warm blankets. No more warm herbal drinks readily available. No one else was around.

Shin-Ah snuggled closer to Zeno. He’s warm, like always. Even though it’s still early spring and cold, Zeno had a ‘summer’ feel to him, like always. Fun-filled, bright and warm…

“Zeno too. I’m glad.”

Wait, why… why did it feel terrible to say? It’s very relieving, and yet… Why did it feel like it’s a wrong thing to say?

Zeno’s laugh as he pulled Shin-Ah closer and ruffled his hair made him feel so awful. Even though it’s his usual laugh…

“Your inside hasn’t changed, but you’re certainly getting bigger. Children do grow quickly after all. Isn’t your clothes getting small on you? An-Hi had to mend it a lot. It’s like the seam will get ripped every time you work out. Let’s get something new soon. We have quite a lot of money now anyway.”

“… okay. Where’s the nearest town? Is it Ryokuryuu’s place?”

“Hard to say. His village isn’t on the map after all. I think it’s somewhere close-by. Probably few weeks away. But…”

“It sounds wrong. I can’t explain why.”

“Yes, I can’t get a good feel of it now either. Ryokuryuu’s like us now, I think. He’s on the move. I used to use his presence as guide to his village, but he’s getting further each day. I don’t think it’s possible to find his village anymore. Well, without him there’s no point in going anyway. The villagers are almost as bad as people from your village. Let’s just pick a place at random from the map tomorrow and hope for the best.”

“Okay.”

Zeno meant hope they can come across him somewhere else soon. If chased, he’d only go further away. Ryokuryuu was that kind of person according to the founding legend, so they could only hope for the best. Hope it’s allowed by fate, Zeno had said. He’d been wanting to apologize after all.

For the time being, since they had no destination or proper goal other than to lay low, Ryokuryuu was designated as their destination and goal. Shin-Ah was only suggesting him on a whim, but apparently there’s nothing else worth looking forward to and if there’s nothing, Zeno could go crazy. Now, there’s at least an illusion of a reason. They went out to look for Ryokuryuu. At least it could be seen that way and the fact that they’re in hiding could be put at the back of their mind.

If Shin-Ah closed his eyes, he could somehow tell. There’s a faint glow, far from his reach. Flickering green like firefly, cold and warm at the same time, flying around and impossible to catch. It had stopped moving for now, but Shin-Ah knew if he reached out, it’d just fly away again.

Ryokuryuu was that kind of person, so Shin-Ah tried to hold himself back. But it’s really fascinating and soothing. Shin-Ah couldn’t stop himself from focusing on him mentally.

Whether he’s holding on to Ryokuryuu’s presence for Zeno’s sake or for himself, at that point Shin-Ah couldn’t tell anymore.


	7. Chapter 7

Zeno spread the map and pointed the area where they were and announced that they should avoid smaller villages for a while.  The sound loud in Shin-Ah’s ears and made him flinch. Zeno didn’t seem to notice though, his eyes were glued to the map.

“So… we’re going to big town?”

“When all goes hunting, the safest place for the preys would be the predators’ den, as they say. Surprisingly, the security will be most lax there. And it’s early spring, so there should be a lot of festivities. Your mask won’t be questioned as much.”

“Oh. Okay.”

That’s a good saying. Then again, no one said the den would be empty. Shin-Ah didn’t think he’d ever heard anyone say something like that. If it’s weird in his ears, then most likely it’s something made by Zeno.

“So it’s settled. We’re going to Chishin then. With what we have… hm… I’m not good with money, I don’t shop much after all. Shin-Ah, I’ll have to rely on you for this. You helped An-Hi with her shopping and customer service, right?”

“Yeah. But, I just... helped with her medicines and daily necessities. Only know the prices for those. Zeno said we’d stay in an inn? Has to pay? I don’t know about that.”

Shin-Ah didn’t even know why someone would make a building meant for strangers. Why would anyone willingly accept unknown people inside their homes? So money was more important than safety? The concept was a bit confusing. Then again, so was almost everything outside Seiryuu Village.

“Can’t be helped. We’ll ask around then. Then… how long we can stay there, huh? Well, the bigger and more bustling it is, the longer we can stay, and nowhere can beat Chishin in my opinion. Not even Kuuto. It’ll depend on the situation, but let’s strive for couple months.”

“… even if we camp out, I don’t think our money will be enough for long to buy food. And, it’s with the current amount. Hunt? Get things from surrounding?”

“Don’t think we can do that in towns… well, we’ll manage. Leave that to me. I’ll think of something. From here to Chishin… Considering that we’ll stop a lot and probably take as much detours… probably we’ll get there in about a month? Yeah. That sounds about right. Is that alright with you?”

“… I’m fine.”

Such was Shin-Ah and Zeno’s first conversation the next day.  

It’s important and yet it wasn’t. It’s just something on the side, because their main goal was to see Ryokuryuu. It’s just that trying to catch up to him would be as difficult as trying to catch a fly, so first they needed to lull him into false sense of security. For some time, they had to make it seem like they didn’t care about Ryokuryuu, when in actuality they’re waiting for the best time to pounce.

It sounded wrong, but it made a lot of sense.

When would that be, Shin-Ah didn’t know. He didn’t mind waiting too, to be honest. After all, Ryokuryuu was only designated as their goal because otherwise they’d be aimless. If it’s easily accomplished then Shin-Ah feared for the future.

But still, Shin-Ah was curious.

He traced the old parchment with his fingers, the promised to be seen marked towns and landmarks piquing his curiosity but not as much as Ryokuryuu’s unknown location.

Zeno said that Ryokuryuu Village existed. Ryokuryuu went away from it and wouldn’t stop running.

 “… what? Are you that curious?”

“Yeah.”

Zeno seemed a bit surprised to hear the answer.

“You are? You really are?"

"I am. Is it really that surprising?"

"Well, thought you only said you want to see him to distract me."

It's not wrong. At first it’s only for that. But still, it’s impossible to not be curious. It’s a dragon, someone who’s like him and Zeno. Someone whom had decided to leave their sanctuary.

Back then, Zeno said the predecessor was still alive. Now, he’d died. He’d been dead for a while, since around the same time they started living with An-Hi. There was a painful feeling, of something important breaking into pieces and lost to the ground. It’s familiar feeling.

Aah, he’d died too. He held out for a while. The longest…

Zeno had whispered, and Shin-Ah remembered that the feeling was similar to when Ao died. It’s more bearable though. The broken thing wasn’t his, after all.

Shin-Ah wondered if Ryokuryuu was the same. Maybe his predecessor was the only thing tying him to his village. After he died, he decided to just leave? Because he didn’t need Zeno to tell him that it’s better to leave?

Well, when they get to Ryokuryuu, it’ll come to light anyway.

“I wonder where he could be now.”

“I may know of a way to find out. Wanna try?”

“Yeah. How?”

“We dowse him. Won’t get exact location, but general area should be enough, right?”

“… Do… dowse?”

“Something I used to do for fun a while back. Hard to explain, but basically we rely on our instinct to locate them. It’s possible because dragons can sense each other. Though it’s been a long time. Wonder if I can still find him through this. Well, let’s just try. Shin-Ah, hold the map down for me.”

Shin-Ah nodded and did as he was told. And then, Zeno took off his medallion from the cloth around his head. He held the glinting medal above the map, and muttered some sort of incantation.

“Ouryuu is with Seiryuu. Hiryuu is in Kuuto. Hakuryuu is in the mountains. Ryokuryuu is…”

It’s not an incantation, turns out. But still, it roused something in Shin-Ah.

A yellow dragon was looming, ancient and strong… It should be intimidating, but instead it just felt sad. And far away, there’re others too. Smaller, younger… Someone was reaching out. He’s using his strong hand to blindly search his surroundings. Another was dancing around amidst the falling plumblossom petals, without a care in contrast.

And also… someone was… flying… away and away from everyone… as if he was trying to escape…

“Ryokuryuu is... moving…”

“Oh, you can tell too? Well, it’s something Abi taught me, so it might be easy for you to do. Shin-Ah, can you feel them all?”

“… I think… so… I’m not… sure.”

“It’s alright. Who’s the closest one?”

“Zeno. Ouryuu… is the closest.”

When Zeno touched his hands encouragingly, to silently say that he’d hold the map down for him perhaps, for a moment Shin-Ah felt like he could see scales on him. Yellow and shining like gold…

“Right, let’s get to the difficult part. Shin-Ah, look at the map. We’re in this area. Can you use my presence as mark?”

Zeno pointed to a spot between Chishin and Suiko, and it was like a yellow flame suddenly alight in the paper. Shin-Ah nodded uncertainly, wasn’t sure if what he’s feeling was what Zeno meant. The other presences flared brightly on other spots not long after.

The distances felt the same as before. No, he could still feel them. It’s just… it’s being reflected on the map.

“Can you tell where everyone else is?”

“… yeah.”

“So you can. That’s good. Unlike me, you haven’t been to anywhere, so I’m not sure if it’ll work to be honest. Who’s the closest?”

“Hiryuu… she’s in Kuuto.”

“Hakuryuu is?”

“The mountains… here…”

“Then, the last one. Where’s Ryokuryuu?”

“… Ryokuryuu is… near… Fuuga…? Nearer to Xing? Heading north.”

“Yeah. I feel him around there too. We’re feeling them on the same area.”

“So they’re there…?”

“Hakuryuu’s village is certainly on the mountains, near the border of Earth and Fire region. Hiryuu is certainly in royal palace in Kuuto. It’s safe to assume that Ryokuryuu’s really near Fuuga.”

“Oh… okay… but we’re not going to where he’s heading?”

“If we chase after him, he’d just run even faster. If we go to the others first, he’d notice and won’t let us come close. Patience, patience.”

Zeno ruffled his Shin-Ah’s hair and broke his concentration. He closed his eyes on reflex, and when he opened them again the flares on the map had disappeared. The feeling hadn’t though. It’s as if he could still see the white hand grasping around, the dance under the plum tree, and also the greenery rushing far under his feet.

The yellow dragon was still looming.

It didn’t feel weird at all. It felt natural even, and Shin-Ah even thought that if he couldn’t feel them it’d be even weirder. He’d felt them since the beginning. He just never realized.

Hiryuu was one thing, but he felt rather bad for Hakuryuu. He was calling, he’s reaching out. Shin-Ah wanted so bad to come to him.

“We’ll check on them as often as we can, alright?”

For the first time, Shin-Ah felt like he could understand why Zeno wanted to apologize to Ryokuryuu.

“Right! Heard there’s a market about two days from here. How about we rush there and get that new clothes of yours?”

* * *

The market was filled with people. It’s nerve-wrecking, as expected.

Just few weeks away… that’s where the rumors started. It’s quite close. Won’t they question him? Won’t they be wary…?

Zeno asked him about the state of things from afar first, just to be safe. There were some groups of people wearing masks and in brightly colored clothes with golden accents, dancing and surrounded by more people.

“There are performers?”

“… yeah.”

“Then it’s alright. I guarantee it.”

Since Zeno said so, it made him feel a bit better. He wouldn’t lie. Zeno had promised. When they got there, certainly people looked at him, but even though they seem questioning they weren’t wary in the slightest.

It’s because he’s wearing mask. They’re wondering if he’s a performer too, even though he’s so small.

Zeno said it’s just because of that, among other unbelievable reasons.

It’s been a while since he last heard Zeno said that he’s cute. It’s almost weird to his ears.

When Ao was still alive and he found out that Shin-Ah was in need of new clothes, what he did was only demand one from the Elders and toss it to Shin-Ah. That’s why, even though Shin-Ah knew that Zeno wouldn’t do just that, it felt very strange.

Apparently, when Zeno said there’s nothing fun that he could remember doing before Shin-Ah came along, he meant he had no one to play with and so everything felt dull. As expected from Zeno though, the simple act of shopping for clothes can turn into some sort of fun activity.

 “Zeno has always wanted to do this again with someone. Last time was… when Yakshi was your age, Zeno thinks? Abi was so pretty in a dress. Zeno still wasn’t sure what made Shuten so red, it’s either he’s holding his laughter, he’s drunk, or he’s smitten. Well, no matter. It’s so long time ago, how time flies. Shin-Ah, try this one next! It’d make you seem like a prince!”

After trying out what felt like countless strange clothes Shin-Ah found impractical, expensive, and all in all weird, also awkwardly doing what Zeno told him to do for the sake of acting out whatever it was he had in mind, Zeno seemed even happier and more spirited as he inspected every fabric and clothes and jewelry inside the shop. Although the way he brightened up so suddenly made Shin-Ah wonder if Zeno’s just acting upbeat like he'd found out Zeno always did, he seemed really enthusiastic and Shin-Ah couldn’t tell if his wide smile as he talked about his friends was fake.

It seemed genuine. The smile reached his eyes.  It made Shin-Ah feel better too. Happy Zeno always made him feel good.

And the clothes and jewels were all so beautiful and sparkly. Shin-Ah himself had fun.

“… how’s a prince usually look like?”

“Like a cute boy. Very dreamy, like sent from heaven! Well, the first Zeno saw was son of a Dragon God, so maybe I’m biased. Whatever. Shin-Ah is cute, so it’s easy to make you seem like a prince.”

Zeno explained with his crazy logic as usual as he helped Shin-Ah change. If Shin-Ah strained his eyes, he could see the shopkeeper frowning from all the noise Zeno made. Apparently only the promise that Zeno would certainly buy a lot was what’s keeping him from kicking them out.

“Zeno sounds like you’ve seen a lot of them.”

“Zeno has! You know, the current Hiryuu is a princess. She’s very cute too. Haven’t I told you that?”

Shin-Ah wondered if it’s only because when they were staying with An-Hi he spent less time with Zeno. It felt weird to listen to him talking about his past again, even though Zeno used to do it all the time.

“Right! Shin-Ah, can you twirl for me? Turn around, turn around! So cute! Hahahahaha! Let’s see what else this place has, shall we? What kind of clothes do you want to try next?”

Shin-Ah glanced around frantically. Zeno been asking that a lot, but since it’s a first for Shin-Ah, he didn’t know how to answer and just leave it up to Zeno. After a while though, some things started to pique his interest. He still couldn’t say it like Zeno though, who picked and described them with what apparently people of different status had been seen wearing.

“More… warm things. Maybe scarf?”

“Covering your neck is definitely an effective measure against cold, true. Right! What color do you like? Let’s side aside this one for real before we’re yelled at.”

“Green?”

“Green, huh? Like your clothes? Or do you want it to be brighter? There are so many shades of green available here.”

“… like… Ryokuryuu?”

Zeno laughed at his request, but he continued going through the fabric albeit with difficulties. He was laughing so hard he was a bit shaky.

“What’s that? It’s not that I don’t understand, but that’s a new one. ‘Ryokuryuu Green’… Kind of dark, but not too dark. Cold and warm…Like leaves in late summer, going to autumn. There’s a hint of red too in it. Like this, right?”

He said as he held up a fabric with green color which gradated to orange at its ends. Fiery, and yet had a ‘fleeting’ feel to it. Even how the texture felt in his fingers, it’s soft and felt like it’d easily slip away and gone with the wind. Exactly how Shin-Ah had in mind.

“Ah, yeah. Like this.”

“Yep. Zeno knows because it’s what reminds me of Ryokuryuu the best too!”

Zeno chuckled before putting the scarf around Shin-Ah’s neck. His fingers were warm despite the still cold spring air. Realizing that the scarf probably would have to be tied tightly to stay in Shin-Ah’s neck, and it wouldn’t be comfortable, Zeno stood up and went to look for pins in the jewelry section.

"Zeno thought of others too?"

“That can't be helped, isn't it? Hakuryuus are always so straightforward and caring, he’s always the one who pull us dragons together although he could be a bit forceful, so maybe white bandages. Well, white is white everywhere after all. Hiryuu's color is definitely red. Shin-Ah is… Hum… silk I think? The thin and see through one. You are easy to read.”

“Water has no color.”

“Yep, exactly. But doesn’t mean it’s not attractive! If it’s fabric, the thing that reminds me of you best is definitely silk with intricate embroidery. Very classy too, with pure kind of feel. Abi would have approved. He said ice and snow have pretty shapes after all, and they are from water. Hm… nothing seem to suit you here. Sorry, Zeno will try tying it like ribbon. Tell me if it’s too tight, alright?”

Shin-Ah nodded dazedly, too used to be dressed up at that point to care. Besides, Zeno’s always gentle and always picked decent clothes and never made him uncomfortable. And there was something intriguing in Zeno’s explanation.

Abi could tell? About pretty shapes of snowflakes? Snowflakes were like spider web, but more intricate, and almost shining. It’s one of the few things which helped Shin-Ah getting through winter he hated so much, the delight that he’d be surrounded by pretty things, no matter how torturously cold they were. Shin-Ah thought only he could see it though, with his dragon eyes.

“Abi… can see well?”

“He could, he could. He could see through everything. Abi had the best eyes. He had your eyes.”

“Abi is… ah, was… a Seiryuu?”

“He was. Zeno learned a lot about Seiryuu’s power from him. Well, you’re the first Seiryuu who’d used his power on me though.”

Even though he said it so lightly with a smile, Shin-Ah felt afraid for a split second. Maybe because he still felt bad about wanting to kill Zeno in the past.

“Sorry…”

“Why are you sorry, that was a proper reaction to strangers invading your home. I’m so glad you did it, and Ao and Abi would have approved too. There. Can you breathe okay?”

“… yeah.”

“It suits you. While we’re at it, let’s pick your clothes too. Let’s see, let’s see… How about white? Nothing can go wrong with white.”

Abi was Seiryuu. Well, that’d explain a lot, so Shin-Ah wasn’t too surprised. How Zeno knew a lot about Seiryuu’s power and the others’ too, it’d made sense if he used to live with the other dragons. Then, Guen and Shuten who were told often with Abi must be Hakuryuu and Ryokuryuu. Maybe, Shuten was Ryokuryuu. The one who liked liquor was Shuten after all.

Although then, it got weird.

When was it? When did he start living with the other dragons? Until when? Had other dragons ever lived in Seiryuu Village? Shin-Ah never heard of something like that. Did Abi leave and live with Zeno someplace else? Ah, something like that… they banished one, long time ago. They did say something like that. The curse clung to the village though, despite the banishment, and a new Seiryuu was born soon after.

But it was long time ago. Long before Ao, certainly. Besides, the villagers said that Ao lived longer than expected. A Seiryuu living for more than thirty years was unheard of, apparently. Since only a dragon can exist at one time, if Abi was a Seiryuu, then he must be Ao’s predecessor. If Zeno was friends with him, then he had to be at least older than Ao. He had to be older than thirty.

Long before Ao… a lot older than thirty.

Zeno didn’t seem like he’s thirty. He could barely be seen as teenager, with his short build, youthful face, and playful nature. Unlike Ao, his voice could still be considered high pitched too, like it hadn’t changed. He had no beard too, his chin always felt smooth.

It’s weird, it’s unbelievable, and yet Shin-Ah didn’t question it. It wasn’t even surprising.

The scary part was that it wasn’t the least bit surprising.

“Yep, it suits you!”

The scarier part was the thoughts which followed.

 


	8. Chapter 8

There are things that could feel so natural, they’re buried deep in one’s subconscious.

Like about the dragons, Shin-Ah realized after he met Zeno that he had known from the start. The feelings were there since beginning. He just never realized. It’s always there inside him, the pull towards the others.

He never questioned it, but maybe deep down he felt strange.

Zeno’s stories and explanations about the dragons always made him think, “aah, so that’s why,” after all.

Even so, there are still some strange parts. Even though he’d never realized it, perhaps he’d always known.

Since the beginning, he’d thought so.   

_‘This person is like Ao.’_

Even with his weirdness and glaring differences, he really was similar to Ao.

Even though Shin-Ah still hadn’t realized the details and exact circumstances, the thought appeared again in his mind. Back then, it’s only because he’s kind and scary when angered. Now, Shin-Ah felt like he could see more than that.

_‘This person has lived far longer than expected. This person is tired. This person just wants everything to finally be over.’_

Even though he didn’t know how long the other dragons usually could live, he couldn’t shake off the feeling that it’s the truth for Zeno too. From the stories, the look of longing when he talked about his (most certainly) dead friends… he missed them. He wanted to see them again.

He wanted to go to them.

Ao’s reasons might be different, but they’re the same. The thing they wanted was the same.

Why… why couldn’t he stop thinking of it?! It’s just conjecture, there’s no proof. No one ever said so, not Ao and not Zeno, and yet…

“Hey, do you hate white that much? There’re other colors you can pick you know? Just because Zeno said it suits you, you don’t have to force yourself to wear it or anything.”

Shin-Ah shook his head.

“I’m… fine… I’m just… surprised… Zeno’s old… and…”

“Aah, you finally realized, huh? Sorry, it’s not something I can say outright. And?”

A scary thought appeared in his mind.

Zeno’s Ouryuu. He couldn’t die from anything. He’s stronger than anything. He’s tired, he’s like Ao, and if that’s true then he must want to die, and probable maybe he couldn’t wait for new Ouryuu to be born, and that’s why he travelled, maybe because he’s looking for a way to die, and…

“… and… you want me to kill you…”

Unexpectedly, Zeno laughed. He put down the clothes he was holding up back to the pile before walking towards Shin-Ah. He didn’t realize, he’d taken steps back and his hands had gone up to press his mask to his face. Maybe it’s because he’s reminded of Ao and his lessons on how to use Seiryuu’s paralyzing eyes.

 “Too bad, but the second part is wrong.”                                      

Something felt wrong. Even though he said that, the bad feeling Shin-Ah was feeling hadn’t disappeared. Not even Zeno’s hand on his head, ruffling his hair could make it disappear.

“Good suggestion, but well… I’ve given up on dying, so nope. Didn’t plan on asking you, and I won’t ever ask you. Tempting, but no. And in case you’re wondering, that’s not why I came to Seiryuu Village too.”

“Given up…? And… it’s not…? Not because Seiryuu can kill easily? If I look…?”

“Yeah. There’s no way I’ll die that easily. Also, no matter what you heard from the idiots, your gaze won’t kill anyone. Your touch won’t kill anyone too. That’s the truth, and I know that from the start. I lived with Abi after all. Didn’t Ao tell you the same thing? It’s all stupid rumors. You’re not destructive, not at all. You’re not a monster. The thought to ask you never even crossed my mind.”

Shin-Ah realized it then.

Zeno was as he thought, was tired of living. Unlike Ao though, he had no more reason to stay alive. He might have tried to kill himself so many times already, and failed each time, so he decided to stop trying. He’d given up on it. He’s tired of even trying to die.

He had, but…

“Still, as promised, you can try using your power on me anytime you want. Ah, not only your power, you can also try your sword skills on me. Though not near many people like this, if we’re seen, I don’t want you to get into trouble.”

If there’s a chance, he wouldn’t refuse it. If there’s someone who’d try for him, he’d gladly accept their so called help. If there’s a situation where death would be a risk, he’d feel nothing and just challenge fate.

Zeno had become such person.

“No…! I… I don’t want to…”

“And I won’t make you. I’ve promised, right? Come on, Shin-Ah. Don’t press your mask too hard like that. Isn’t it hurt? Sorry, sorry. I’ve upset you, haven’t I?”

Hesitantly, Shin-Ah lowered his hands. Zeno had crouched down and was looking straight at him.

“I’m sorry. I won’t ask you. I really won’t. I’d like to see your beautiful eyes again though. May I?”

Panicked, he took another step back and covered his face again. The conversation just reminded him of how dangerous they were, with a voice audible from deep inside him. Whispering mocking encouragement, voice of a hungry dragon begging to be let out.

_‘Do it, do it, he’s asking you to, right? It’s alright then, right? He did say it’s alright. It’s been a while since you use it, isn’t it? You’re plenty healthy now, right? Hey, aren’t you bored? Don’t you want to see more cute things? Hear more pretty sound? Hey-‘_

It’s bad. Even though he thought he could start to ignore it, it felt a bit louder. Just few days earlier, he thought he’d be able to ignore it if it’s only for few seconds. Now, he didn’t want to take any chances.

More than towards vulnerable normal humans, showing his eyes to the supposedly invincible Zeno had become even scarier.

“Not… yet… I can’t… show you yet…“

If it’s like this, smiling without the mask had become even harder. Even though for Zeno whom had gotten so upset over what happened in An-Hi’s village he lost his impressive emotion-faking skill, Shin-Ah had strived to try that…

Even though he really wanted to see him happy…

_‘Don’t be guarded, don’t hide them… Zeno likes them. He’d feel bad if you keep covering them like this.’_

Small voice, different from that of the dragon chided him, and Shin-Ah forced his hands to go down and clenched the hem of his new clothes instead. If Zeno was bothered, he couldn’t tell. Not with his gentle smile and hand which pat Shin-Ah’s head, like usual as if he’s silently praising Shin-Ah for unknown things.

“It’s alright. I can wait. We have a lot of time too. Well, not at the moment though. We’ve been here for quite a long time, it’s amazing that the shopkeeper still hasn’t yelled at us. Let’s get the rest of your clothes quickly, right Shin-Ah?”

“… right.”

Shin-Ah couldn’t tell, but since Zeno stopped talking about his friends, Shin-Ah couldn’t be sure that Zeno’s not bothered either.

* * *

Shin-Ah got a whole set, from scarf to shoes. The shopkeeper smiled and seemed very happy that the noisy customers who played with his merchandize would finally leave and really kept their promise. He glanced down at Shin-Ah and nervous, he hid behind Zeno.

“Hm? What’s wrong?”

“Ah, nothing. You’re matching now, just thought so.”

Match…

Ah, that’s right. Shin-Ah hadn’t realized. White top with green scarf… It’s like Zeno. The bells on his mask were on the same side as Zeno’s medallion too. It made him feel a bit self-conscious.

“What, are you two a duo or something?”

“Rather than duo, we’re a quartet. Counting our master… then, a quintet? Well, for now it’s just us two though, true.”

“He seems too young. How old are you, kid? Five?”

Shin-Ah flinched, didn’t expect for that to be so easily found out. Also, he didn’t expect to be asked something. He nodded shyly from behind Zeno in confirmation though.

“Never heard of someone who started out this young. Is it even alright for him to be living on the road?”

“He’s our newest addition. But don’t underestimate him! Shin-Ah is strong and smart. More than me.”

“I look forward to see you two in action then.”

“Eeeh, that’d be bad. It won’t be pretty sight, you see?”

It felt like they spoke two different conversations at the same time. Shin-Ah didn’t think it was possible.

After that, Zeno took him around. There were many stores, and the food stalls were specially attracting for him.

Dumplings and sweet buns seem particularly nice. The smell of newly cooked sweets and the sound of the cooking were appealing too. Zeno said it’s perfect snack for moon-viewing, accompanied by liquor. It’d work for flower- viewing too, but it’s still too close to winter for that. Maybe later, when it’s warmer they could do proper flower-viewing, he said.

When cherryblossoms are in full bloom and covering the sky with pink petals, most likely in couple months. After Chishin, they could go to a good spot Zeno knew in the mountains. Shin-Ah could try the hotspring too, he said.

“In the meantime, let’s look around! This is a good chance to get the things on our must buy list, isn’t it? Maybe we won’t get everything, but let’s get what we can! I think I saw someone eating candied apple earlier, can you see where it’s being sold?” 

“Save money.”

“An-Hi gave me some of her herbs, and I’ve been picking some all the way here too, right? We can sell them tomorrow for more money. It’s time to do market research now!”

“… and… we’re not looking at the medicine stalls because…?”

“Because what we need to see is how much we’ll need, and adjust around that, obviously.”

Even though it made sense, the reasoning felt wrong for some reason. About the prices, Zeno said he’d rely on Shin-Ah. Tomorrow, most likely he’d leave it to Shin-Ah too for the pricing. Well, as long as Shin-Ah keep it close to the prices An-Hi set it should be fine.

“By the way, Shin-Ah, since when are you five? I thought you’re four years old.”

“… ah, my birthday is on third day of the first month.”

“It’s been a while then.”

“Isn’t it recent? A month isn’t that long, isn’t it?”

“It’s quite a while, isn’t it? And you didn’t say anything too! I’m angry, you know? It’s an important day, you know.”

“… it’s not, isn’t it?”

“It’s an important day worth celebrating. Birthdays you know, is important not for yourself, but for others. People who consider you important would want to thank you for being born.”

Ao said something like that last year, Shin-Ah remembered. Ao was the only one who said such things. To others, his birth was a bad thing after all.

Not to Ao though. At least, Shin-Ah thought so. He seemed so happy when he lost his sight after all.

His birth was the start of Ao’s health decline. Because he was born, Ao could die. He could be human because of it. Ao pat and thanked him last year because of it.

Surely it’s because of it.

 “Why? I’m not Ouryuu. My birth didn’t allow Zeno to die, right? As Seiryuu, I can’t… I don’t want to kill you too.”

“I know that. I know that from the start, you know?!”

 “Uwa!”

Suddenly Zeno picked him off from the ground, and it was surprising that Shin-Ah couldn’t help the yelp coming out of his mouth.

 “Can’t I just be thankful that you’re here with me and make my days feel more fun? If your friends had known, they’d be angry too, you know? Bad Shin-Ah. As punishment, I’m not letting you down until dinner time!”

“… eh? Wha... why?”

“Not letting me and everyone else celebrate your birthday is a very bad thing. You’re lucky I’m generous and will let you off at dinner! Do you know that Ao and Abi might curse me and everyone else because of this? It’s that serious.”

“Cu… curse?!”

“Yeah! Their precious successor thinking of himself as someone who can only be thanked for killing others… what stupidity is that? Well, undoubtedly, it’s the idiots fault though. Still, for me to not notice and failed to convince you otherwise is a bad thing! I’m getting headache already. Aah, I’m really cursed isn’t it?”

Zeno stopped walking and screwed his eyes shut. His breathing fastened, and he let out pained grunts. Shin-Ah felt his muscles tensing too, like he’s really in pain. It made him panic.

“No… not curse! I’m sorry, I’m really sorry! Zeno can thank me for something else than killing you! From next year, I’ll let Zeno and anyone else celebrate! I’ll remind you too about it! So-“

“Ah, it’s gone already.”

Zeno announced suddenly, muscles relaxed, eyes opened wide as if he was in wonder himself.

“…! Really?”

“Yep. Feels lighter now.”

“That’s… relieving…”

He let out a chuckle and started walking again. His smile turned mischievous, and it took few seconds for Shin-Ah to realize that he was being teased. His face heat up from embarrassment, even though he was pretty sure in the crowded market no one actually heard their conversation, and he couldn’t fight the urge to hide himself. He pressed his masked face to Zeno’s chest, which apparently only made Zeno laughed harder.

“Well, it’s late, but today will be a feast then. Better late than never. Since it’s your birthday celebration, we’re having your favorite food. Fish, of course. You like it the best, right? Fish nabe with miso sounds good, isn’t it? Let’s get the ingredients!”

It’s useless. There’s no convincing Zeno otherwise. Shin-Ah could only let himself be carried around the market, telling Zeno about the prices he’d learned from his time with An-Hi in effort to keep their money from running out too quickly.

He’d get back at Zeno later, he swore silently as he thought about how to ask for Zeno’s birthday. Knowing Zeno, there’s no way he’d tell after all.

Well, he’d think of something. Maybe, he could fish it out from talks about his friends. There’s something more important to think about anyway for the moment.

“Hey, Shin-Ah,” Zeno asked on their way back to camp. “I sensed two, but I’m not sure to be honest. How many are there really?”

“Zeno’s not wrong. A pair. A man and a woman. Still following.”

For now, Shin-Ah thought it’s more important to think about what to make off of that.


	9. Chapter 9

Before they entered An-Hi’s village, Zeno told him something important. 

“Shin-Ah, you’re smart, so I don’t think I need to say this. Just in case though, if you perceive any danger, I want you to avoid fighting at all cost. Don’t fight with your blade, and don’t fight with your eyes. Can you do this for me?” 

“… yes. I understand.” 

The reason was related to Ao, as Zeno would later explain. Shin-Ah figured it’s secondary though. Zeno was just worried about him, Shin-Ah thought. Zeno’s quite the worrywart after all. 

(Then again, Shin-Ah himself was too, he’d realized) 

That’s why, seeing worrywart Zeno seemingly calm and cheerful like always as he picked out the herbs to sell tomorrow and as he cooked for dinner felt a bit weird. Even though Zeno faked his emotions all the time, he always dropped it in important times. 

Wait, so being followed by a pair of suspicious people… isn’t really important to him? 

Zeno didn’t strike Shin-Ah as someone who’d ignore such thing, specially not when there's someone else involved. Zeno was good to a fault after all. Then again, he could be murderous too to people he didn't like.  

 “What’s wrong? Does it not taste good? Zeno thought you like sweetbuns. You seemed so happy when An-Hi made some on New Year.” 

“The bun is fine. The redbean jam taste good.” 

To make his point, Shin-Ah took a bite and tried to conjure the best happy-looking face he could. With his mask and stubborn facial muscles which wouldn’t move much unless Shin-Ah’s terribly overwhelmed, he’s not sure Zeno could see anything though. 

(An-Hi said that the cause was something called ‘trauma’ and it’s not something that herbs can fix, and Zeno just sighed and commented that he figured that’s the case) 

Then again, Areum had said Shin-Ah’s pretty expressive for someone who couldn’t show much. 

When Zeno placed his hand on the crown of Shin-Ah’s head and ruffled his hair like he’d often do with amused looking smile, Shin-Ah figured that Zeno could see. Perhaps even more than that, Zeno could see through Shin-Ah often after all. 

There’s a roaring in his ears when Zeno’s hand slide down though, warm fingers tracing edge of his cat-like mask. Shin-Ah screwed his eyes shut and went very still. 

“… you got jam smeared on your mask.” 

“Ah… sorry.” 

Shin-Ah let out a relieved sigh as he said that. He trusted Zeno would keep his word to not force him to do anything, but sometimes he couldn’t help but to be nervous. Shin-Ah forced his eyes to open again, and found Zeno licking his reddish thumb. 

 _‘Calm down… you’re getting worked up for nothing. He’d never do it. He loves you too much to betray your trust of him._ _He wouldn’t lie to you either._ _Take your time. He’d wait, he said he would.’_  

Shin-Ah didn’t know why that voice said such things, didn’t know the basis of it. How a part of him which should had disappeared along with his beloved person could say that Zeno loved him was a curious thing, but he’s grateful for the encouragement and calming words along with the chime of his bells. 

“You’re worried about our stalkers, aren’t you?” 

“… yes.” 

 “Since they haven’t actually done anything, it should be nothing. And you said it yourself right? They’re gone for now.” 

“Right.” 

“Then again, a bit precaution is never bad. Shin-Ah, can you describe them for me?” 

They were a pair who resembled each other, even to Shin-Ah’s eyes. Maybe twins. Certainly related to each other. Seemingly a bit older and adult-like than Zeno. There’s nothing out of ordinary with their features. Long dark hair, both kept in ponytail, cloak like every traveler would normally wear…  

(Shin-Ah hadn’t known how old Zeno was exactly, just that he’s older than Ao and had lived far longer than the expected life-span of a dragon, but it’s certainly weird to think that Zeno could be older than most people.) 

“Are you sure there’s really nothing?” 

“… they have… identical necklaces too. The woman’s had green gem. The green… dark, but seemingly well-polished. It’s called, jade? The old man from the accessory stall called similar looking stone that. The man’s was brown. Shiny, but there’s defect on it, like a crack line, maybe it’d hit something in the past…? The bands were gold. They wore golden bracelets too. Different color than Zeno’s medallion though. Uhm… theirs were a bit dull… and-” 

Zeno seemed like he’s holding back his laughter. He was always smiling, but he’s definitely amused. Shin-Ah stopped talking, just realizing that what he’s telling was too descriptive, practically useless in identifying people. He focused on the wrong thing. 

So embarrassing. Why their jewels? Sure they’re shiny and pretty and eye-catching, but it’s very important to look at their expressions and body features. Shin-Ah knew that, it’s basic to pay attention to those in battle to plan ahead, so it’s even more embarrassing. 

“What’s wrong? Don’t stop. What’s with their jewelry bands?” 

He asked with his usual mischievous smile as he leaned forward. Shin-Ah shook his head and looked down to his sweetbun. Suddenly the clumps of jam seemed so interesting. 

“Shin-Ah?” 

“Nothing. There’s nothing.” 

Shin-Ah responded curtly. Zeno was outright laughing then, clutching his stomach and letting out somewhat muffled sound. Shin-Ah tried to ignore him and focus on eating his bun instead. The bad feeling from embarrassment made it almost impossible to register the taste, and Shin-Ah finished his bun in few quick bites.

Even though he liked seeing Zeno happy, he had found himself not quite liking being teased for it.

“Shin-Ah, come here?” 

“…” 

“Come here. I never realized you like jewelry that much. Then again… Ao did have a lot, and the storage used to be filled with Abi’s. My miss, my miss. Pretty jewels are shiny and glittery and beautiful to look at, aren’t they?” 

“I’m not… interested…” 

“Ah, so you’re not interested on my medallion too?” 

“… not.” 

Shin-Ah cursed himself for not able to immediately answer. The pause at the start was surely dead giveaway to how the golden trinket been so attractive to him from the start. He always felt calm and content whenever he looked at it, and there’s even a time when he wondered if it’s the medal which gave off calming influence and not Zeno.

Dead giveaway.

Zeno laughed again after all. Shin-Ah squirmed and tried to focus his senses to his surroundings. To the song of the forest, rustles of leaves, crackling of fire and cry of the beetles… the lingering sweet smell of jam and bubbling leftover soup…

Anything other than Zeno.

“Shin-Ah.”

 It’s not good. He’s too conditioned to do everything Zeno told him to. His resolve to not defy Zeno was too strong. Shin-Ah glanced at Zeno uncertainly, and the blond dragon’s smile wasn’t as hard to look at. He had leaned back, supporting his weight with one hand and patting his thigh with the other, silently asking Shin-Ah to sit on his lap.

Shin-Ah hesitated, but went to Zeno anyway. As expected, he was immediately secured (and trapped) in a firm hold.

“Tell me more about their jewelry?”

“… you’ll laugh.”

“Sorry, sorry. But, you seemed so cute and unusually spirited, Zeno couldn’t help himself. I won’t laugh again, promise.”

 “It’s not… important, is it?”

“It is. Zeno has a good guess as to who they are thanks to you. Also, it’s the first time after almost a year that Zeno gets to hear something that really interests you without any influence from me. It’s very important.”

After his laughing fit earlier, Shin-Ah had hard time believing that, so he kept quiet. But then, Zeno’s hands let go of him, and surprised, Shin-Ah looked up. Zeno was taking off the scarf he’d worn on his head, apparently to take the medallion.

“You’re definitely doubting me, aren’t you? How cruel. Even though Zeno never lied to you. Well, guess I deserved that though.”

He said before placing his one and only important thing on Shin-Ah’s hand. It’s surprising that he could do it so easily, Shin-Ah didn’t think Zeno liked having others touching it. The medal felt surprisingly warm and for a second Shin-Ah thought he could feel something pulsing.

“Right… look carefully, Shin-Ah. Which do you think is better care for? Their jewelry or my medallion?”

“… ah… uhm… Zeno’s seem… shinier. And… this one has no cracks, unlike theirs, so…”

“If you see people wearing something as flawless as this medallion, most likely they’re nobles. They’re the ones who can usually afford to keep their jewelry in good condition. Polishing metal isn’t exactly cheap, you know? Well, not that Zeno knows the exact price for it though.”

“So, the pair… aren’t nobles… most likely.”

“Yep, so we can rest easy, rest easy. You did say that the girl’s has jade in them right? Even though accessory isn’t uncommon, gem is a bit rare, I think. They’re probably entertainers, trying to investigate their competition. Entertainers wear their jewelry even when they’re not performing sometimes as advertisement.”

Zeno did say that with his mask, anyone would think of Shin-Ah as an entertainer, and not monster boy with cursed eyes. When there’re other entertainers around, it’d be more certain. If that’s so, then for entertainers to thought so and think of them as competition wouldn’t be weird.

“Then… shouldn’t I… take off my mask?”

“Don’t worry, when they see that we’re just selling herbs, they’ll leave us alone.”

That’s relieving. Then again, the idea of having to take off his mask didn’t upset him as much as Shin-Ah expected it’d be. He didn’t know if it’s because he’s too focused on the fascinating trinket, or because it felt nice as usual to be basked in Zeno’s warmth though.

The medallion was also warm… Almost as warm as Zeno.

Shin-Ah traced the dragon print, seemingly trapped within webs, entangled and doomed to struggle for eternity. What an odd design.

“Heh… so it seems that way to you too?”

Didn’t realize he’d voiced his thought out loud, Shin-Ah looked up in surprise. Zeno seemed wistful, and his smile had become painful to look at.

“Perhaps it’s because of that, this medallion can always calm me down whenever I’m upset. We’re the same, trapped in this land and unable to return to heaven. _Hey, don’t forget about me, I’m here too, I won’t ever leave you_ … I think I can hear words like that sometimes.”

“… Zeno… thinks… it’s alive too?”

“Even if it’s not, it certainly has will of its own. It was given to Hiryuu from the Dragon Gods before it’s given to me. But, even though I’ve handed it over to someone else long ago, it’s already on my neck when I realized it. It wouldn’t leave me. It doesn’t want to. It’s enhanced, I think.”

“… which… Hiryuu? The Princess? Can’t Zeno ask her?”

“The one who lived with me and Abi and the other dragons. The one who died long time ago. The Princess knows nothing about dragons. Hiryuu has no power to begin with, only charm and charisma. I’ll be surprised if the Princess knows that she’s Hiryuu.”

“Her predecessor… hasn’t… didn’t tell her…?”

“Hiryuu is different. No one inherited his power. Suddenly he just died, and then… after a long time, he finally reborn. Add to the fact records about the dragons are forbidden now, with the priests chased away like this, no one can tell her. I think Hiryuu is reborn now because soon there’ll be chaos, which heaven deemed to can only be stopped by Hiryuu. If she ever found out… that means this prediction has come true, and I’ll be the one who tell her.”

Zeno heaved a sigh, his hands on Shin-Ah’s lap felt heavier all of the sudden.

“It’d be nice if she never knows… To gather because misfortune happened to her or to anyone, that’s bad. Don’t you think so too, Shin-Ah?”

But then, Zeno wouldn’t be able to be with her, isn’t it? If she didn’t know, then you wouldn’t be able to say the things you’ve been wanting to tell her, isn’t it?

Shin-Ah questioned that, his hands gripping the medallion tighter until it ached. He didn’t think he wanted to hear Zeno’s answer.

It’s painful, but Shin-Ah wasn’t sure at that point. Was it because he knew how much Zeno missed Hiryuu… or was it because Shin-Ah himself had so much to tell her?

Did he not want to hear Zeno’s pained voice, or did he not want to feel worse than he already was?

Shin-Ah didn’t know.

“But... it’ll be nice… if we can all be together…”

He said in the end despite himself. It’s weird and awful. Hiryuu was a stranger. Shin-Ah hadn’t even heard of her existence before he met Zeno. She’s supposed to be the same like everyone else Shin-Ah didn’t think much about. Even so, for some reason he wanted so bad to go to her, and thinking that he might not be able to even speak to her made his blood boil and eyes itch. It’s different with his pull to Ryokuryuu and Hakuryuu. It’s not due to curiosity to Ryokuryuu’s reason to leave his village, or guilt for ignoring Hakuryuu’s call. It’s not because he knew that Zeno wanted to see her too. It’s something else entirely.

Something else… something deep under his consciousness, ingrained in his every fiber…

“Zeno … it hurts…”

Zeno held him tighter and told him that he knew.

“She’s the reason you have your power, that you are Seiryuu. Of course not able to see her, or talk to her would feel sad. I promise, you’ll feel better as time goes on. It’s the same for me too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. If not, I would have gone crazy, right? Well, the medallion helps, you can feel it taking in your bad feeling right? Also, being with someone else helps too. Can make you forget for a while, you see? Whenever you feel bad, I’ll lend the medallion to you.”

Shin-Ah nodded.

It’s Zeno who gave off better calming influence, Shin-Ah decided as he closed his eyes and tried to adjust his breathing as he basked in warmth. The assurance made him think that Zeno wouldn’t leave him after all, and it’s more joyful than being let to hold the precious medal.

Being with someone else helps.

To Shin-Ah, it had greater effect. Shin-Ah decided then, if he started hurting he’d not ask for the medal, and ask to be held instead.

He remembered in An-Hi’s house, how Zeno clutched his medal like his life depended on it, his fingers light and barely touching Shin-Ah’s skin. To Zeno, it’s probably different. Even so…

“… if Zeno’s feeling bad, I’ll be with Zeno then. In exchange. Even if you’re murderous.”

The laughter coming from Zeno then was certainly from exasperation.


	10. Chapter 10

Shin-Ah was very relieved An-Hi gave him a book before.

Scraps of yellowing paper sewed into one, nothing fancy. Rather, it’s garbage, so if Shin-Ah didn’t want it he could just throw it away. An-Hi said so herself. It’s apparently her old notebook. She’d written on it description of various medicine ingredients, be it plants or animals, along with the price she decided to put on them for dealing with the peddlers.

The writing was hard to read. Swirly and so unlike the examples Zeno had shown him. It’s making Shin-Ah’s head hurt. Specially the letters, as the numbers were the easiest to read. Zeno had laughed and said it’s to be expected, he’d never met a medical professional with illegible handwriting.

They could be worse than even drunk Shuten’s handwriting, or even Guen’s, who couldn’t even hold a pen, he said.

“… why?”

“Dunno. It’s just is.”

“Weird.”

“Tell me about it.”                                     

Zeno seemed to be able to read An-Hi’s writing though. Maybe because he’s used to see worse. Shuten wrote a lot when he’s drunk, and his writings were always worth the trouble of deciphering, Zeno had said.

“Reading Shuten’s poems out loud was the most fun.”

It’s something that happened long time ago, decades ago perhaps. But, Zeno still apparently remembered it well. Perhaps like it happened the day before, if his laugh was any indication.

Poor guy, Shin-Ah couldn’t help thinking. Years after his death, and he’s still laughing stock. Then again, Shin-Ah himself had become Zeno’s new victim. Good chance in the future he’d suffer the same fate as Shuten. After his death, Zeno would tell others silly stories of their past together.

Somehow, Shin-Ah thought so despite knowing that dragons didn’t have long to live, confusing him when he realized it. There’s no exact rule for it, but since Zeno’s older, wasn’t it expected that Zeno would die first?

Zeno always seemed full of life, probably it’s because of that. How he always seemed so energetic made Shin-Ah think that Zeno would somehow live forever.

Anyway, even though Shin-Ah couldn’t remember the price An-Hi put for some of the herbs and Zeno was plain ignorant as he said it himself, thanks to the note everything was properly priced. At least, Shin-Ah sure hoped so. He couldn’t help it if he couldn’t read the handwriting properly, making sense of what his eyes saw was different thing altogether after all. 

(Like it’s difficult to make sense of Zeno, who felt so much like Ao despite his differences)

“If Zeno’s stuck, Zeno will refer to this note then. Honestly, it’s been a long time since Zeno prepared medicine for someone. Zeno’s forgetful, forgetful!”

He’s not, Zeno’s memory’s so good to the point of it being painful to him. After almost a year together, it’s just getting more and more obvious.

“At this point, maybe you know more than Zeno does. And with your eyes, Zeno’s sure you can see signs and symptoms clearly. Ehehe. Doctor Shin-Ah has nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

“No.”

“You respond too quickly.”

“Can’t. Dangerous. What if I poisoned someone? Won’t give anything unless I’m sure. So… If Zeno has no confidence, it’s better to just sell them to another seller.”

“Hm… that’s a good idea. Still… selling stuffs to those who already have stock of them isn’t really profitable. Let’s do it in the worst case scenario of us not selling anything. At least, for the ones that can’t be used unless they’re fresh.”

And so, it led to Shin-Ah and Zeno setting up a stall in an empty spot near the grocery stalls.

Some of the fresh produce sold there could also be used as medicine, so it’s a great spot. It won’t anger the other medicine sellers, while those who’re looking for medicine would also be in that particular market section. Or so Zeno said. Shin-Ah suspected that another reason Zeno chose that particular spot was because it’s near the food stalls though.

“Of course. Zeno wants a place where one of us can get food quickly and easily, since most likely we’ll be here until dark. Or until we’ve sold all of our merchandize. Whichever comes first.”

Aah, so it’s not a mistake. Not that it’s a bad thing.

“…Also, we need to attract customers, but...”

Of course, as merchants customers are the one they should look for. Large number of people. As many strangers as possible. Can’t hide, must make them come…

Shin-Ah swallowed the lump that suddenly appeared on his throat.

“How?”

“Well, one of us can go around and bring sick looking people here. The usual way would be that, but that’s out of question. In An-Hi’s village, Zeno knew each and everyone of them, so Zeno knew no one would kidnap you or stuff, but it’s different with all these strangers. Nope, not a chance. I’m not letting you out of my sight.”

He said adamantly, and it made Shin-Ah wonder why exactly strangers would want to kidnap him. Before, he was told it’s because he’d catch a good price, but it’s him as Seiryuu. Now that he’d left the village, and he’s sure to keep his eyes hidden from the unknowing people (and those who knew too, like Zeno), he didn’t think anyone would want to take him away.

Well, if it’s Zeno, he’d probably say that Shin-Ah was the cutest boy alive and it’d be weirder if no one wants to kidnap him. Asking Zeno would not really help him understand.

 “Right. The alternative…”

Zeno muttered with a sigh as he stood up, before taking a deep breath. On instinct, Shin-Ah closed his ears and screwed his eyes shut just in time before Zeno screaming on top of his lungs.

“MEDICINE! GET YOUR MEDICINE HERE! WE HAVE MEDICINE FOR BASICALLY ANYTHING!”

Ouryuu was the picture of good health. That didn’t mean he had the best features heaven could offer for a human being though. Zeno’s strong, but there were stronger people. Ao was definitely stronger. Zeno himself considered himself a weakling.

But no doubt in Shin-Ah’s mind, Zeno had the best set of lungs. No one could scream like him. No doubt about it. No one had ever managed to make his ears ring after all. It’s at the point where Shin-Ah wondered if it’s part of Ouryuu’s power.

That was how they opened up shop.

Of course, the scream attracted attention. Also, the strange two shopkeepers. One was the overly cheerful boy, too easygoing for a medicine seller. The other was a strange quiet boy, seemingly out of place with his mask. Medicine seller should at least seem mature and dependable. Shin-Ah couldn’t help but to agree with the familiar voice resounding at the back of his mind.

_“There’s not an ounce of trustworthiness in this Ouryuu. You’re an idiot for trusting him, but apparently you’re not the only idiot in this world. Good to know, huh?”_

The customers all had questioning and doubtful look too. Of course they would, Shin-Ah thought. With his mask and Zeno’s radiant smile, they looked like they belonged in an entertainment group. It’d be no surprise they couldn’t sell everything. Rather, Shin-Ah was surprised they managed to sell anything at all.

“Well, it’s not that surprising. Your big bro sure can scream, and you two are eye-catching. The merchandise you’re selling is the surprise.”

Apparently Shin-Ah was too dazed in his thought to keep his mouth shut. Unconsciously, he said what’s in his mind out loud. He gasped in surprise, his hands involuntarily went to his mouth to cover it.

In front of him was a familiar looking woman. She was squatting down, eyes locked on the already prepared herbs. Shin-Ah couldn’t tear his gaze from the shiny green gems on her bracelet and necklace.

Since when? Shin-Ah was Seiryuu, the one with the best eyes. He should have noticed, and yet…

_‘Calm down, this is in plain view. Bad people tend to hide their doing. Also, Ouryuu is right there right? He wouldn’t go far. He can hear you if anything happens, and he can see you if it’s only from this distance. In fact, I think he’s felt your panic already.’_

It’s getting late, so Zeno went to get some food. It wouldn’t be far, and he said he wouldn’t go to places where he couldn’t Shin-Ah. Zeno had noticed the woman too, just as the voice said. Wide blue eyes, he seemed cautious and surprised. His ever-present smile faltered too.

 “At first glance you sure seem like an entertainer. No matter. I’ve seen even more flashy merchants anyway. Hey, have something for sore-throat? One of our singers has been complaining of it for a while.”

_It’s… all…. Right…_

Zeno mouthed before turning to the food stall-keeper, though he appeared to be haggling now instead of choosing more food.

_‘Don’t expect much from him, you’re on your own for now. Thought it’s clear, but Ouryuu is an idiot with no tact. He knows you’re panicking, but since you’re not threatened or anything yet, he won't help you. Just like how he just left you alone with children on your own despite him knowing your experience with them.’_

That's right... Zeno's that type of person. He'd protect, but he wouldn't spoil. Just like Ao. Very much like Ao. Although Zeno was considerably less strict and more cheerful and tricky. Also, just a bit gentler.

The voice scoffed at the thought.

_‘Although if you keep on like this, he’d step in sooner or later.’_

That’s a good point. Hesitantly, Shin-Ah pointed at some of his merchandize. 

“This one, and this… Uhm… and this will make it sweeter and warmer inside… Boil them together, and drink the water before sleep for three days… Also…”

The woman blinked and tilted her head slightly, flipping her hair perhaps unconsciously. Normal movement that most people did on instinct when curious, but it’s enough to make Shin-Ah flinch.

“Also?”

“… what I just told you is… for usual sore throat. It’s best if for few days, the sick person avoid juicy fruits or vegetables, to avoid further irritation. And, it’d be better if… Zeno can examine them. In case of infection or other… I mean…”

Being prodded by someone other than Zeno was new. Shin-Ah was a bit flustered because of it. The fact that the woman, who seemed like she’s in her early twenties, was taking a five-year-old like him seriously in things related to someone’s well-being was even more pressuring. It didn’t help that the woman had been following them, therefore not like the other customers and was very suspicious.

“Zeno? Your big brother?”

Shin-Ah nodded in confirmation after a moment of contemplation, deciding that correcting her about Zeno would be pointless and would only make her stay longer to ask more. Seeing her piercing brown eyes made his skin crawl, even though she hasn’t said or done anything but talk.

“Hm… Though you seem competent enough, maybe your big bro will be more assuring to Mirah, true. Then again, he doesn’t seem like a medicine seller at all. Medicine sellers I’ve met are all so serious-looking, see? You two, your big brother specially, don’t seem that trustworthy. How much?”

“Fifty rin. Zeno can be trusted. He’s… not a bad person.”

“Appearance and impression matters in trading, boy. Whether you’re selling things or act, it’s the same. I’m not saying your brother is a bad person. I’m saying he doesn’t seem like most medicine sellers, so it’s hard to not think of him as a swindler. Forty.”

“No cinnamon.”

The woman clicked her tongue but gave Shin-Ah five coins nevertheless. At the thought of her leaving soon, Shin-Ah felt a bit relieved.

“Also, he might be not bad of a person, but he’s definitely careless. Leaving his baby brother like this in the middle of a crowded market… He lacks common sense.”

“Well, sorry Zeno lacks common sense, suspicious big sis.”

 Zeno said with his free hand on his hip, while the other holding a bag of buns. Shin-Ah heaved the breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. He could see Zeno returning, but still he was afraid Zeno would opt to stay away until the woman left. It wouldn’t be surprising if he did so, to be honest. It took everything Shin-Ah had to not crawl and cling to Zeno’s leg. Better not, it’d give bad impression since no matter what the woman was a customer.

The woman suddenly laughed.

“It’s fine, I guess. Well, your big bro has returned, and I’ve gotten what I want, guess I better leave. See you later, kid. You sure drive a hard bargain.”

“Ah... yes… thank you for your purchase.”

Shin-Ah said despite himself, most likely due to habit now as he watched the woman walked away. When Zeno settled again next to him, Shin-Ah couldn’t help himself and leaned against the older dragon, basking himself with the familiar comforting warmth.

“Sorry, are you alright?”

“Yeah. She didn’t do anything. I’m scared because I’ve seen her before, that’s all.”

“Admirably strong and amazing merchant Shin-Ah,” Zeno said teasingly, and Shin-Ah held back any denying words he wanted to say, lest Zeno got encouraged, and just enjoyed Zeno ruffling his hair like always when he’s feeling proud for some odd reason. He accepted the bun Zeno gave him and eat it while it still warm.

When later Shin-Ah thought about it, perhaps his words to the mysterious woman were the start of their involvement with the world of entertainment.

_‘Why of all things did you suggest her to come see the tactless idiot with no common sense?!’_

 To the questioning exasperated voice in his mind, Shin-Ah couldn’t answer.


	11. Chapter 11

There was a bulletin board in the market. Apparently the constantly large number of people gathering there made it count as settlement for the officials. Papers were pinned there, different in colors in Shin-Ah’s eyes, ranging from ivory white to yellow like rays of sunshine.

“… even though they have Seiryuu’s blood in their veins, they’re undoubtedly blind, aren’t they?”

Zeno said as he ripped one from the board. From what Shin-Ah could read, it’s a wanted poster. What happened in Seiryuu village, at least the version Shin-Ah had heard from peddlers, was written there. It’s also said that there was reward money for anyone who could bring Shin-Ah to the officials.

“The picture here isn’t cute at all. Your mask isn’t this grotesque looking! A cat! Nyaa-nyaa! Not this… what is this exactly, not even Zeno can say. And here I thought Zeno has seen everything.”

From his tone, apparently Zeno was only mad about that particular point. Shin-Ah couldn’t really understand the concept of cute, to be honest. He just knew that cute things prompted people to coo over them, also to touch them. If by seeing the drawing of a mask covered face which made Shin-Ah wanted to run to the nearest body of water to check on his reflection didn’t rouse such feeling even in Zeno then maybe it really wasn’t cute.

 “Also, you’re somehow seen as a head taller and bulkier than your current self, even though they hadn’t seen you since last summer. Though… Hey, Shin-Ah? Did you really use to smile this wide?”

“… not sure. Maybe?”

“Hmm… that’s hopeful. So Zeno remembered wrong. Of course Zeno’s wrong, you were so happy with Ao, weren’t you? Of course you’d smile wide. So Zeno’s goal is at least to make you smile as wide. Understood, understood.”

Remembered wrong. When they first met in a time Shin-Ah had already forgotten, apparently Zeno didn’t remember seeing Shin-Ah’s smile at all. Even though Zeno could remember so many things from years ago, he wasn’t sure about what happened two or three years ago. Hearing it made Shin-Ah doubt himself too.

“Well, if it’s like this though, it might take a while. You know, blaming others for Zeno’s own incompetence is bad, but those idiots sure make things tough for us. Then again, since their descriptions are way off the mark, we can relax a bit. Though to be safe, maybe we still shouldn’t settle anywhere yet, huh… a year or two from now should be alright though.”

“One or two years…”

“Yep, at that point, this all will either be forgotten already, or gotten so weird it’s impossible to connect to you. Zeno is sure of it.”

“I’ll forget too?”

“If that’s the case, it’d be good, isn’t it? Not that you will. Shin-Ah is too kind for that.”

Zeno said as he gave his hand for Shin-Ah to hold, smiling his usual smile which could always make Shin-Ah feel so much better about himself.

“All news seen, inventory filled, and ugly posters destroyed. Let’s go? We have a tail to lose.”

Still, the anxiousness remained.

Even though Zeno’s words and smile and warm hand helped, Shin-Ah couldn’t stop replaying what little he could remember about his life in Seiryuu Village in his mind, wondering how much he’d forgotten already.

* * *

“We’re in the middle of nowhere, aren’t we?”

Zeno asked out of a blue few days after they’ve left the market. He was just lazing around, sitting against a great tree and seemingly half-asleep. His words came out a bit slurred, and his eyes were closed. Lunch was bubbling near him, heated with small fire, the scent strong even to Shin-Ah who was away from the pot. If he hadn’t known that Zeno would never be not attentive to food, Shin-Ah would think that Zeno was sleeptalking.

 “I can tell where we are on the map. Zeno is very bright.”

“Are we more than two days away from the nearest settlement?”

“I… think so…?”

It’d depend on their pace, but Shin-Ah figured the nearest village would be about two days away on their usual speed.

“Then we’re in the middle of nowhere.”

“Oh.”

Creases had appeared between his eyebrows. It’s unlike him to be so open about his frustrations. When he opened his eyes to glare at the sun, his blue irises seemed as intense as when he wanted to kill the peddlers back in An-Hi’s village just for knowing rumors about Shin-Ah. Even though just the day before Zeno was giggling nonstop while muttering that baby animals are coming… It’s a sudden change of demeanor.

When he started fiddling with his medallion, Shin-Ah became sure that Zeno was really murderous at the moment. Why Zeno would be murderous, Shin-Ah thought the reason was quite obvious. He decided to sheathe his blade and stopped his morning practice, and just tried to calm Zeno down for the time being.

“We’re still being followed?”

“Apparently so. It’s them again, so it’s not likely to be coincidence.”

“I can’t see them.”

“A certain bluebird told Zeno just now. Still quite far, but they’re getting close.”

Bluebird? The only blue Shin-Ah could see was Zeno’s blue eyes. Surrounding them, sure there were some birds, but none of them were blue. Also, it’s the first time that Shin-Ah heard of anything suggesting that Zeno could talk to animals. Amazing. That’d explain why he always apologized and thanked the animals caught in his trap before butchering them, unlike Ao.

“Don’t worry, Zeno. I’ll tell Zeno when I see them. Then, we can pack quickly and go away.”

“… Nah, don’t bother. They haven’t done anything other being creepy. At this point, better to just confront them. Also… Shin-Ah, what are you doing?”

“Covering Zeno with fluff. Fluff is warm and nice and calming. Zeno needs it. Also, bells. Sound of it keeps me calm. And mask. Zeno can wear Ao’s mask. Yeah. I’ll go get it.”

When Shin-Ah returned with the mask, Zeno’s face was already adorned with slight exasperated smile. So it worked, Shin-Ah thought relieved as he climbed to Zeno’s lap and proceeded to put it on. Hoo… quite a sight. Zeno seemed so mesmerizing, even though he’s wearing skull-shaped mask.

“Don’t Zeno just look like a spirit now?”

“Never seen one, so I can’t say.”

“My head is heavy.”

As expected. It’s why Shin-Ah hadn’t started wearing it too, even though he wanted to so bad. Zeno seemed like a teenager despite his real age, maybe around fifteen, and even he still said it’s heavy. So it’s really would take a while…

Or maybe not.

“It’s because Zeno is thinking too hard. It’ll be lighter when you’re calm. Special circumstances. I’ll let Zeno drink alcohol too, if you want. Just this time, I’ll allow it. Though leave a flask alone for Ryokuryuu.”

Zeno laughed sheepishly, his head moving and making Shin-Ah stop due to the difficulty of tying bells to the horn.

“… you’ve drank them already, haven’t you?”

“Well, yesterday’s moon was beautiful, so… Ah, but Zeno left one for Ryokuryuu’s share, no worries!”

It’s getting closer to summer, so the sky was getting clearer. Shin-Ah supposed the full moon did seem really pretty yesterday. Despite what Shin-Ah had heard about proper moon-viewing, with alcohol and dumplings, he never expected Zeno to drink at all. Despite how old he really was, Zeno seemed no older than fifteen, so Shin-Ah wasn’t sure if the ‘NO DRINKING’ rule applied to him or not.

He should have known though. Zeno’s not really one to follow rules. He seemed to be the type who can always fine loopholes in anything.

“Maybe Zeno’s like this because of the alcohol. Ao was always in pain after drinking.”

“It’s not. To Zeno alcohol is just like juice. No worries, Zeno won’t get drunk. I’ve never get drunk.”

“…”

“Eh?! Is Zeno doubted? Zeno really haven’t got drunk ever! Probably won’t ever! Really! Honest!”

Cute is like children on the village, like small animals on the forest. Shin-Ah had that belief even though he couldn’t understand what ‘cute’ really meant. People on his old village only called other children and small animals cute, mostly while cooing and patting. Zeno… well, no one had ever called Shin-Ah cute, so he had hard time believing meanie teaser Zeno. But Zeno acted similarly to everyone else when encountering cute beings, albeit more exaggerated.

“Zeno won’t lie. I know. I believe Zeno.”

“That’s great. It’s good that you understand.”

On a whim, Shin-Ah tried placing his small hand on the crown of Zeno’s head. He never really understood them and their feeling before, but at that time it felt like Shin-Ah could. He got the urges too. For some reason, Zeno seemed so endearing with his strained and nervous laughter, beads of sweat coming out from his skin, cheeks turning slight pink.

“Zeno, so cute.”

Shin-Ah tried saying as he patted Zeno’s golden hair, finding himself liking the softness before getting pushed away as Zeno got into a coughing fit.

* * *

Zeno commented that he’d probably created a deadly technique. Probably, anyone who’s not Ouryuu would die from it. Zeno said he felt his heart stopping. Shin-Ah didn’t really get it, but one thing was certain.

“Progress, isn’t it? Shin-Ah who’s barely able to use adjective to describe people is using another in addition too. Yosh. It’s great, it’s great. Slow and steady is fine, isn’t it?”

Progress, he said. He’d seen progress, and he seemed happy about it. That was about Shin-Ah’s illness no doubt, which was said to be caused by trauma. About his difficulty in letting anything shown on his face.

Shin-Ah wondered if he smiled just then. He touched his cheeks and tried to feel any difference as he waited for Zeno to stop coughing and finish his water.

(Shin-Ah had learnt his lesson. It’s not good to try to help someone in coughing fit by pounding their backs or chests or stomachs. If it’s not Zeno, they could die. Painfully. Very painfully.)

“Zeno calmer now?”

“Yeah. Zeno is fine now. Thanks. Better than fine even. Wow… it sure felt nostalgic…Never thought that realizing that I really did remember wrong could be this relieving… I really need to fulfill my promise with you, aren’t I? It’s been a year and we haven’t played much at all…”

“Promise? Play?”

“Ah, not quite sure about going to your place again, but Zeno certainly promised to play with you. Well, in reality we haven’t played much though. Right, we’ll play a lot then. After your sword practice, studies and my chores… Wait, if that’s the case I-Spy while stargazing is the only thing we can do, isn’t it? Waa… going against Seiryuu Shin-Ah… need to step up my game…”

Shin-Ah climbed to Zeno’s lap again after the older dragon had put away his water flask, and started peeling the things he’d put on Zeno’s head one by one. Starting from the bells. 

“Zeno, bad habit. Zeno is distracting me. We’re still talking about the group following us. Stop it with the games for now.”

Shin-Ah scolded as he re-tied the bells to his mask, lips unconsciously pursed a bit due to slight frustration. He'd known that Zeno would always find ways to avoid certain topics, and usually Shin-Ah wouldn't press him, but since it's a problem mostly related to Shin-Ah himself he'd like to hear about it nevertheless. Leaving Zeno to deal with his own problem privately was one thing, leaving Zeno to handle even Shin-Ah's was another.

 “… right, sorry.”

Zeno said seemingly earnestly as he shifted, sitting up straighter than before. He didn't like it, but had given in. He did say Shin-Ah should just ask if he wanted anything. 

“How can they keep on finding us?”

“No clue.”

“Maybe from dowsing? Like what Zeno taught me?”

“It’s supposed to be impossible for non-dragons. Don’t think Abi taught anyone else about it too… Maybe they do have someone spiritually enlightened though. Maybe they have their own messenger bluebird.”

Uncovering Zeno’s face, the creases between his brows were still there. His blue eyes still reminding Shin-Ah of lightning and thunder, scary and yet mesmerizing, although a bit calmer now.

“We have one?”

“Yeah. He’s always here. He’s shy, but I think Shin-Ah can hear him sometimes. He loves you too much to leave.”

Shin-Ah didn’t think he could, but decided to not question it. Unconsciously he glanced around, trying to find the bluebird in question. Just like before, there’s not a single blue colored bird in sight. He’s shy, so it’s hard to look? Or maybe it’s related to what Zeno said, about only the ‘spiritually enlightened’ being able to see, whatever that meant?

“So… we should catch their bluebird? Have it for dinner… maybe?”

The serious question asked about the serious situation they were in was only met with a loud laughter.


	12. Chapter 12

They had fried bird for dinner, though the color of its feather wasn’t blue. Zeno was still laughing. Really laughing. It’s been hours and he still hadn’t let it go. He held his bird with trembling hands, his chin close to his chest and whole body shaking.

Shin-Ah took a sip of the leftover soup from lunch. He wasn’t sure which killed his appetite more, hysterical Zeno due to Shin-Ah’s bird related suggestion or the fact Zeno could possibly understand birds and had gotten help from them. He eyed his share and while he’s determined to finish it, because it’d be rude to the bird otherwise, it’s not really appetizing.

“Have bluebird… their bluebird… for dinner… BUHAHAHA!”

“Zeno is laughing too much.”

“Sorry, sorry… Let me… Shin-Ah, you’re really the cutest. No contest. Hahaha…!“

“I don’t know what’s funny with what I said too...”

After dinner (which really took longer than usual because Zeno couldn’t stop laughing), Shin-Ah helped Zeno clean the dishes. It was dark, and Zeno couldn’t see that well even with the light of bonfire, so it’s one of those times when Zeno didn’t insist on doing it himself.

If left until morning, they might attract animals. If Shin-Ah isn’t allowed to help, it wouldn’t be properly cleaned, so animals would come anyway. So for that night, Zeno let Shin-Ah wash the dishes, while he settled on wiping them to dry. Shin-Ah took it seriously, rustling of the leaves somehow loud in his ears.

Ao said even if he’s Seiryuu, always to extra careful at night. If one beast is seen, that’d mean there’s at least another dozen close-by. Even if there’s not even one in sight, always be vigilant. It’s quite windy, so it’s harder to differentiate. Whether the rustles were due to the wind or not, Shin-Ah couldn’t be sure.

Shin-Ah wondered if the worry would be enough to keep him awake, because as the owner of the better eyes he felt responsible for watching out for possible animal attack.

Also, for the group of entertainers supposedly still following them, which up until that moment still invisible to even his Seiryuu eyes. They needed to be looked out too.

_‘Stay inside, don’t go wandering around. Didn’t that old woman tell you the same thing? Really, after what that old woman said, maybe you really should stab this Zeno once in a while.’_

Well, it’s just for the sake of being careful. Nothing wrong with that. It’s also most likely because Zeno figured that Shin-Ah would hate having to deal with people more than wild animals, since the first usually had long term consequences when accidentally (or not so accidentally, it wouldn’t be surprising if Zeno snap sometime soon to be honest) killed while the latter if killed would only mean more for dinner.

And Zeno did seem bothered.

Before he got into laughing fit he was.

(Yeah, even though he’s annoying, he’s doing his best. Please, don’t get mad at him…)

“Abi had a bluebird, see.”

Zeno said finally, after his laughing had subsided.

“A real bluebird, not bird-like otherworldly being which Zeno meant on our talk earlier. Visible and audible living breathing egg-laying bluebird. They were very close too. It’s rare to see Abi without Azu. Ah, Azu was the bluebird’s name. Pretty and small and cute and blue, kinda like-“

Zeno suddenly stopped, and for an instance he seemed a bit surprised with himself. He looked at his hand, then to Shin-Ah, back and forth like that for a short while.

“…? What’s wrong…?”

“Uuh… nothing! Anyway, thanks to that, Zeno has been thinking of bluebirds as Seiryuu’s precious animal.  To think that you’d so easily said it, with your voice that sounds similar to Abi, it’s hilarious to me. Abi must be crying up there in heaven right now, having heard that kind of suggestion from his own successor. Well, that’s one reason for it.”

“The other being?”

“Aah, well, bluebirds are symbol of happiness see? To be exact, they were, I guess? It’s rarely heard these days. Eating even other’s happiness, what a glutton you are, Seiryuu Shin-Ah.”

The birds just became even more unappetizing, and Shin-Ah felt his body threatening to throw it up. Instinctively, he covered his mouth. At least, despite laughing a bit still, Zeno had the decency to seem apologetic this time.

“Sorry, sorry. Bad thing to say to kind Shin-Ah, my bad. But really, it’s just something people said for a while because of a silly thing that happened to Abi and the others. Not related to mythical things at all.  And now that Zeno thought about it, probably no one outside our circle believed it.”

“… really?”

“Yep. Only those who knew us believed it. More like as a joke, really. Don’t worry, you wouldn’t cause anything from eating anything. Although… the reverse might.”

When Shin-Ah realized it, Zeno’s fingers were already on his jugular, just there and barely touching, and he seemed thoughtful. Most likely Zeno was now considering the possibility of Shin-Ah being sick because of something he ate, not due to the ideas accidentally planted from Zeno’s too puzzling words and action, and was checking on Shin-Ah’s temperature and pulse. His blue eyes visibly strained, clearly to search for abnormality despite the darkness.

“I’m fine. I’m not feeling cold. Just don’t want to eat much. Not bird.”

“Losing appetite is one sign of illness, you know. It’s still quite cold, we’ve been staying out all the while, and you must be stressed from worrying a lot of things. You have trouble sleeping lately too, because of it, Zeno thinks. Or maybe you’re trying not to sleep on purpose? Anyway, it wouldn’t be surprising if you caught something.”

Shin-Ah swallowed, suddenly nervous of the possibility of it being true.

Images appearing in his mind, of panicked, worried and sad Zeno, and An-Hi’s voice resounded, unusually loud in his ears. Almost as loud as the voice of his precious person.

It was a reminder of how Zeno could do the worst thing anyone could think of in the case of Shin-Ah being troubled, physically or mentally, by outside influence or just natural occurrence. At that point of time, little doubt existed in Shin-Ah’s mind that the worst would be Zeno coming to the group stalking them for the sole purpose of eliminating them all, just because he must be perceiving them as Shin-Ah’s main source of stress.

Must avoid at all cost.

“... understood. I’ll tell Zeno if I’m feeling worse later. And I’ll sleep early tonight.”

“Much appreciated.”

As expected, Zeno seemed relieved from the response and ruffled Shin-Ah’s hair just like every other time Shin-Ah agreed with him. The small dragon didn’t know what kind of emotion he showed through his half-covered face, or what Zeno could see even in the dark that he seemed a bit amused and hurt at the same time, but it couldn’t be a smile.

“Trust Zeno? Zeno said he will protect you, right? Zeno really will, you know? So, Shin-Ah, don’t worry and rest easy, rest easy. Leave it to Zeno to keep watch.”

He said while taking out what he’d called ‘Shin-Ah’s calming assortments’ and made what appeared to be a makeshift bed next to him.

Shin-Ah did trust Zeno, and he knew that he’d be safe as long as Zeno’s there. He knew that Zeno would do anything too. That’s the scary part, to be honest. Hesitantly though, he nodded in agreement and settled on the spot prepared for him, using Zeno’s thigh as pillow.

What an unsettling smile he put on.

He did say that it’s best to confront them at this point, but…

For other reason than his usual fear of being near human being in general, Shin-Ah dreaded it very much.

At this rate, forget settling down, even visiting a small village would be risky.

_‘Great. Just great. The one thing preventing you from having a proper home is more blood to Seiryuu’s name and you’re with a happy go lucky monster whose first solution to everything in any situation seem to be to kill. One or two years, my foot.’_

More reason to look out for possible danger. For everyone’s sake.

Thank heaven he’s the one with the Seiryuu eyes.

Speaking of which, since Shin-Ah didn’t feel sick (at least, not THAT sick), he didn’t think his vision would be affected. Full power, very high clarity. As usual, Shin-Ah would think. But still, no matter which direction he looked, no one was in sight.

They’re good.

To be able to escape Seiryuu’s sight, they’re very good.

Then again, Seiryuu’s eyes aren’t perfect.

Shin-Ah couldn’t see things right in front of him well, case in point like the jam which got smeared on his mask when he ate sweet buns. Seeing through is possible, but Shin-Ah would have to strain his eyes to do it and it’s not something he could do unconsciously. It’s hard enough to see through his mask. Being in a forest with thick greeneries like where they were rendered his vision to almost the same as normal human’s. Add to that, Shin-Ah himself became inattentive whenever he’s thinking hard of something.

Which was almost all the time, to be honest. People (and admittedly, specially Zeno) almost always confuses him.

_‘There’s nothing good about them. Useless and troublesome.’_

Maybe they’re not really outstanding after all…?

Ao never really relied on them too. That’s why he could fight more or less unaffected even after his vision deteriorated. To listen is better, he would always say.

The sound of rustling was still loud in his ears.

So loud and from every direction, it felt like they’re surrounded by hiding enemies.

“… Is it good idea though… to sleep?”

“Of course. More sleep means more growing for Shin-Ah. Zeno won’t though, so leave all night watch to Zeno until you stop growing. Yep, good idea. Please let it be so.”

“I keep on hearing rustling… maybe wind, but…”

“You do? Zeno haven’t heard anything. And it’s not that windy tonight, is it? The fire was easy to lit.”

Shin-Ah really regretted mentioning that. For a second, Zeno seemed really grim and scary. Of course, Zeno being Zeno, he smiled as wide as usual the next.

“You’re too worried. Overly conscious of the surrounding because of that. We’re in a forest, so it could be cute baby animals you’re hearing, you know?”

“Baby wolf?”

“No, baby wolves won’t leave their den. Heavens, you’re too tense. I know. Maybe focusing on something else will make you feel all better, yeah? Zeno will tell you a story then. A bedtime story! Zeno has always wanted to tell one to someone. Horror story would be perfect, just like what the others used to tell before Zeno on his bedtime even though I wasn’t a kid.”

Apparently Zeno didn’t count the stories behind constellations he told, which Shin-Ah rarely listened until finish because he rarely could fight his heavy eyelids, as bedtime stories.

Though… horror? That’s an unexpected genre to be told to a child for bedtime story. Shin-Ah had seen so many children being told bedtime stories, and it was never horror. Everything always ended with ‘happily ever after’. Which of Zeno’s friends told him it’s alright to scare children to sleep? Shin-Ah’s bet was on Shuten.

“Ah, no, not Shuten. Guen did, in fact. Not that unexpected, or it’s not because he’s mean either. Back then, it’s all gruesome bloody stories being told to kids before bed. More effective to instill life lessons through fear, they’d say. Apparently though, more and more realized that seeing their happy excited face is better than their terrified one, Guen included, so it’s getting happier and less bloody over the years.”

Well, to Shin-Ah, there’d be nothing scarier than the nightmares he used to see every night. To indulge Zeno would do no harm. Besides, Shin-Ah doubted he’d be affected much. Not when he’s all wrapped up in Ao’s things, and he’s literally sleeping on Zeno.

_‘Right. Good thing you’re a light sleeper.’_

Really good, Shin-Ah thought. Can’t let Zeno leave. Someone could get killed. Their plans could be ruined.

“I did say horror, but, it’s not something that’d scare you, Zeno thinks? Huum… and Zeno honestly thought a bit surprise would help you… The mood is perfect too.”

“… just go on. If I can’t sleep it’d be better for me too.”

“Whoa, that’s terrible! Alright, alright, no horror it is. Let’s see… once upon a time, a lonely monster met a fallen angel and fell in love.”

* * *

Zeno’s idea of distraction worked, because Shin-Ah listened until the end and couldn’t stop thinking of the story.

Angels couldn’t live on earth, they couldn’t stand the toxin in earth’s air. The angel was already very weak and sickly when she met the monster.

“It’s alright. I’m used to it. Soon, I’ll return to the sky anyway.”

She said with a smile, and at that moment the monster realized something. Even though the angel had seen the tell-tales of his monstrosity, to the kind and gentle her, the creature in front of her wasn’t a monster. She was seeing a human.

Perhaps it’s because of the toxic air, weakening her. Perhaps if she’s healthy, she’d be able to tell. That’s why, perhaps he should be glad for the angel’s weakness.

But the monster couldn’t bear seeing her sick like that. So, he pretended to be human that the angel could only see him as and tried to get medicine to make her feel better until the other angels come to get her.

“If only time would stop…”

The monster wished for it too, but it’s best if the angel returns to the sky, so he didn’t say anything.

Even so, for the lonely monster, being left behind by the angel would be very sad. After a while he couldn’t bear the thought of returning to his old lonely way of life before meeting the angel.

On a whim, he asked her to marry him.

After she said yes, he snapped.

He screamed out his frustration and anger and plea towards the god who’d made him a monster in the first place. He’d do anything, so make her human.

“Let her stay. Let me be with her.”

“No… she can stay an angel.”

“It’s alright if it’s just for a day longer. Please… I’ll do whatever you want. You can make me your slave, and I wouldn’t mind! Just… please…”

But, the god didn’t respond.

And the days continued until it’s time for the angel to return to the sky.

“Hey… lets meet again in the sky.”

She said, for what she could see was not a monster but a human, and humans would join the angels in the sky after their deaths.

“Perhaps, the god did listen. Monsters has no way to communicate with gods. Maybe the god did delay the time the other angels scheduled to get her, without the monster knowing. There’s no telling, really. Later, the monster realized that he was very cruel for asking such thing. To keep her in pain for his own selfishness, as expected of a monster, he thought.”

Realizing that, long since the angel return to the sky, the monster decided to wait for the prophesied apostles of the gods to be reborn, and swore to fulfil his oath to the god.

The god might have granted his wish, so the monster swore to do what’s surely expected of him.

In time of chaos, he’d protect them. He’d make sure nothing happens to them. He’d keep them safe and happy, and he’d assist them in ending the dark time they’re going to be born into.

And surely, everyone would live happily ever after.

To Shin-Ah, it’s an odd story.

The ending words made it sound a bit alarming. The ending was still unclear. What would the monster do to protect the apostles, it’s still unsaid.

“It sounds… like… a beginning of… horror story.”

“It is, isn’t it?”

Shin-Ah remembered Zeno responding in his hazy consciousness.

Perhaps long ago, before the stories were changed, the story would continue into a horror story, where the monster would destroy everything for the sake of protecting the apostles.

Or maybe, the monster never thought that he had to repay the god for the time he might have given him. Maybe, he came to hate the apostles and harmed them instead as revenge to the god.

There were a lot of possibilities. None seem like it’d end well, at least the possibilities Shin-Ah could thought up.

“Moral of the story, you can be blessed without realizing it.”

Not realizing a blessing isn’t a good thing in Shin-Ah’s opinion. Why would it be a good lesson? Maybe… to remember to not ask so much? To remember that there’s always those who suffer more than us?

But, from the story context, it didn’t sound right. It’s not like the monster get to see someone less fortunate than him to make him realize that he was blessed. Sure, having met the angel was a blessing but the monster surely realized that. If it’s about the angel, then the better moral would be ‘nothing last forever’.

“… did you make the story yourself, Zeno?”                 

“Zeno got found out, huh.”

“Yeah. It’s… weird. And… hard to understand.”

Zeno laughed, and said it’s not unexpected. Shin-Ah almost always found him weird after all.

“This isn’t horror story though, thankfully. No one will get killed by the monster. The big sis up above the tree too, Zeno won’t do anything to her. Promise. ”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late update due to the video I made. Sorry for the wait, people.  
> Oh, do comment on my video too, alright?  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKDUN0QJCls  
> It's about a certain cowardly bastard.

Of course Shin-Ah wouldn’t be able to sleep after being told that.

It felt like being doused with ice water. He sat up with a gasp, blood rushing to his head and it’s dizzying.

Experience over skill. Even half-blind Ao could see more than him sometimes in the past. As someone who apparently had spent most of his very long life in wilderness of course Zeno would be more alert to the surrounding.

But, to think that they’d be on a tree… Add to that a girl!

(Not that Shin-Ah ever doubted that girls could climb trees, but he had never seen even the strongest agile girl climb trees because their clothing seemed to made it hard to do so, so the idea never really crossed his mind)

The girl was the one who spoke to Shin-Ah in the market few days before. She was right on top of the tree Zeno’s leaning on, leisurely eating what seemed to be riceballs. When he’s lying down, focusing his everything on Zeno’s voice and expression, she was in Shin-Ah’s blindspot.

It’s not surprising that Shin-Ah couldn’t see her. He’d realized that his eyes weren’t perfect too. But, the fact that Shin-Ah didn’t expect her to be there remains and _that_ made him feel bad.

Always be vigilant, always consider everything, that’s what Ao said, and yet…

Thank heavens Zeno chose not to hide it.

And not drug Shin-Ah to sleep to deal with it secretly. Which Shin-Ah knew he could, the herbs for it was plenty in his bag.

Shin-Ah never felt like he could trust Zeno more than he did that night.

(Although Shin-Ah was determined to follow Zeno, doubts always in his heart. Zeno’s weirdness and secrecy never helped clearing it)

“Oh, you found me. ‘sup boys.”

She said with a mock salute as she chewed on her riceball, one hand rummaging her bag and taking out a flask of what Shin-Ah assumed was liquor. She seemed as satisfied as Zeno was when An-Hi gave him liquor on New Year.

She’s either been there for a while, or was planning to stay for a while.

Zeno glanced up and sighed.                         

“Big sis, there’s a limit of how suspicious and creepy you can be, you know?”

Somehow that coming from Zeno sounds wrong.

_“That’s because he’s a suspicious and creepy bastard himself.”_

Unconsciously, Shin-Ah shook his head in silent denial. Zeno’s not at all creepy, in his opinion. Though the suspicious part was harder to deny, but then again Shin-Ah too would seem suspicious in the eyes of many. Maybe suspicious is just shared trait of dragons.

Or people who lives on the road in general, maybe.

But still, the woman didn’t have nice calming aura like Zeno. It’s rather relieving to be fearful, to be honest. Zeno said that it’s problematic to trust people so easily too, even if that person was Zeno himself and he’s happy to be trusted.

So then…

It’s still acceptable, for Zeno to be holding Shin-Ah’s blade so tightly.

It’s a natural reaction, surely. Shin-Ah used his eyes too without thinking in the past. And, in this case, Zeno was still calm. Still thinking clearly. Yeah, it’s just in case. For safety. Present is more important than future repercussion. Better safe than sorry.

And he did promise.

The woman jumped down, landing with a thud gracefully while still holding her flask of liquor. Not one drop spilled from it, even though she had surely somersaulted on her way down. She bowed slightly before gave what sounded like excuse why she was up above the tree.

“Just got here and thought that bothering you at this point of night would be suicide to be honest. Decided to wait until morning. I still want to live, you know. The tree is perfect, you know. Get to watch you and all. Supposedly it’s the best spot to not attract attention, but maybe I was lied to? You found me pretty quick.”

Zeno seemed a bit amused now, for some reason.

“Suicide, huh.”                              

“Yep. Going to you in the dark on my own is just asking for it, isn’t it? As you say, suspicious. You may be careless, but you’re obviously protective of your lil bro. One careless move and I can have a knife thrown at my head.”

She very pointedly looked at Zeno’s right hand, and as if in challenge, Zeno only gripped it even tighter despite his laugh.

“Relax, big bro, I come unarmed and with my own food. Speaking of which, want some? I have candies too.”

“… Shin-Ah would like that, I guess. You’re still nauseous, right?”

Zeno turned to him suddenly, and Shin-Ah nodded in agreement. He’s very sure his nausea was due to another cause entirely though, at that moment.

Shin-Ah’s own instinct to kill stranger was getting stronger after they left the village after all. Instinctively, Shin-Ah moved closer to Zeno. Unwanted new lesson from Zeno, whenever he felt insecure about his own power he could just focus on the invincible Ouryuu’s heart, made him felt so much worse.

Confront them, and now that they’re here, let’s get it over it.

Zeno was saying that.

_‘Great, and she had to come alone too. Maybe it’s for peace offering, but still. Moth coming to fire is this very thing.’_

 The girl settled on the spot across from Zeno, jumping a bit before folding her legs apparently midair and already sitting crosslegged when Shin-Ah realized it.

“So. The name is Delima. Big bro is… Zeno, was it? What’s yours, boy?”

She said as she handed her bag of candies to Zeno, who ate one with poorly concealed dubious expression plastered on his face (for Zeno in normal standard, not just to Shin-Ah’s Seiryuu eyes) before handing the rest to Shin-Ah.

“Uhm… I’m… Shin-Ah…”

“Ah, Zeno and Shin-Ah, huh. I didn’t ask, but aren’t you two too young to be out and about on your own?”

“We get that a lot.”

Delima took out another riceball from her bag and ate it with a hum of apprehension.

“How old are-“

“Never bothered with the number to count or remember. Shin-Ah is five. Let’s cut the chase though, alright? Suspicious girl, what do you want?”

Shin-Ah felt that if he was cured already, he’d cringe from Zeno’s tone. Delima didn’t seem affected though, her face only showed slight confusion as if she’d expected Zeno to know the reason already.

“Hmm… well, I came because Shin-Ah invited me.”

Shin-Ah choked on his candy.

* * *

Once again, the voice asked exasperatedly.

_‘Why did you have to put it like that…’_

To be sure, it’s best to ask Zeno.

Shin-Ah did say that back at the market in his panicked state of having to deal with the merchandize alone.

“Shin-Ah...”                                                                                                                                              

For the second time that week Shin-Ah wanted to be as far away as possible from Zeno despite his smile. He’s not mad, but he’s close to frustrated, somehow Shin-Ah could tell.

“I’m… I’m sorry… I’m really sorry. I panicked.”

“Yeah, Zeno understand. It’s Zeno’s miss too. Zeno really shouldn’t leave you all alone. Ah, not that you’re not capable and all, but it’s really bad to leave anyone alone in the middle of a crowd, you know? And a child no less, Abi would kill me if he knew… No doubt he’d known. He’d put a curse on me, probably… Children are the cutest! You could have gotten kidnapped!”

Shin-Ah seriously doubted that anyone would kidnap him. Or ‘could’ kidnap him. But considering that he’s technically wanted (despite the really off the mark description), and there really was a group of suspicious people following them around, maybe Zeno’s fear was not unfounded.

“Boys, I can hear you.”

Delima said as she crossed her arms, not at all sounded offended. In fact she seemed a bit amused.

“So what, big bro? You’re the boss and you’re not accepting customer at the moment?”

“… no, the one who has the say in here is Shin-Ah.”

“He is? That’s surprising.”                                                                                         

It was. Shin-Ah knew how selfless (dangerously so) Zeno could be, but to be told outright like that was still surprising. It’s weird for an adult to leave things to children… isn’t it? It’s not normal. Usually it’d be the other way around.

But then again, Zeno really never order Shin-Ah to do anything. He always asked, and always seemed to have prepared alternative plan in case Shin-Ah refused.

_‘It’s because he knows how stupid he can be, pay it no mind.’_

 Although he can be very persuasive.

 “If you said he’d invited you, then I’ll hear you out. In the morning though, Shin-Ah needs to sleep and I’m not leaving him or bringing him to your camp.”

“That’s great. Mirah is getting scary by the day, I really could use a medical opinion on her.”

“I’m not a doctor.”

“Well you seem like you know your stuffs, so you’re good enough. It’s just a case of sore throat anyway.”

Delima yawned as she said it.

“Welp… it’s late and it’s bad manner to let a girl go alone in the forest, right boys? Good night…”

She continued as she leaned back to a tree and closing her eyes, her muscles relaxing almost in an instant after that as she drifted to sleep.

“…”

Shin-Ah was struck speechless.

_‘Well, that’s quick.’_

Amazing, whether it’s coincidence or not, this girl got what she wanted almost with no negotiation needed at all. Because of him, Shin-Ah knew. Zeno didn’t seem to be happy with her, but because she mentioned Shin-Ah, he seemed to be determined to go along until the end.

“… I’m… sorry…”

Sighing once, Zeno then ruffled Shin-Ah’s hair.

“Not your fault. Let’s make the most of it and try to get as much money as we can. She is after all a customer. It’s good opportunity for our stay in big city later, isn’t it? Like before, can I leave the pricing to you?”

“… yeah. I’ll ask a lot.”

“Nice. And don’t stray far from me, alright?”

As always. Like with Ao too. Not that there’s any reason for Shin-Ah to leave Zeno’s side.

_‘It’s important now that you’re going to be with strangers, so he said it again, huh?’_

Though he did leave Shin-Ah alone few times, on the reasoning that ‘Zeno will be able to feel you if something went wrong!’.

“It’s different than before, Shin-Ah. Zeno knows most people in An-Hi’s village, so I can feel at ease leaving you alone with the kids and everyone else.”

There’s that time in the market though.

“That was Zeno being stupid, sorry about it.”

Apparently Shin-Ah had said it out loud.

Seeing Zeno’s sheepish looking smile would make normal people smile too, Shin-Ah felt like that.

People’s faces are like mirrors, if shown a smile, a smile would be reflected back.

(That’s why, Zeno will at least try to keep on smiling, Shin-Ah had learnt. At least, Shin-Ah’s illness was one reason for it)

“Then, continuing from where we left off, Zeno will keep watch, so… Please rest?”

Even though he tried to, as expected, there’s no way he’d be able to.


	14. Chapter 14

Mirah that’s been mentioned few times by Delima was a woman seemingly couple years older than her, though unlike Delima, she seemed as delicate as she could be. Silver hair as long as her waist with blood red gemstones braided into it.

Red, very unlike Delima’s green. More red and bloodlike than her brother’s (assuming that the guy who was with her when Shin-Ah first noticed her following him was his brother). Now that Shin-Ah looked around though, to the boys and girls in the troupe (because they seemed too young to be called men and women), no one was wearing the same colored gemstone.

Orange, blue… purplish… white small balls…

Everything was pretty and sparkly. Even though not as pretty and sparkly as Zeno’s medallion.

Shin-Ah glanced up to see Zeno’s face. He was looking at Shin-Ah’s too, teasing smile on his face.

Feeling his cheeks burning up, Shin-Ah looked away.

Heavens, Zeno would definitely bring it up again later.

“Why would you guys do this to me…”

The small woman said hoarsely, barely heard. It seemed like making sound was hard for her. Of course, it made the others even more convinced that she needed help then tried to convince her to trust the strange pair that was Zeno and Shin-Ah.

Her fear of stranger seemed to rival Shin-Ah’s, while the others were seemingly as impulsive as Zeno.

Which made Shin-Ah wonder what kind of deadly skill she could possibly had.

Zeno laughed when Shin-Ah asked that.

“Not that Zeno doesn’t think she can beat someone to a pulp, but I think she’s just more careful than the rest of them.”

That would make sense. If the whole group of eight were all like wildboar (like to charge through things without thought, like the Hakuryuus as Zeno had observed) then they would have been dead long time ago. This Mirah, who seemed like she’s one of the oldest person in the group, must be the one who held their reins.

“Speaking of which, clearly we’re not wanted, so can we go now?”

First rule of medicinal work, don’t do anything the customer doesn’t want.

When Zeno’s blue eyes found Mirah’s figure, just after she’d started talking with her ear gratingly hoarse voice, Shin-Ah knew that in his mind a list of possible cause and cure already appeared. He’s just not saying anything because the person in question hadn’t asked and the second rule of medicinal work was to not disclose any information of patients’ illness to others.

(Yeah, even before Zeno consulted An-Hi about Shin-Ah’s illness, he asked Shin-Ah first if it’s allowed to do so, since it’d involve unmasking his face for the examination)

(Shin-Ah agreed reluctantly, and was only a bit calmer when the old woman said it’s fine to keep his eyes closed and stay on Zeno’s lap)

“No! Just… wait a moment, I’ll convince her. Give me five minutes!”

“… am I really that easy?”

In which after that, Delima and some other people dragged Mirah away.

“One, two…”

Shin-Ah didn’t know how to describe the feeling bubbling in him when he heard Zeno’s faint counting.

If Zeno’s really that set on going, then Mirah’s illness must be mild at best. Zeno’s not the kind of person who’d ignore someone in pain, surely.

Zeno didn’t ignore Shin-Ah. Had never ignored Shin-Ah.

_‘You’re a dragon though. And he has told you repeatedly that he’s not a good person.’_

Unconsciously, Shin-Ah shook his head. It couldn’t be true. Still, he couldn’t help but to wonder and seek assurance from the older dragon himself. Being stared at by the Seiryuu probably brought out the worst feeling possible because Zeno seemed to realized he’s being stared at and if the way he looked away and scratching the back of his neck were any indication, Zeno was feeling uncomfortable.

With a monster still not completely asleep deep inside Shin-Ah and whispering unwanted encouragement to eat _at least_ the willing older dragon, Shin-Ah wasn’t too surprised.

Their eyes met, and after few moments, Zeno let out a sigh.

“I have an idea what she has, but the one who can probably confirm it here is only you. At least, the painless way.”

An-Hi had said to never say anything about the illness if it’s still not certain. For treatment too, only give for what you know…

Trial and error isn’t recommended.

So…

“What can I do?”

“If she decided to give in… hm, I don’t think it’s necessary to take off your mask… Rather, I’d prefer if you don’t and we try keep your power a secret for now, but may I rely on you to see what’s inside her throat?”

“You mean… see through her?”

“Not exactly through her… through her skin, muscles and cartilage, to be exact. See _inside_ of her. Well, I _know_ you can do it, but are you willing?”

If seeing hearts is possible, then of course seeing someone’s throat is also possible.

But… to deliberately see inside someone… it’d be a first. Zeno had asked repeatedly to look inside him, but Shin-Ah never wanted to. Because it’s dangerous and Zeno was precious and Shin-Ah didn’t want the off chance he loses control, no matter how much Zeno probably wished for it.

“I don’t think I can.”

“Right. Sorry for asking.”

“Ah… uhm… no, I mean… I don’t know… what to look, what the inside of someone’s neck would normally look like… I just know the shape of hearts, so… “

Blue eyes widened in surprise, and when Shin-Ah realized it he was already picked up and on eye level with Zeno.

He seemed the happiest in a long time.

“No hearts?”

“No need to look at hearts, promise. Not that I think you can paralyze anyone with your eyes covered. And not that I’ll ever ask you to uncover them.”

After a blink, everything turned black and red.

From somewhere close, heated debate could be heard.

* * *

“Is he asleep?”

A man asked Zeno. He really reminded Zeno of Delima, so maybe he’s the one Shin-Ah said to be with Delima on the first day they noticed that they’re being followed. Brown gem was on the necklace he wore.

“You could say that.”

To be exact, Shin-Ah was looking inside of Zeno’s neck, studying the structure while trying to not look down to his heart. Still, not a good time to be talked to. Thankfully, Shin-Ah’s focus was exceptional, it’s doubtful that he’d hear anything else other than the whispering of his guardian spirit at the moment. Just to be safe, Zeno shifted his hand to the back on Shin-Ah’s head, so that whatever happen, he’d not look away.

Accidentally hurting Ouryuu would only surprise him, accidentally hurting normal person would just hurt him.

Zeno remembered when he had his hand devoured by Shin-Ah. Back then, it took minutes to recover. Since his healing was faster on deadlier injury, Zeno absentmindedly wondered how long it’d take for him to heal if his heart was to be stopped.

"Delima said you're his brother. I don't buy it."

Yeah, Shin-Ah not denying it surprised Zeno too. A part of him was glad that Shin-Ah thought of him that much, but most of him felt guilty because he honestly couldn't agree with the idea that they're siblings. There's Abi after all, so it felt weird to say the least. Still, staying quiet would be most sensible, since denying would just make them ask Further. 

Ah, maybe Shin-Ah thought the same. That'd make more sense.

"... he's my relative," he said in truth finally, because Zeno knew he's a terrible liar.

Very distantly related, but relative nevertheless. Abi's blood flowed in his veins. 

“I take it you haven’t been with him long.”

“About a year. I took him with me after his father died.”

Black smoke came out from the bells tied to Shin-Ah’s mask, no doubt only visible to Zeno. It suddenly felt like drowning.

So he’s embarrassed. How cute.

Zeno silently promised him to talk about it later, preferably over some sake and dumplings. Spirits love some good alcohol. Helps bring the living a bit closer to death, so easier to communicate to.

“A small kid with bounty on him. How nice of you.”

The sarcasm was very obvious, and Zeno just chuckled.

So he really did know about it. Who knew how long since the wanted posters was put up in the market. For the people here to have seen it wasn’t that surprising. Though it’s quite impressive that they noticed that the person drawn there was Shin-Ah.

“I’m not planning to sell him out for money, if that’s what you are thinking. In fact, it’s because I don’t want to that we’re living on the road like this. Few thousand rin isn’t that appealing to me, you know? I’ve felt happier with far less.”

Although, that couldn’t be said by everyone, Zeno supposed.

He studied the two boys there. Delima look-alike had his eyes focused on Shin-Ah, and it irked Zeno so much that he was grateful that the small dragon was on his hold. The other one was preparing food, but Zeno wondered if it’s just a front. He too was sneaking glance at him and Shin-Ah, and the vibe he got from him weren’t that good.

Faint bloodlust could be felt.

“Right. Of course. To have the owner of demon eyes dancing on your palm must be more rewarding than few thousand rin. I gotta say, it sure sounds nice.”

Zeno wondered if they’d die if he was to punch them with scaly fingers.

“… they know about me…,” Shin-Ah whispered with a tug to Zeno’s robe.

So he’s not that focused that he’s incapable of hearing the conversation…

As expected, coming with Delima was a mistake, huh…

Instinctively, Zeno held Shin-Ah tighter, while trying to formulate a plan which could possibly let him cut off his feet the fastest.

But then the dragon power would got found out…

Who cares. Ouryuu’s description didn’t say ‘self-mutilating creepy kid who can’t die’ anyway. Besides, who’d believe them? Hiding Shin-Ah would be top priority. Preferably without having to kill anyone, it’d only traumatize Shin-Ah further.

 “Wait, Giok. Maybe we misunderstood.”

The boy on cooking duty stood up, the knife he was using to cut the vegetables left behind. He seemed unsure of himself, but the bloodlust from him was almost without a trace.

“Well, I mean… It’s just the thought I have, there’s no way to be certain… He really could be someone who just wants to exploit the kid, but… He said he’s a relative, right? Don’t know about you, but admittedly I can see the resemblance... And, well, don’t you think that being relative could also mean…”

The boy with purplish gem on his bracelet seemed to struggle for words. Delima look-alike whom he’d called Giok earlier got impatient because of it, and to be honest so was Zeno. Something in his words made his plan formulating forgotten, and instead Zeno questioned himself in he really did look like Shin-Ah, and if they’re true to think of him as someone who only want to exploit the little dragon.

Wait, they started to sound like they’re _worried_ about Shin-Ah.

“Out with it, Shimizu.”

Giok said finally, almost like a bark.

“Don’t you think that means it’s possible he’s like Jae-Ha too? The dragons _are_ brothers, right?”


	15. Chapter 15

Admittedly, hearing Shimizu’s words, the first thought that came to Zeno’s mind was…

_‘Who’s Jae-Ha?’_

He clung to that thought, tried his best to ignore the others occupying his mind. Specially the thought about smashing Giok’s face to the big boulder he’d spotted nearby. Must contain self. Shin-Ah must learn that killing people (or violence in general, really) isn’t the only way out of a problem, and a good example must be set.

Even if Zeno was really angered. He didn’t really care about what people say about him, he could mostly laugh them off, but saying things about Shin-Ah was different matter. After his rudeness, Giok deserved a punch or two, in Zeno’s opinion.

Demonic eyes… that bastard. Saying that in Shin-Ah’s presence, reminding him that not everyone thought of him as a normal human child… Really, after the progress he’d made…

Zeno hoped Shin-Ah wouldn’t regress because of this. He was shocked enough in the market, somehow getting the idea that he was only brought along to help Ouryuu achieves death. Pure genius, it’s the only way Zeno hadn’t tried, but still he doubted it’d work. Just like how Guen and Shuten’s dragon strength were equal, there’s no way Shin-Ah’s Seiryuu eyes would be able to overpower Ouryuu’s immortality.

He failed miserably to focus on the matter about this possible dragon called Jae-Ha, Zeno realized.

It couldn’t be helped. Giok and Shimizu were currently debating whether it’s impossible or not for dragons to be related, because apparently someone had told them that their bond of brotherhood was only due to the dragon blood in their system, but Zeno even doubted that this Jae-Ha they’re talking about was a dragon.

After all, Ryokuryuu felt like he’s near Fuuga. Hakuryuu was as usual, in his village in the mountain. Hiryuu couldn’t be felt, not without help from the spirits, but she should be in Kuuto still. No one was nearby.

Still, the name resonated with something inside him. Hazy scenes of ‘maybes’ appearing in his mind, of another time and place, similar to the ones that plagued him in his dreams ever since he took Shin-Ah away with him. If it's Ryokuryuu... maybe he could have met with this group while still in the vicinity, since Ryokuryuu village was close by, and still managed to go to Fuuga. The speed could be explained with dragon power and possibly adrenaline rush.

Zeno held Shin-Ah tighter.

“Don’t worry. I’m here.”

He said to himself, but Shin-Ah nodded against him. It made him want to laugh a bit.

_‘Heaven, Shin-Ah… I’m trying to calm myself here. Why are you responding as if you’re the one I’m talking to?’_

After taking a deep breath, taking in the calming scent of blossoming flowers, Zeno decided that running away is futile.

“What are you saying… Haven’t you been listening to Mirah? None of them are really related!”

“But still! I mean, it’s not impossible, right?”

“If Jae-Ha’s ranting was any indication, yes, it’s impossible. He’s just using the kid!”

Though Giok and Shimizu seemed distracted, and Delima and the rest of them still hadn’t returned, Zeno didn’t think he’d be able to run while holding Shin-Ah in his powerless state. Also, cutting off his feet would only surprise Shin-Ah and the small child had had enough surprise for now.

That’s if Zeno’s dragon blood didn’t get excited, and his repeatedly warned about stupid tendency to deal with problems with violence didn’t happen. If that was to happen, chances were Shin-Ah’s progress would definitely regress further. He’d sworn off murder for now after all.

To consider so much in an instant, it’s amazing what the presence of someone else could affect even the instinctive impulsive musclehead like Zeno.

Black smoke came out from Shin-Ah’s bells, and sincerely, Zeno apologized.

_‘I’ll show him when he’s feeling better, I promise. Now is a bad time, big bro.’_

The feeling of breathlessness intensified, as if air was sucked out from his lungs. Tendrils circling his neck and prevent him from taking breaths. Normal person would have started writhing in pain, Zeno thought.

_‘Sorry, sorry. But… hey… don’t you think that Delima is better than these two? Do you think… we should call for her?’_

Right, Delima. Lesser evil was being around more members of this still suspicious group, preferably with Delima and the other girls. At least Delima didn’t say anything offensive about Shin-Ah. Maybe the other girls wouldn’t say anything insensitive too.

She said five minutes. Zeno’s count had only reached two hundred. Zeno was considering screaming when-

“YOU IDIOT!”

Thank heavens. Or Ao. Or anything or anyone which attracted her attention. Delima came jumping down from a tree branch as if she’d been jumping tree to tree like a monkey.

Zeno never thought he’d feel so happy to see someone other than the dragons before. Shimizu took steps back as if afraid he’d get hit, even though he’s covering for Zeno and though Delima seemed like she’d love to hit her idiotic relative she didn’t do anything to any of them. Yet.

“The kid is here! What are you doing screaming out stuffs like that?! I can hear you from down the river! Really… Saying stuff like _using, manipulating_ … Look at him, he’s crying!”

He’s not. Sure, Shin-Ah was obviously affected from hearing them, but apparently not affected enough to make him cry. Still, the small child was trembling slightly and Zeno could hear him muttering nonstop ‘don’t kill’.

Probably because he _thought_ he’s still wired to kill those who knew about him.

He underestimated his self-restrain too much.

(Zeno doubted Shin-Ah’s upset about the using and manipulating thing, because Shin-Ah was so broken he had outright said he didn’t mind being used or lied to, as long as his power and murder isn’t involved at the same time.)

(Even Zeno didn’t mind the using and manipulating thing. It’s the truth. Well, he’s not sure about manipulating, but he couldn’t disagree on the using and exploiting)

Giok didn’t say anything, but to give him credit, he seemed really surprised and guilt-stricken. He didn’t even hesitate a moment later to walk closer to Zeno and apologized, Shimizu and Delima bowing with him.

“Sorry.”

Just that. No excuses. No justification. His dark brown eyes didn’t betray his doubts and suspicion of Zeno. There’s even pity there somewhere.

Sorry you have to hear all that?

Bastard.

Zeno could feel his lips forming a smile, but he wondered if Shin-Ah knew that he’s not at all satisfied with the apology. Most likely he did. Certainly he could feel how Zeno tightened his hold, and how his muscles tensed with the urge strike at the insolent man.

Zeno wasn’t sure why he’s angry. After all, he did think that most of their sentiment was justified. Zeno himself agreed with them. Except for the demonic eyes bit.

Well, he did think he wouldn’t like it if he had to separate from Shin-Ah.

Tendrils of black matter released Zeno and went to Giok instead, entangling itself on his neck. The breath suppressed by the tendrils came out as a snort.

_‘Thanks, big bro. I don’t like them too.’_

Somehow, at that moment more than he hated himself.

Zeno watched the three of them, how they slowly rose and just looked at him expectantly as if waiting for response. The dragon flashed them his fangs in a grin and turned around, certain that he wouldn’t be followed this time.

For the good of many, Zeno decided to leave.

* * *

Zeno didn’t say much, if at all, but it sure felt like he’d been rambling in anger the entire time. The tension between him and the others, even as they apologized, was palpable. Shin-Ah could feel it in his skin. The tensing of skin, the strong and quick thumping of heart…

Thank heavens nothing happened.

When they mentioned about ‘demonic eyes’, Shin-Ah panicked. He should be studying Zeno’s neck, seeing how curtain like things open up and close with his breathing, also when he’s speaking, but by chance he wasn’t so into it.

When too focused, Shin-Ah could lose sight of everything else.

Sight, Shin-Ah thought, but in truth he meant every sensory input except from the one he’s focusing on would fail to reach him.

Voice too.

Nothing would remain, just faint whispering of a monster, begging to be fed with hearts.

Normally, Shin-Ah wouldn’t notice anything else. He’d be the same as losing consciousness. That’s why, Zeno didn’t lie, really.

Normally, he wouldn’t realize that Zeno was talking to someone.

It’s only because inside the neck, there’s structure which would move when Zeno talked. A part of him became curious as to what he could have been saying, and wasn’t as focused as usual.

That’s why he _listened_.

About Zeno. About his eyes. About Jae-Ha.

Whoever that was.

Normally Shin-Ah would be curious and intrigued, because the name did rouse something in him, but the thing about Zeno made the monster in him excited and it’s not something that Shin-Ah could just ignore.

_“How dare they! Hey, you agree, right? They’re not off the mark, that yellow dragon probably is really just using us, but you don’t mind it right? You don’t want him to feel guilty all the time, right? You don’t want him to start speaking about how terrible he really is again, right?!”_

How much Shin-Ah wanted for that depressing talk to stop must be the same with how much Zeno wanted to see emotions shown clearly on his face.

He’d agreed with the monster at this. Though not with his solution, which was killing the insolent people on the spot.

Zeno honestly scared him more than the monster though. He was genuinely angered. Shin-Ah was reminded of the day he decided to leave his village, when his body was still too heavy for him to walk on his own and Zeno insisted on carrying him. He’d been so angry then too, towards the villagers. He had cursed them, in fact.

This time, Zeno didn’t curse them out loud, but still his anger was palpable.

Shin-Ah felt scared and happy at the same time, something he didn’t know was possible.

He could feel like he was almost smiling as he tried to remind Zeno that it’s not good to have more blood on their hands.

Thankfully, although it felt as if he wanted to, he didn’t do anything either.

 “You know… if they weren’t so tactless, I’d say they’re good people.”

Zeno laughed, unexpectedly.

Despite what they said, about him manipulating and using Shin-An and clearly making a point of how terrible Zeno was, the yellow dragon didn’t seem offended. At least, at first he wasn’t. At the end of the conversation, when Giok apologized, it’s clear that Zeno wasn’t satisfied.

Shin-Ah felt quite happy about it, to be honest. The truth in Shin-Ah’s mind was the exact opposite anyway.

Rather than Zeno using Shin-Ah, it’s Shin-Ah who’s using Zeno.

Shin-Ah repeated the word ‘progress’ in his mind. He felt like he could almost understand Zeno’s motive for trying to cure Shin-Ah’s illness. It did feels nice when someone precious starts to get over their silly thought.

“Good people can sometimes be mistaken too, specially when passion overrun common sense. Well, when they’ve… I mean, when we’ve all calmed down, communication will be possible. It could take a while though.”

It sounded like spoken from personal experience.

“How long?”

“It could be years, to be honest.”

So depressing.

Even so, Zeno’s smile was brighter than the afternoon sun. That’s his smile when he found something funny, when he had an inside joke which he had no plan to share with Shin-Ah.

Personal experience, no doubt.

There seemed to be a kind of silent agreement made from the conversation. The group was troublesome, but curious. They meant well, most likely, but didn’t convey it well enough, probably due to biased idea they got from who-knows-where. Probably Jae-Ha the dragon. Since Shin-Ah and Zeno had made searching for Ryokuryuu as goal, and by process of elimination Jae-Ha was most likely Ryokuryuu, no one ever voiced the question of leaving their tent and run away from the curious group.

Shin-Ah wondered though, if they’d have to wait for years until proper communication was possible.

 


	16. Chapter 16

Zeno imagined something more dramatic to be honest.

At least, he must admit, he fantasized something far more dramatic than the two woman that were Delima and Mirah coming to their camp that very night with already skinned, bled out, and seasoned rabbit, and the younger of the two broke the deafening silence with “we’ve come in peace”.

He had the feeling that this would be silly memory in far future though.

Shin-Ah didn’t seem like he minded their presence so much, maybe because they’re not the ones who surprised him. Also, he’d come to trust Delima a bit. Probably because she didn’t do anything the whole night before and in the morning. She had loose lips and Shin-Ah seemed to enjoy listening to her quite a bit too.

He seemed quite glad with the speedy development, Zeno would say.

And meat is always good.

When Shin-Ah’s happy, then he too would be happy. The girls seemed to have realized that. Delima visibly sighed in relief after she saw how unexpectedly accepting Shin-Ah was, when he asked if he could watch when Mirah offered to cook it for them, and most likely when she saw Zeno’s empty hands, both Shin-Ah’s dagger and Ao’s sword sheathed and placed on a bag quite far from where Zeno was standing.

She’d eyed Zeno warily.

“Don’t worry. We’ll be eating the meat too.”

She must have realized that before Zeno was being cautious and even checked her sweets for poison before giving it to Shin-Ah.

“I wasn’t worried. I was just trying to prove a point.”

“That you can be an overprotective big bro if you wanted to?”

Zeno felt his eyebrows twitch, and Delima actually giggled. By huffing in slight annoyance and embarrassment, Shin-Ah probably thought that Zeno felt offended, because he suddenly grabbed Zeno’s hand and said they’d need more water.

In the river, Zeno taught Shin-Ah something called fistbump.

“Sorry. Mirah’s husband is lecturing Giok at the moment. He needs to be taught to hold back. There’s a limit even at being blunt,” Delima said, eyes twinkling as she looked at happy seeming Mirah, who mended the fire and mind the grilled meat and Shin-Ah sitting next to her, seemingly fascinated at the gems on her hair. Having assigned the riceball making duty, she and Zeno had nothing to do at the moment but to sit and watch the other two cooking until the rice is done. They chose to sit out of the cooking group’s earshot (though it’s doubtful that Shin-Ah couldn’t hear them) and just chat.

Well, Zeno had no intension of hiding present circumstances from Shin-Ah anyway. Or anything at all, really. It’s fine if he could hear.

(It’s just that things of the past are scarier and harder to brought up)

Might ease his worry too, about the idea he had that Zeno would kill everyone.

Not that it’s wrong per se, the urge was almost present.

“Well, as apologies, I’ll be as blunt as possible with you though. We’ve sure have gotten off on the wrong foot. Do forgive me if I offend you though, and if I may ask for you to not kill me for it?”

Zeno glared at her but decided to not comment on the jab.

“Don’t tell me you’re planning to keep following us…”

“Our group believes in majority vote, and five out of nine want to make sure Shin-Ah’s really well taken care of, so sorry about that. Giok kinda gets into their heads.”

Nine? Zeno was sure he only saw eight in the morning. Delima, Giok, Shimizu, Mirah, and four others who hadn’t introduced themselves. So there’s another one…

“Hmm… so you agree with him, mostly?”

“To be exact, we’re as doubtful as he does about you. Most of us are willing to give you benefit of the doubt though. You know. Innocent until proven guilty and all that. Still, five out of nine want visual proof, hence us following you around.”

“Guilty of what, exactly?”

“Dunno,” she said with a shrug, “but the last dragon we met was bruised all over, and he said was done by his guardian, so you can’t exactly blame us to be worried about this one. And Shin-Ah’s far younger. Giok has had terribly bad opinion of you ever since he saw Shin-Ah alone in the market. For your information, big bro, no matter what the reason is, you just don’t leave a kid alone in a crowded place.”

Zeno supposed he deserved that.

“Well, before that too. He said he saw him like… scared of you? I don’t know how he could tell with the mask really, so I just tell him he’s imagining it.”

Zeno wondered if it’s when they’ve just finished shopping for clothes, when Shin-Ah was shocked about the revelation that Zeno was older than expected and he got the idea that he was expected to kill him one day. That Giok had good eyes for such an idiot.

“I guess, seeing him holding you like a lifeline earlier might have irritated him much more. That’s the visual proof most of us wanted to see, after all. Even though I’ve told him you’re just careless… Really. Brothers. When have they ever listen?”

Zeno couldn’t help but to smile a bit.

“Yeah. It’s hard to convince Shin-Ah of anything too.”

“Giok follows instructions well though.”

“Shin-Ah too. He’s the most capable kid I’ve ever known.”

“Yup. Brothers are like that, I guess.”

“Very endearing, aren’t they?”

Yeah. Very endearing. Very lovable. Them and all of their descendants were all like that. Zeno couldn’t have known, he’d never gone to them, but he decided it to be the truth anyway.

“Hey, big sis. How did you know? About Shin-Ah, I mean.”

“It was Mirah who found out that the wanted child in the posters is a dragon. Eyes that can turn people to stone, it seems that in where she came from there’s belief that Seiryuu could do more than just see far. As for recognizing Shin-Ah as the wanted child… well, have you ever seen another entertainer who wears mask even when they’re not performing?”

“To be honest, I have.”

Hundreds of years ago.

“Well, it’s highly unusual. Even I’ve never heard of groups that does that, and believe me, due to Li-An being highly competitive, unless they’re new, there’s no way we wouldn’t know.”

“Li-An?”

“Mirah’s husband. He was hunting with our hunting dog, so you didn’t see him earlier. The rabbit is what he caught. Anyway, other than for his unusual trait, we know that fear can distort how people see things, so we kinda ignored the other details on the poster.”

So it’s thanks to a dog that they could always follow him and Shin-Ah…

Unexpectedly, there’s nothing spiritual about it. Zeno felt a bit stupid for not considering it.

“As for Jae-Ha… Ah, the dragon we met before, I mean, it’s because we saw his leg.”

Zeno nodded in understanding, his heart throbbing painfully.

“He wouldn’t even let us take off the shackles.”

“I see.”

Zeno leaned back and closed his eyes. Even though seeing Shin-Ah always made him feel at ease, at that moment it’s painful.

The reasoning was different, but Shin-Ah too wouldn’t let others take off his mask. Shin-Ah was because he feared he’d lose control and kill everyone, but in Jae-Ha’s case it might be because he’d become distrusting. Not surprising, not after what happened last century.

After what everyone must have told him.

It’s as if he could hear someone’s gruff voice, blaming him for it and everything.

“Tell me, Zeno. Is Shin-Ah related through blood with you?”

“… yep.”

“Ryokuryuu Jae-Ha too, then. Is he related to you?”

“Yeah.”

“Through Shin-Ah?”

“No. Even without Shin-Ah, I’d also admit that Ryokuryuu is related to me through blood.”

Delima hummed in acknowledgement. Zeno drank a gulp of liquor. To be related to a dragon _might be_ one thing, but to two could only _mean_ one thing and Zeno didn’t have white scaly hand.

“You know, I’ll take your words for it. Not in under any circumstances will I ever ask you to strip. I’m not interested in kids, yuck.”

Zeno laughed harder than he thought was possible.

* * *

Mirah didn’t say much.

Maybe, she couldn’t. She did have hurting throat, Shin-Ah remembered.

He glanced at her, at her long braided silvery hair instead of at the gems on each knot. How curious. It’s a strange color. Shin-Ah had seen a lot of people in the market and villages, but none had silver hair.

Though… the roots were brown…? Shin-Ah couldn’t be sure. The sun was setting, and even though he could see well in the dark, colors would always disappear with the light.

To think of it, Zeno once told him of a tradition from old. A hero who’d been immortalized in the stars had used dye made from certain flowers to color his hair white, as such was tradition in where he came from. They idolized the dragons, Zeno had mentioned. Shin-Ah wondered if Mirah came from the same place.

Mirah smiled gently when she noticed him staring.

“Soon.”

She said hoarsely, probably referring to the meat. To his ears, it sounded even more ear grating than earlier in the morning. Shin-Ah wondered if she’d hurt it even more by yelling, for example.

“… Zeno likes it juicy.”

“Shin-Ah?”

She asked with a slight tilt of her head, a questioning gesture.

“I like it too.”

“Understood.”

Shin-Ah felt himself winced. Her voice ended before the word, and she coughed few times. Maybe it’s wrong, but Shin-Ah was happy she couldn’t say much. There’d be less chance of the monsters getting agitated that way.

Though Zeno’s sudden laughter was surprising and a bit alarming. Turning back, Delima gulped a huge mouthful of liquor after what seemed like a toast with Zeno. From the faint feeling Shin-Ah had learned to be connected to Zeno’s psych, it somehow felt as if Zeno felt liberated from considerable weight.

“That’s great. Zeno doesn’t think his wife would appreciate having other women seeing his body too.”

Delima spat out the drink in her mouth, and Zeno’s smile turned annoying looking.

“… maybe she wouldn’t, but well! Zeno is faithful despite that, you see?”

“What?! Wa-wait… wait a minute… He-hey! Explain! THAT!!! The hell was that?!”

“Alcohol playing with your mind, probably. Aah, about time the rice is done, right? Riceballs, riceballs, gotta make me some riceballs~”

“Don’t say that! I’ve had two sips at most and I pretty sure I threw it all up ear- HEY!”

They bantered like that for a while, with Delima holding the hem of Zeno’s pants, preventing him from going anywhere. It’s an entrancing sight. It’s been a while since Zeno seemed to have so much fun with someone else.

Shin-Ah never realized how much Zeno liked surprising people.

Also, he never knew that he was married.

Mirah touched Shin-Ah’s shoulder, and when Shin-Ah turned to her she was agape.

“I didn’t know too. Zeno never told me that he’s married.”

Though his wife couldn’t be anyone but Kaya, Shin-Ah thought. Zeno often gushed about how cute she was, how adorable, and how she’s the best girl in the whole wide world. Almost as often as he gushed about Shin-Ah actually, using similar wording, even.

“Aah! I know! You meant when you played house when you’re young! You still take it seriously even though it’s like, years ago!”

“That’s just rude.”

“There’s supposed to be age restriction on it!”

The sly smile was the one Shin-Ah knew too well, the one he flashed whenever he’s not feeling particularly burdened with anything and finding people’s obliviousness amusing. Shin-Ah felt rather bad for Delima. He knew exactly how terrible that smile could make people feel.

But if he was to tell them that Zeno was _at least_ twice their age, they wouldn’t believe him too.

Speaking of which, how old was he, actually?

For how long did he live with the dragons, and with Kaya afterwards?

Zeno hadn’t told him that. Only that it happened so long ago. How long he spent alone afterwards too, he’d never told Shin-Ah.

Well, it’s true that Shin-Ah hadn’t asked. If he could joke about it like this, maybe it’s not that hard to answer.

Great. No need to worry to get his birthday date and true age then.

Somehow, the anxious feeling about the troupe had disappeared, as if Zeno’s echoing laughter erased it all away.

“… silly… old man.”

Drowned by the loud sound was Shin-Ah’s first laughter.

 


	17. Chapter 17

It felt like a jolt.

Zeno couldn’t explain it well, but suddenly it just felt… great. Granted, he felt good chatting with Delima, teasing her until she’s red and pouting, but at that time he was suddenly reminded with one of many excuses Shuten gave Abi for why he loved liquor so much.

The poetries he’d made.

The sayings that suddenly the world just seemed so clear! And bright! And beautiful! Music rang like bells, and it just felt so good!

Abi had said that that’s stupid.

“Not everyone can see the good in everything without some help, Princess!”

Zeno disagreed with Shuten about liquor being a proper help in seeing beauty in the world, but Zeno also suspected it’s because he couldn’t get anything from them. Though he agreed with him and Guen that ‘love’ makes everything prettier.

Abi didn’t. His ‘love’ (he’d air-quoted the word) for a certain idiot dragon made him gain permanent headache. But it’s another matter.

Zeno absentmindedly wondered if for some reason, his power weakened enough for him to get drunk, but he dismissed it almost immediately because something that great would never be allowed for him. The second idea as to where the feeling came from…

He glanced at Shin-Ah.

And he’s laughing.

He’s laughing.

That Shin-Ah, the one who was traumatized so badly he could barely show any emotion through his face was…

“Is Shin-Ah… laughing…?”

He ended up asking. Delima shot him a quizzical look, and confirmed it to be true. Even though she couldn’t be sure with his mask, but indeed, it appeared as if his lips were quirked and he was giggling. Now that they quieted down, his voice was audible.

“Ah… is that so… he’s laughing…”

Delima couldn’t know that Shin-Ah was ill, so maybe to her it’s a natural sight. A child laughing. Yeah, it’s natural. Children were meant to be happy after all.

But it’s been months. It’s been months since they first met and Shin-Ah never even smiled before.

He’d gotten sick often, cried often, and really, despite him saying that he’s happy Zeno couldn’t really believe him.

A young man laughed in Zeno’s dream once. He was tall and dark, mask and fur making him seem like guardian spirit of the forest. He was grim as he could be.

Suffocating humidity, sound of bells, and blood were the only things in his world. He’d let people crush his heart with their never ending curses until he’d lost his voice, smile and humanity, and not even stepping into a whole new bright world could restore him.

And yet he laughed. He finally laughed.

He laughed when Zeno tried on clothes, cosplaying into different roles Zeno had had to play in the past.

Shin-Ah didn’t. Couldn’t. Instead, he thought of something so dark and scary and beyond imagination, and it was as if Zeno could hear the sound of more locks securing his closed off heart.

That man was not Shin-Ah.

That man was unfortunate. He was what Shin-Ah could become, If Hiryuu only came when she needed him. If Ryokuryuu in his mad dash around Kouka hadn’t found him. If Hakuryuu villagers failed to find him.

if Zeno decided to ignore him.

Honestly, Zeno expected Shin-Ah to be as big as that man was when he started smiling again.

Surely, only Hiryuu could restore him, he thought.

“… oh gods, you’re a crying drunk.”

“I don’t get drunk. Ever. Ask Shin-Ah.”

“That’s… well, good for you, but you’re really crying, boy. No kidding.”

His vision was indeed getting a bit blurry. It’s been a long time since he’d shed tears, Zeno mused as he wiped his eyes with his sleeve. He never thought he’d be able to anymore. Before there was Shin-Ah… hundreds of years before, if he’s not mistaken?

So much like Kaya in that regard, that boy.

“It’s just because of the laughter, don’t mind me.”

He took a deep breath, exhaled, and drank more of his wine.

That’s right, that’s right… that man was unfortunate. Shin-Ah was… well, honestly, things could had been better for him.

But…

_“Big bro, from now on, Zeno can at least pretend right? That I did something right for once?”_

Shin-Ah looked up and seemingly questioning in his silence when Zeno glanced back at him, unable to fight the urge to commit the sight to his memory. Traces of smile still clearly visible on Shin-Ah’s lips.

From Shin-Ah’s bells, black smoke came out entangling Zeno’s hand and pulling him forward with a tug. It’s as if he’s asking what Zeno’s doing, acting uncaring in time like that. Zeno burst out laughing.

He’d take it as a yes.

* * *

There was a memory Zeno suddenly recalled.

Of Kaya, his most precious girl yet.

“You know, Zeno... I’m glad to see you smiling again.”

She said it while braiding stems into flower crown. Zeno could hardly remember her face, but he was sure that she was smiling sweetly.

“Kaya can only smile. Kaya’s only good point is her smile. Or so she was told. Kaya is glad that she could help Zeno regain his smile.”

She giggled after she placed the finished crown on top of Zeno’s head.

“Kaya thinks… well, Kaya doesn’t think it’s a good thing to be sad or angry all the time, but they’re important to have, don’t you think so too?”

No, Kaya. I don’t want you to be sad or angry. You always seem happy. You’d be scary when angry.

“Hehehe. Kaya totally would, wouldn't she? You know, Kaya thought Kaya has lost everything that could make Kaya sad. Turns out… Well, Zeno! Turns out you made Kaya sad so badly that she cried! That is amazing!”

What’s amazing is that you’re thanking me for making you cry. And that I needed an hour to convince you that you did cry.

“To be fair, I was crying out of relief. And it’s been years since I cried. But, Kaya promises. Kaya won’t cry again. This time, for sure… Kaya is sure. Kaya has lost everything that could make Kaya sad. Zeno comes, Kaya sad. Zeno stays, Kaya happy. Yup yup!”

Why? It’s just me. You’re fine without me.

“Kaya was. But, Kaya was also lonely.”

…

Her smile didn't falter despite the depressing admission.

“Now Kaya can only cry again if you were to leave. Haha!”

That’s good. I wouldn’t leave you.

That’s what he told her. Zeno hated to see her sad. He’d like it if she’s happy all the time.

But then, he remembered Shin-Ah. The boy had said similar thing.

Shin-Ah was very much like Kaya, broken beyond doubt due to their bodily curse and isolation. Shin-Ah though was much more broken, as he could hardly display anything at all through his face. Smile was easy. Smile was easiest to show. Happiness was easier to feel for a broken soul.

Sadness and anger was harder.

Shin-Ah been exposed on it all his short life.

Zeno agreed with Kaya. Sadness and anger wouldn’t be good if it’s felt or shown all the time, but it’s necessary. Shin-Ah needed them as much as he needed his other emotions. It wouldn’t do if he could only show sign of feeling those two emotions when it’s too much for him.

He smiled. That’s great. Now, to help him show other emotions...

If he told Shin-Ah that he’s able to smile again now, it’d feel like job well done already.

To both Shin-Ah and to Zeno himself.

That’s why, lest Zeno once again got convinced that only by leaving that he’ll be able to cause people to feel grief, Zeno decided to stay silent and keep this progress a secret from Shin-Ah.

Also, he decided that he needed to tease Shin-Ah more.

* * *

Shin-Ah woke up to find a big beast breathing (panting?) right in front of his face.

Needless to say, he was scared shitless. His heart felt as if it’d jumped from his chest to his throat.

Normal child would have cried, Shin-Ah knew, and yet he found himself unable to move and make a sound. Then again, he wasn’t normal. He was a dragon, and dragons don’t usually get to feel love and luxury of having a guardian like normal children. Granted, things had changed since he went with Zeno, but still.

To Shin-Ah, when faced with bodily harm, his first instinct wouldn’t be to call for help.

(If Chi-Hu hadn’t told him explicitly to go to Zeno back then, Shin-Ah doubted he’d even think of asking about what to do to his now guardian)

It’s probably due to Ao’s teachings, ingrained in his body even though his mind had started to erase recollection of them.

Don’t make a sound.

Don’t move.

Don’t agitate them.

They can smell fear.

And when they do, they’ll…

The beast barked once and licked Shin-Ah’s mask. It’s mouth seemingly forming a playful smile.

Even though Shin-Ah had sort-of forgotten what Ao said they’d do, he was certain it wasn’t _that_.

Shin-Ah watched, dumbfounded, as the beast practically skipped to where Delima was sleeping and licked her face with more vigor than it did Shin-Ah’s, like it restrained itself before.

She groaned and swatted the beast away, which whined in respond as if disappointed.

“Good gods, Batu… not now… why are you here…?”

She said as she groggily sat up.

It was only then that Shin-Ah even thought of looking for Zeno. His first guess was correct, and his hand went to the one securing him as always by the stomach every night. Apparently Shin-Ah was so surprised he didn’t realize that he, as usual, was sleeping in Zeno’s hold.

“… that’s… not a dog.”

He heard Zeno muttered in disbelief. The fact that Zeno was awake made Shin-Ah wondered if he slept at all last night. Surprisingly, despite being sunshine personified, Zeno was not a morning person. Maybe it’s because he liked to stargaze, and usually would only go to bed when dawn breaks, but it’s rare to find him so lucid in the morning.

(Usually, Shin-Ah would wiggle himself free and proceeded to practice his sword, and Zeno would sleep for a while more before he started cooking breakfast)

Still, it’s Zeno.

He’s the one who boasted that no one would be able to beat him in battle of endurance, and his dedication to uphold the promise that he’d protect Shin-Ah had made him think up unbelievable thing at best, deadly thing at its worst.

Pulling allnighter for two nights in a row was, to be honest, quite tame compared to what Shin-Ah imagined Zeno actually wanted to do.

Dog… Delima and Mirah did mention having one…

But yes, Shin-Ah agreed. The beast Delima called ‘Batu’ couldn’t be a dog. It had similar build to the wolf he saw with Ao long time ago. Also it’s big. VERY big. It must be as tall as Zeno’s chest.

“What do you mean? Batu is our precious bodyguard slash hunting dog. Also she makes great pillow.”

Delima said with a yawn. Batu had hopped and woke Mirah with enthusiastic licking.

Because the two women didn’t seem even the least bit disturbed, Shin-Ah figured it’s normal occurrence in their group. Just as how most morning Shin-Ah will wake up to Zeno’s breathing tickling his ear, murmur of ‘good morning’ like a promise, and content smile as beautiful as the rays from rising sun.

“No, seriously, that’s not a dog.”

Zeno insisted.

Even so, his hold on Shin-Ah loosened, like he was sure that the wolf wouldn’t be like usual wild beast which would only see small children as prey. At least, Delima and Mirah seemed like they’ve had Batu for years, and no one ever got bitten.

Or eaten.

_“Not from their group maybe.”_

“She’s a dog. Sure, she’s bigger than most… but yeah, she’s a dog.”

“She’s not.”

“She is. Ugh, whatever, my head hurts… must be the liquor yesterday… I’m going back and… grab some breakfast or something… I’ll bring some here…”

Mirah raised her palm and made begging gesture, but dropped it before Delima turned to her. Instead, she just waved weakly with lazy smile as if she’s still in the haze of dream world. Delima murmured good morning before standing up and stretched as she walked away, the beast (which may or may not be a dog) on her trail.

When she’s sure Delima’s not seeing her, Mirah gestured a hand as if she’s cutting her throat, clapped her hands, and lowered her head.

Zeno seemed as if he got the message and proceeded to weighting his options.

“Shin-Ah…”

“Yeah?”

“… it’s my mistake. That’s a dog,” he said with a sigh. Mirah seemed so relieved she got teary eyed. She bowed repeatedly before running after Delima.

_“No, that is not a dog. What is he saying?!”_

Voices screamed inside Shin-Ah’s mind, but he nodded nevertheless.

“At least in spirit. That’s a dog.”

“In spirit.”

“Yeah.”

“In body…”

“Wolf to dog is like… humans to monkeys. Close enough.”

“Okay.”

That’s a bit confusing, but okay.

Probably sensing his confusion, Zeno continued in a whisper.

“Like me and you, maybe?”

That didn’t help.

Shin-Ah decided that whatever happen that day, even if they’re going to be with Delima and Mirah and their entertainment troupe, he’d force Zeno to sleep that night. Now he’s starting to question Zeno’s lucidity, since he most likely just suggested that one of them was a monkey.

_“No, it’s not about that, but yeah, let’s just go with that. It’s too early for that to register, I guess.”_

Shin-Ah leaned back to Zeno’s chest and looked up to his face. It’s the same healthy looking face as always. Still, maybe it’d be better if he sleeps now. They did say people who lack sleep usually had terrible control of their emotion.

Lest he do something stupid.

 “Zeno can sleep now. I’m going to practice for a bit.”

“Hmm… Yeah. Go for it. Be careful not to cut yourself… is what Zeno wanted to say, but at this point, you have more right to say it to Zeno, I guess?”

“Yeah.”

Zeno grinned and ruffled Shin-Ah’s head, commenting that Shin-Ah’s bluntness was really a formidable weapon, whatever that meant. The hold he had, which was loose, suddenly felt a bit tighter.

“I’m going to practice.”

Shin-Ah tried repeating, but Zeno just hummed to Shin-Ah’s neck and held him tighter. After couple moment of consideration, Shin-Ah decided to give up and relaxed to the hold.

“Or I can stay. And be held by Zeno. While Zeno sleeps,” he said resignedly. Zeno chuckled against Shin-Ah’s skin.

“That does sound very tempting… You’re so warm… and fluffy… and smells so good…”

The way he put it was as if Shin-Ah was a bun straight out of the oven.

Weird. Zeno felt more clingy than usual. Shin-Ah wondered if it’s really just because he lacked sleep. For someone who lacked sleep, he seemed to be in even higher spirit than his usual made-up upbeat self.

Did something happen? As usual Shin-Ah fell asleep earlier than everyone, so he didn’t know. In fact, he didn’t remember falling asleep at all yesterday. Must be because he lacked sleep himself.

“I’m not food.”

He said just in case.

“Too cute to be eaten, yeah.”

So Zeno did consider eating him once.

That’s a bit scary.

_“… you thought scary and yet you’re still this relaxed.”_

It’s just a joke. Zeno liked to tease others.

_“You haven’t learnt, have you? Those jokes and teasing he said? What do you think they are?”_

Unclear facts. Truths he liked to share without giving the whole details. Shin-Ah knew. Which was why he thought it’s a bit scary, he tried to reason with the voice inside his mind.  

The voice stayed silent after that, probably had nothing more to say since Shin-Ah apparently answered correctly.

“… you’re a hard one to please, aren’t you, Shin-Ah?”

Shin-Ah …heard Zeno muttered in the end, sounding a bit disappointed, followed by soft snoring noise.

Shin-Ah never get to ask what he meant by that. 


End file.
